courtney: Favorites

Dec 2017 courtney

strong

Dec 2017 courtney

Emma

strong

You must be strong.

Strong like a flower that blooms in the snow,

Strong like a tree that misses its leaves,

Strong like a book with untouched pages,

Strong like the girl who smiles through her tears,

Strong like the boy who can look her in the eyes,

And tell her

Being strong isn’t always worth it.

#depression #strong #flower #poem #sad #tears #love

Dec 2017 courtney

i want to be happy

Dec 2017 courtney

Emma

i want to be happy

How long do I need to wait
To know your answer?

How long do I have to stay
Before you tell me to leave?

Maybe the next day
She’ll steal your laughter.

Just like she steals every good thing.

#sad #depression #laughter #hope #lost #love #anxiety

Dec 2017 courtney

roses for him

Dec 2017 courtney

Emma

roses for him

Like a rose sheds its pedals,

Or a bird loses its wings,

We are all just parts

Of little broken things.

#rosesforjonghyun #rip #sad #depressed #death #broken #anxiety

Dec 2017 courtney

Back

Dec 2017 courtney

wL

Back

When I go,
I just want you
to remember that
it is okay to feel sad.
Sadness is an emotion,
it is something that
you are feeling.
It represents that
you are alive.
If you do not feel sad
once in your life,
you are not living it
to the fullest.
Whether it be sometimes
or many times,
it is okay to be sad.
When you feel sad
just remember
someone has
your back.
I have it;
your
back.

im leaving soon

Dec 2017 courtney

Oh, little bird

Dec 2017 courtney

wL

Oh, little bird

Little bird, little bird.
Fall asleep on my lap.

Little bird, little bird.
Take a breath and breathe.

Little bird, little bird.
Listen to my voice.

Little bird, little bird.
The rough melody it cries.

Little bird, little bird.
Shut your eyes.

Little bird, little bird.
Don’t look at my shade.

Little bird, little bird.
Feel the cotton in your ears.

Little bird, little bird.
Help me.

Little bird, little bird.
Everything is crumbling.

Little bird, little bird.
Because everything is breaking.

Little bird, little bird.
Break and crumble.

Little bird, little bird.
Oh, the sweet lullaby you scream.

she is the bird

Dec 2017 courtney

sorry

Dec 2017 courtney

wL

sorry

I am sorry if I treated you poorly
when I was only just trying to help.

I am sorry if I treated you too harshly
when I was only just trying to help.

I am sorry if I yelled at you
when I was only just trying to help.

I am sorry if I made you think about suicide
when I was only just trying to help.

I am sorry if I didn't stop you from wanting to suicide
when I was only just trying to help.

I am sorry if I called you weak in my mind
when I was only just trying to help.

No one helped me when I was at my lowest.
And my only coping mechanism
was my demons.

They called me names I did not like
but I could not retaliate because
they were true.

Though I have resurfaced back into hell,
the side-effects still lingers.

I am now curse
with a heart
that will never
skip a
beat.

the pathway i took, no man should ever.

Dec 2017 courtney

cry, crying, cried.

Dec 2017 courtney

wL

cry, crying, cried.

What you have done to me,
I wanted to cry.

What you have done to me,
I was crying inside.

What you have done to me,
I never cried again.

there is not one tear left

Dec 2017 courtney

yell

Dec 2017 courtney

wL

yell

walk into
the house,
you yell at me,
once again.

walk into
the bathroom,
you yell at me,
i don't know why.

walk into
your bedroom,
you yell at me,
what did i do wrong?

walk into
the kitchen,
you yell at me,
what is it this time?

walk into
the living room,
you yell at me,
i'm tired of your **** now.

walk into
the front yard,
you tear up at me,
i yell at you.

you've changed so much that you're always mad now. yelling at me when I did nothing, we can't even talk properly anymore. this is it. the bond has been broken. good luck finding someone else.

Dec 2017 courtney

nightmare

Dec 2017 courtney

wL

nightmare

I run,
trying to
run away from her.

She's here and I can't stop shaking.

I hold my breath,
my heart is thumping,
sweat pours down my body.

Waiting for my death,
I shiver in despair.

I see her shade,
I see her stare,
I see her smile.

pitch black eyes,
my mind fades black.

bed drenched in sweat

Dec 2017 courtney

Not a dream

Dec 2017 courtney

wL

Not a dream

The smooth silence.
Only the sound of the swirling fan could be heard.
The boy resists his urge to sleep.
He is scared to sleep.
But his eyelids are getting heavy.
Heavy as a mountain.
The boy sleeps in defeat.

He wakes up drenched.