i think it's normal to miss people,
i can see you twirling your hair with your finger,
i can hear your melodious laughter rumbling through my mind,
i can feel your smooth skin under my fingertips.

i want to admire your beauty once again,
gaze into those dazzling eyes,
feel your lips locking mine.

but you're gone,
you've vanished into thin air,
leaving nothing but bits and bits of memories,
and countless amounts of heartache.

and along with you,
you've stolen my heart,
robbed me of the sun's rays,
and took away countless hours of sleep.

you've left nothing but pain,
poured me endless thoughts at 3 AM,
everything consists of missing you.

is missing someone like this still normal?

standing in the sun's golden rays,
you let yourself enjoy the peaceful paradise,
that's hardly ever to come.

the way you smile suddenly feels so foreign,
as i witness your moment from afar,
hands crumbled into tight fists.

the stinging pain has become numb,
for centuries of laying on my bed,
gaze glued onto the ceiling,
and muffled sobs.

but when you're laying on the fresh cut grass,
with hands spread on the spacious greens,
it hits me again but harder than before.

yet this time is different,
because you're finally happy,
so despite my hard feelings,
i pick up my feet and turn away.

because you deserve this happiness,
i don't get to take that away from you,
so with a heavy heart,
and a mind of thousands of words,
i leave before i disturb your paradise.

i shove the confession down my throat,
even if it will soon eat me alive again.
i love you, and i did this for you.

there's nothing left of us,
besides vacant memories of what-if's,
and thousands of errors we've failed to fix.

when i stare into those eyes of yours,
ones that i once loved more than anything,
they no longer strike a meaning strong enough,
for me to continue holding on.

so i let go,
and even though i shouldn't have,
i need to because slowly,
i'm losing myself trying to fix us,
something that never ceased to exist.

even if the fresh intake of newly found air,
burns my nostrils,
harms my lungs,
i welcome it with open arms.

because you no longer strike a meaning worthy for me to hold on.

it scares me to love you,
because everything you love,
always gets old to you,
everything will someday lose its color to you.

like that day when we were outside,
strolling the park side-by-side,
admiring the glories of the cloudy day,
but it began to pour,
and you told me you loved the rain days prior.

you didn't embrace it,
you hurriedly ran the way back home,
dragging me along helplessly.

i arched a brow,
and blew the question out of my lips,
"i thought you loved the rain?"
you let out a raspy chuckle,
shrugging your shoulders as you bent down.

"it got old, the rain's full of bacteria,"
you responded like it was no big ordeal,
heaving as you ran your fingers through your pocket,
in search for your keys.

it hit me then,
falling in love with you,
would just be like loving the rain to you,
it'll get old and it'll be filled with bacteria.

and i thought you loved the rain,
but running from it isn't love,
and i thought i loved you, too,
but this isn't love, is it?

all these jagged imperfections of mine,
why can't you just disappear into thin air,
like my ol' trusty friends,
like my appreciation for life,
like my motivations for myself.

all these jagged imperfections of mine,
why must you stick with me,
through thick and thin,
through rain and snow,
through hail and sleet,
through summer and winter.

all these jagged imperfections of mine,
why must you love me,
more than my friends,
more than my family,
more than my love.

all these jagged imperfections of mine,
why must you show me how cruel life is,
with the sunshine blinding me day and day,
with the rain pounding on my window,
with the endless heartache in my chest.

oh, all these jagged imperfections of mine,
can't you just give me a break,
to breathe the sun's rays,
to stroll through the forest,
to admire nature.

is it a lot to ask for you to go away,
jagged imperfections of mine?

behind the castle walls,
behold a girl who's been hurt,
a girl who's been taunted,
a girl who's been broken into pieces,
a girl who's been tossed aside like nothing,
a girl who's been torn down.

behind the castle walls,
lays a ******* her mattress,
eyes trimmed with water,
as her gaze is fixated on her ceiling.

behind the castle walls,
is a girl who doesn't understand love,
because she's numb to the feeling,
something that stings but no longer pains.

behind the castle walls,
is a girl who's tired,
both emotionally and physically.

behind the castle walls,
is a girl who doesn't want to breathe any longer.
because even the shallowest breath,
burns like flames.