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Shreyas c9 Nov 2018
I’ve got nobody with whom I can face the tides,
Feel like the walls are closing on me from all sides;

I’m starting to feel like on an island I am stranded,
Can’t bear it anymore, the situation I’ve been handed;

Maybe I was never in control of my ship from the start,
It is finally dawning on me that my world is falling apart;

I’m heading towards those icebergs I had daunted,
This surely isn’t the life that I had always wanted!

Always facing this storm that is raging inside,
I still have to always keep smiling and hide;

I still hide my life with all those ******* lies,
Making it look perfect for everyone’s eyes;

I want to escape this life in which I have landed,
Or else I might end up being here forever… stranded.

-c9
Inspired by one of the poems here, i decided to write my own..
Because I am sure all of us have felt atleast once that we are stranded in our own lives.
Shreyas c9 Nov 2018
I wonder why won’t this feeling go away, why am I so scared,
Maybe it’s because she is the last person about whom I cared;

Why every inch of my body is flooding with fear?
Is it the thought of losing the only person I hold dear;

But what if it is me who has taken away her hope and will,
Have I become such a monster now that I am ready to ****?

With my mind screaming endlessly asking me to stay,
Maybe it would be better for her if I were to just go away;

I had lost my humanness but she has returned me my tears,
So, should I keep hurting her more just so I can share my fears?

Frankl said if you have a ‘why’ you can deal with any ‘how’,
I guess I finally understand what he meant by that now;

Maybe I should have known that there can never be a happy ending,
I should have ended my story that day, instead of keeping it pending;

After everything she has done for me I couldn’t return even a bit,
I wonder without my Rogers by my side, will this Freudian ever make it…
-c9
When you know you are bad for a person, but you still feel like holding on.. you have to ask yourself.. you can't leave them or you wont?
Shreyas c9 Aug 2018
Let me take you through the life of someone you always question,
If only you knew that he was suffering from high-functioning depression;

He knows it when you call him behind his back cynical,
If only you knew that his depressed mood was clinical;

When he declines your invitations, you call him asocial as ****,
If only you knew that he feels no pleasure because he is stuck;

When you look at his lifeless eyes crying for help in stillness,
If only you knew that the fatigue was a symptom of his illness;

You laugh at him and always call him lazy, or lacking the drive,
If only you knew that he tries to summon the energy to survive;

When he goes around laughing making jokes about himself,
If only you knew his worthlessness is trying to lower his self;

No, he doesn’t roll up into a ball, laying for days on his bed,
If only you knew that thoughts of death still riddle his head;

After a few years like this you get used to living with this condition,
If only you knew that irrational guilt still haunts him like an apparition;

Since he is functioning you won’t look into your DSM to diagnose,
“Oh, he is just a little sad, it’s fine!”, but then again, who knows?
Yes it exists. When you have depressed mood for years, eventually you get up at start functioning, sure that might be a bit lower than your actual potential, but that is the illness not you! So next time you see someone who might be going through this, instead of dismissing their experience, maybe just wave and say hi. :)
Shreyas c9 Aug 2018
When you said you wanted to stay away, I just sat here frustrated,
Because your absence meant that I would again be disintegrated;

I know your hiatus might have nothing to do with me,
But my paranoid insecurities just wouldn’t set me free;

My mind screaming “that’s another person you’ve driven away”,
I must really be that horrible that’s why no one would ever stay;

I think I really am addicted to the daily dose of your voice,
So, when you left for a while I just had to make a choice:

To take the path that was left, where nothing seemed right,
Or get lost in a dream of the right, where you never left…
-c9
What do you do when you just have one person, and even that person tell you they need to stay away from you for a while? No contact no text no call.
Shreyas c9 Aug 2018
I’m missing someone who probably doesn’t exist,
And yet I hold on to the fantasy of an amazing tryst;

I’m homesick for a place that doesn’t exist,
It was just a house with people who coexist;

I’ve been pretending to live a life that doesn’t exist,
Then how can I find the strength to still persist?

I’ve kept up the façade of being a person that doesn’t exist,
Yet I can feel my true impulses becoming impossible to resist;

I think it finally may be the time that I should not exist,
The people who would miss me is anyways a short list…
-c9
Just putting in words whatever you've been feeling is an amazing thing. And that is the beauty of our HP community
Shreyas c9 Jul 2018
I live two different lives that are becoming intertwined,
One is on the outside and the other inside my mind.

When the outside world is toxic and in complete disarray,
Diving into the inside world why should I not just stay?

Maybe it feels like I am standing on the edge of an abyss,
Forsaking the outside world lets embrace the internal bliss?

I met an old fellow traveller when I was about to quit,
so I paused just before jumping into the bottomless pit.

Unravelling our narratives I realised benevolence is still alive,
Could this outside world be something I could after all survive?

Sharing some dark secrets and my deepest beliefs,
The warm comforting ear gave me some sort of relief.

I still dive into the inside world when things seem terrible,
but at least now I can say that both worlds are bearable…
-c9
When you meet someone who makes your life just bearable enough... where although not all your problems are solved atleast they are listened to.
Shreyas c9 Jun 2018
Ambiguous Confession

(I)sn’t it interesting how some things are just random?

(L)ike how I happened to be around, when you were there,
(O)ne could call it magic, but I have nothing to compare.
(V)ividly I remember the day when we first met,
(E)ven though every cell in me was calling you a threat.

(Y)our every word is now being etched permanently on my brain,
(O)pposed to the usual agony, I no longer feel any of the pain.
(U)nambiguously as possible, I need to soon tell you that……
  
-c9
An acrostic poem, to confess what can't be said out loud. When you are scared of love, and you happen to find it randomly. What do you do? How do you figure out a way to not only accept what you are feeling, but also risk losing everything by checking if the other person feels the same? Is it really so important to actually take that risk?
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