Don't try and help me, these ***** angels got a hold of me
A bottle of Old E to stay cold is all I need G
If you can reach me I need help, somebody please teach me
This *******'s like a leach and I can't hear them preach
Each day you stay away, I surface stronger to make you pay
Ain't no way to stray from this curse and it ain't no use to pray
These highs and lows got me ecstatic and feeling hollow
At times I wanna die, **** back and let the bullet follow
Why wallow in self-pity? embrace it and take the city
A man with **** to loose is a man who does as he chooses
I'm confused, It's like I'm walking in two different peoples shoes
One minute I'm about to blow, the next it seems I'm defused
***** and liquor with marijuana to make me sicker
Chased by a swisher, I run up on you and squeeze the trigger
*SOMEBODY STOP ME!! By now somebody should have shot me
Don't try and help me because now these ***** angels got me

Such a tragic event that would lead to all her torment
Once living content, then daddy died and the monies spent
Never cried a tear when I was near, she held it in for years
But no matter how she persevered sometimes it seemed clear
She was damaged beyond repair, of that she seemed aware
And so begins an affair of destruction and despair
She didn't care or give a **** and was the first to admit
She'd commit suicide and leave with her ******* wrists slit
Inside she was worried that the pain would never subside
She set aside the words of wisdom that her friends provide
Look where u reside, so close to the outcome reaching 4 crumbs
Feeling forever numb, deep down begging not to succumb
On a dead run to the grave cause for the pain she's a slave
Her world caved in and paved the way, now ain't no time to save
Nothing I gave could bring her back, nothing was left intact
Weary of the act, she played the game as her world turned black

Funny how a glance could turn into more than just a chance
Enhance the vibe as I slide up and return the advance
Dear Medina; It’s crazy how we dance to our own tune
Like ballerinas, It’s a romance just waiting to bloom
Consumed by the bottle, this alcohol’s got me full throttle
I take another swallow thinking where we’ll be tomorrow
Would you follow me there and throw caution to the air?
Without a care how it ends, and no sense to be prepared
As we sit and stare I knew, someday we would say “I do”
With our names tattooed on our chest for the world in plain view
It’s true, nothing could compare to it when I’m here with you
But I wonder when solitaire, is trouble overdue?
When I’m alone I fear that you’d be better off without me
One minute you’re here, then the next you seem to disappear
Hard to be sincere when I know I should be shedding tears
But instead, I holler cheers, tip my glass and down my beer

*****, funny how it seems we’re the wrong plan in the wrong hands
It feels like a dream, if I wake would I be another man? *

[PART 2]

I don’t wanna call it quits, but ****, I feel like this is it
Cause if we gotta split its better if we could do it quick
Who would predict and who knew this is where the bricks would fall?
After all the late night calls and all our pics up on the wall
I can’t recall a time I didn’t have you on my mind
It’s like we were entwined and without you I was blind
Please don’t remind me, please erase it from my very thoughts
If we both forgot, we could find the love we never got
Somewhere it’ll stop yet somewhere I know we both still care
Somehow unaware of what a precious bond we share
I run my fingers through your hair, now here we go again
I kiss her on the chin and pull her closer to my skin
Let’s not pretend, it’s clear cause we both wear it on our sleeves
Oh what a twisted web we weave when we practice to deceive
Can’t believe I almost walked away in the mania
How could I forget a girl named Jay from Romania?

[PART 3]

Funny it seems but reckless has always been our thing
From scene to scene I reminisce and this has been our theme
Extreme at times, sometimes I couldn't even read the signs
Reminds me how I knew right then and there, you’d be mine
Complete surrender, caught up in the heat and all its splendor
If I had it better, id chose defeat and not remember
How sweet can be deceit if it helps me sweep you of your feet?
And would you choose to repeat or run off in retreat?
For better or worse I got ya and I know it’s vice versa
Even if we’re cursed to make the same mistakes until the hearse
The days of our lives watching the other husbands and wives
As we strive with all our drive to arrive at that point so we can thrive
Somehow we survive with happy times around the corner
Looking back on the former ills knowing their never more
****, funny how it seems we’re the wrong plan in the wrong hands
It feels like a dream, if I wake would I be another man?

Nobody cared to save me, looked past like nobody's there
Since a baby, thoughts came to fast for me to bare
Come read to me some poetry, make it vanish away
Sooth this restless feeling, banish thoughts of the day
Is there a way to stop the stress you would care to address?
Thoughts of bullet proof vests and shots aimed at my chest
We live to express, take aim poetically with my pen
Spin this web of sin, no need for this religion
As children were walking in the steps we hoped to follow
Unforgiving, **** tomorrow was the motto
Swallowed in the grip of this ****, now how can I explain
Became a hollow pit, overcame growing insane
Feelings of sadness and longing that's not akin to pain
Resembling sorrow only as mist resembles rain
In the midst of the last chapter, running out of laughter
After it's said and done, would it even matter?

[PART 2]

Look how they used to say pray and one day we'd find our way
what’s the use these days? I'm hopeless, my mind would stray
Nobody even noticed the loaded pistol in my fist
Breathless, got the kiss of death walking in my midst
The sickness wrapped itself around my brain, now what remains?
Whatever distracts the pain helping me sustain
Liquor in my veins hoping to god they catch me faded
Gone of gin again, fully eradicated
Catch me sleeping in the dark, if you got the heart, then blast
I'm having visions of closed caskets and ski masks
They ask me to tell them, if it's hell then why don't I leave?
Like Lenore, the bell tolls, weep now or never more
What I'm living for? Maybe a peaceful night of sleep
Reap what I sew, hoping death slows to just a creep
Peak into the last chapter, were running out of laughter
After it's said and done, would it even matter?

[PART 3]

Her every tone is music's own in a way you never heard
And something more than melody dwells in her words
Who could tell one day she'd leave? passed away,  not many grieve
Conceived to fade away, replaced by a new breed
Of her bright face, one glance will trace a picture on the brain
And in our hearts is a sound that must long remain
My memory contains thoughts of her that always endear
Taught me these lessons, her expressions always clear
I save my tears in the hopes she reappears once again
A few chosen men with pens to begin once again
I burn no candles and hang no wreath upon this tomb
Can't cheer the place of grief but only mock it's gloom
Doomed to never shed a tear or bring flowers in their stead
They lose their perfume and power when offered to the dead
Like I said, it's the last chapter, running out of laughter
After it's said and done, would it even matter?

And now (once again) tonight the same arguments ignite…..
Who the **** has the right to tell us we’re wrong when we fight?!
(once again) Today is filled with rage, violence in the air
Got me beating on your *** telling you nobody cares
On your life I swear, you **** up again,  best be aware
No other violence we shared before will ever compare
(once again) here we go making amends, but it’s pretend
Knowing it depends on when I get to drinking again
Still she defends me to her friends when they ask what she’s thinking
When it transcends words and she’s getting beatings without blinking
(once again)) got cha blaming yourself,  feeling so ashamed
It’s a sick game, because of you *****, look what I became
Still, I love you too much to let you leave, so you duck and weave
Such a naive woman, I care and so therefore you receive
What the **** could you hope to achieve if you walked away?
And what kind of life could you conceive if you didn’t stay?

[PART 1]

**** everyone that’s ever been a friend of mine
Everyone that I ever loved until the end of time
So sick of sunshine, nothing but black clouds in my mind
I Sit seeing signs knowing that sometime soon it’s time
Seems we find a man stained with blood, spinning insane ****
Disaster’s in my lane but like Tech I pin and frame it
Don’t blame it on me when you embrace the inner furry
Spitting hurried words in a flurry, speaking absurdly
Has it occurred to thee, none of you could ever hurt me?
Absurdity, I feast on emcees, no obstacles for me
Illogical, living life like a beast, it’s mythological
Must be biological, the way I ****** methodical
Psychological warfare from one who never fought fair
Pathological nightmare, drops bodies without a care
Dare any soul to try and comprehend, this is the end
Once I begin, they all cry and slowly die from within

[PART 2]

**** everybody who ever passed anywhere near me
Everybody from my past who cared and yet still feared me
Nobody shed tears for me, or ever lent an ear to me
So now it’s clear to me, none of you are sincere to me
I disappear into madness filling my words with a blackness
No amount of cannabis can ever undo this sadness
Don’t ask me about my past; don’t think you’ll get past the mask
This just might be the last time you’ll EVER hear from my ***
Demons in mass and alas, I’m tangled within their grasp
Surpassed my peers and alas, I got no angels to ask
I’m mangled in my mind and it’s worse now that I’m all grown
Evilness in my bones plus I gets no rest in my dome
But I’m home at last with this pent up anger being shown
I’m alone; not a gang banger but I still hold the chrome
Come off my throne and try and comprehend, this is the end
Once I begin, they all cry and slowly die from within

[PART 1]

Can you picture planting seeds in the hopes they breathe?
Deceived by a world they never got a chance to see
Conceived by mistake, so unforeseen what we create
In a dreamlike state without a gleam of hope for fate
Waiting to grow, another rose that's choose not to bloom
So it's doomed to never know what lies beyond the womb
Consumed by circumstances and never had a chance
Couldn't finance this new life so they halt its advance
I understand it's for the best, and no fault to confess
So rest your head and release the pressure in your chest
Couldn't blame her but couldn't answer if I'd do the same
No train of thought, still so unsure of what would have came
Never got a name and never got a resting spot
Only got a drop of a life that had to stop
The talk of a silent voice who didn't have a choice
A sacrifice by design with no time to rejoice

[PART 2]

Though upon conception we had our own perceptions
Stressing if we could give this child both of our blessings
So many questions, would you get to grow? Am I wrong?
But I’ll never get to know and so I carry on
So much pressure on my brain about what would of came
How could something the size of a grain cause so much pain?
Aimed to give you more but there was no future in store
A life of living poor, held back by to many doors
My attempt at apology, I wished you better
Never thought I’d talk to you like this, through a letter
So here we sever with teardrops as you disappear
And it's clear, I never thought this is where it would steer
Endeared with love to the life that the whole world forgot
Hoped to rise above to give you things I never got
It's written for the silent voice, didn't have a choice
A sacrifice by design with no time to rejoice