I chose these city lights over your country heart.
I chose skyscrapers and busy streets over grass that's bright green.
You took over mountains and climbed them to the clouds.
I took on daily traffic and headed toward the ocean blue.
I chose my own fresh start instead of loving you.
You chose the NC country side and to love me from afar.
I've been through this game of selfishness for quite some time now...
And you've let me learn the hard way.
Now my heart is set on your green open fields and your heart is set on the city.
You're ready to finally let me go and I'm ready to finally let you in...
We never had good timing with love.

I found the prettiest of roads covered in red tulips and white daisies.  
With large willow trees that hid behind the fog in the morning.
I found the deepest part of the ocean and swam to the bottom of the sea...
Where I found purple reefs that covered everything around me.
And on my journey I came across an old elderly couple living a top of a golden hill.
In a stone house with flowers surrounding a wishing well.
They told me stories of distant lands and kingdoms past.
Of riches and jewels that glittered in the sun and how material items could never last.
They asked me about my life and I told them about you and your green eyes.
And your perfect smile and sandy blonde hair; I even told them about the lies.
And they smiled gently and kissed me cheek and sent me on my way.
Because they knew that even on this beautiful journey I would run back to you one day...
Because love is greater than all things big and small.
Loving you is my only real downfall.

About 23 days ago I remembered why I hated December so much.
It was your touch..
It was your eyes.
It was your soft, condescending, beautiful voice.
It was you.
I woke up to snow in the front lawn and I saw dark grey clouds above; it was as if they knew.
Your birthday is in 5 days and every year I used to call you and tell you how much you meant to me but this year.... This year I won't be calling.
See you forgot my birthday.
You forgot how much you cares about me.
Frankly, you forgot about me.
About 23 days ago I remembered how hard this time of year gets for me but I think I'm going to be okay...
Because it's 5  days away from your birthday and I haven't cried.
It's 2 days away from Christmas and I'm still alive.
And it's 1 hour before I pass out and finally get a peaceful night of sleep knowing I'm going to be okay...