nothing would change,
everything would go on
as usual
people would get back to their lives
would be little mourning

demons would have won

The good side of the world
would have lost a soldier
not that he was brave
but courageous
and
sacrificial
and
someone who would literally die
for you

Nothing would be lost

and life would resume
as though nothing ever happened.

i've been in love four times
almost five
but i stopped myself
like the moment you feel like telling someone the truth about something
because they seem like the kind of person you can trust
with something serious and personal and intense,
but then you stop yourself before
it's too late to take it back,
it was like that,
it was just like that.

i've been in love four times
and in a way, they were all small
repetitions of the first
but i think first love is like that,
when it ends, you just want to find it again
but you can't and so you keep trying
and then eventually
you go insane
with repeating the same thing over and over again
while expecting a different outcome.

and it's like reverse repetition
when you stop looking for someone to fill
your holes. and i never thought i'd get to this point,
being content with, finding solace even,
in the possibility of dying
alone.
perhaps its because everybody leaves, but
it's not really that,
it's just that i think at this point
i would be the one
to leave them.

just one moment is all it takes
one moment, sometimes less than a second
and you will need to live with that mistake
for who knows how long

You could have sliced my skin.
Peeled it back and eaten my heart.
Raw.
You could have shattered my bones.
Until each one cracked in half.
Snap.
You could have voiced your distaste.
Called me every name in the book.
Poison.

But even worse,
you didn't do anything.