The hardest thing I've ever had to do is be myself

KEEP ME WARM EVEN WHEN YOU ARE FREEZING COLD

Don't ask me what I see in him because
I do not know the answer to that question,
It's the way he says my name ,
the way he brings out every vowel and consonant.
It is the huskiness in his voice,
the melody in his tone.
It may be the way he smiles,
how his lips curve when he opens his mouth,
how his lips feel when they press against mine.
No, It's his compelling eyes,
they seem to get me to do anything he pleases
like, going down on my knees and...
Yeah, it's his hands,
the feeling I get when they brush against my skin.
it is his arms.
The way he holds me tight
when I'm feeling down or cold.
it is probably his scent
the way I can smell him from a distance
and then get all jumpy inside.
It is how he makes me come,
over on Friday nights and we watch movies
even though he knows how much I hate movies.
It is because he asks me how I'm doing
and actually cares.
It is the way he tickles me
and it actually does not hurt.
It is actually because he makes me feel alive.
He makes me feel like I'm human.

would you miss me?
would you beg for me to stay?
would you grab my arm and pull me close
and say "you never want us to be apart"?
Yeah i am just wondering if the boy I love loves me back
to my friend...
would you reveal all my secretes cos i have no way of defending myself?
would you call me every week?
can you promise that are phone calls will not get shorter?
will you move on and get a new best friend?
will things be awkward between us?
stop saying we are BBFs because when I pack up and leave
you won't stop me but you will move on.

I miss you...
But i will never tell you this because the last thing i said was 'go to hell'
I hope you are good
Heard you found yourself another hope you are happy ( actually i hope that ***** treat you the way you treated me)
I was yours but thats done

The number of times I have wanted to be her
is equal to how much I love you.
I want to be her because you love her,
Because you see her as a ten.
Her legs, her face, her thighs, her flat stomach.
You will never look at me
so long as I am not like he
therefor I envy her.
Because every time I look into the mirror
I am disappointed by what I see.
I want to be called pretty
I want to be the girl you want to date
But I can see that that will not happen,
Since I am not her.

I used to smile at the thought of our occasional talks
How for a minute or two, I felt as though I mattered
As though I was also special or maybe I was just as important.
How, i got to know what made you you
And maybe shared a bit of me.
But I...saw you and her laughing like we never had,
Gazing into each others eyes and, looking so ******* immature,
And...I went home.
In bold, black letters i wrote on my wall...
I HATE THAT *****!
our talks are no longer the same
cos all you want to talk about is her
and... I can't tell you that the ***** you're with
is probably ******* another dude's **** as you,
sit here and try to convince me to believe that she is amazing.
But no, I am jealous and I don't want to be trapped into liking her,
So I, create a monster, a kind, beautiful monster
who is perfectly perfect for your loving heart and...
who wants to be in your chest
who sees you and only you
therefore, I ******* hate that *****
but ****, she is perfect for your caring soul

you are in most of my of my poems,
how about
we fast forward to the part when you're mine
and you are more than i thought you were
and we are both happy.

you held me in your arms
and when you left
i wanted you close
because you left you're warm scent to comfort me
but it wasn't the same as you being there.

10 years ago you smiled at me and
wished me a happy birthday.
my birthday is coming up and
i pray to hear your voice one more time but
you're not here.
17 years ago you
swore that you were gonna protect me
from the evils of this world but
you left me before the world started getting me down and
now i long for your touch and
winter days seem colder and
mom hasn't been the same.
I ******* haven't been the same.,
i pray to God that wherever you are you live with regret and
your wondering soul never gets to rest
cos my birthday is coming up and
you wont be around.