foggy window
shedding pages of November
the deeper down I burrow
you are all I can remember

Dear sweet darling,
if only you knew.

My quandary of our parting,
a testament of my love for you.

Oh, Juliet,
You're out and you're free.

Far greater than adequate,
so far, far from me.

The loss of you,
I cannot bare it.

No longer two,
I cannot share it.

We traveled many tales,
then wrote our own to follow.

Our love prevails,
yet impossible still to swallow.

With you I dreamt to wed,
draped in white, my beloved bride.

Awake, lonely in bed,
I cry and mourn for my delicate dream has died.

For you are my heart's reserve,
praying your years to come bring jubilation.

Of which you deserve,
sincerely yours in my everlasting adoration.

Sincerely, Romeo to Juliet

I hope she likes the same documentaries as you.
I hope she wakes up on time.
I hope she drives you around without getting lost.
I hope she asks about your day more than she tells you about hers.
I hope she is the perfect combination of masculine and feminine.
I hope she is warm with normal temperature regulation.
I hope she's low maintenance.
I hope she's secure in herself.
I hope she watches the news and stays up to date on current events.
I hope she makes you feel safe.
I hope she can talk to you about cryptocurrency.
I hope she's good at ***.
I hope she's buying and not renting and makes wise investment decisions.
I hope she's independent and doesn't get too jealous.
I hope she is a fun plus one and doesn't get socially anxious.
I hope she's easy to please.
I hope she's easy to sleep with.
I hope she's easy to feed.
I hope she likes listening to podcasts in the car and remembers your favorite songs.
I hope she's loud enough to tell her jokes so everyone can hear them and you don't have to repeat them for her.
I hope she can handle her liquor.
I hope she can handle her dairy.
I hope she doesn't move a thousand miles away.
I hope she remembers what you need at the store.
I hope she picks up after herself and washes her hair often.
I hope she has her own hobbies and lets you have yours.
I hope she cooks for you as much as you cook for her.
I hope she listens to your worries and validates your feelings.
I hope she welcomes you to her family and they welcome you with open arms.
I hope she sees you and understands you the way you need.
I hope she allows you to grow without ever holding you back.
I hope she is patient and communicates what she needs.
I hope she too wants to be the best mom one day.

I hope she doesn't take a single day for granted.
And I hope she knows how ridiculously lucky she is to love and be loved by you.

I hope she makes you happy, I do.
My hopeful heart was, is, and always will be with you.

After your last breath, your soul departed,
But for us, our time together was just getting started.

You lived a whole long life in which we were not involved,
And you taught us people are more than a list of symptoms to be solved.

As your mind and heart wrote the book that was your story,
Your body was the binding that held all the glory.

As we say goodbye and close the last chapter,
We want to thank you for your life’s bravery and everything else after.

Moving forward practicing medicine we will pursue,
And we are better equipped now because of you.

I dug a hole so deep
to bury the pain
of the girl with whom I used to sleep
but who am I without her name?

In one door,
out the other.
Longing for more,
as my lover.

Lonely showers,
a silent space.
She took the flowers,
and left the vase.

Lungs longing to breathe you in
Hands aching to feel your skin

Your eyes and mine
Suddenly intertwine

Tippy toes, arms around my neck
My head on your chest

And our souls connect

When you look at me what do you see?
Is it my job to make sure what you see is true?
Or maybe what you see says less about me and more about you.

I told myself I would only put my lips places that made me never want to stop breathing.
Now as I lift this cigarette from between my fingers
I await the day I do.
But until then, I'll spend every waking second thinking of you.

why is it so hard to write what you feel?
perhaps you don't know what you feel
or
perhaps you know exactly
or
perhaps it is impossible to properly depict  
or
feelings are ******* hard to express
perhaps.

for i cannot hate the hurt
it helps me feel
it helps me heal
which helps me write
and to write is to live

if optimism leads
then exhaustion follows

hyped up on euphoria
with unexpected sorrows

and with this still
return all of my tomorrows

speak flowers
breathe honey

inhale positivity
&exhale kindness

plant seeds in lives and watch them blossom

***, drugs, and alcohol got the best of you
and now all that's left is the rest of you

we are all addicts
to something

consuming our every thought and our every need
admittedly or inherently
it's an inevitable choice
which we all regret

for some it is ******
for others it is acceptance
they are fundamentally one in the same
over time they slowly devour our entire existence

these choices are ****** upon us
so what shall consume me?
neurotic behavior? nicotine? romance?
pick your poison carefully

we write because we are told
we write because we are cold

so why write poetry?

is it to obey
is it to simply misbehave
is it due today
is it more than what we say

if not
why do you write poetry?

because I can
&
because I am

we are made to feel
we are made to speak
some people are quiet
and others are bleak

words are expressive and alive
but some words are best left to die

there are no words for that feeling
hurt
beaten
and broken

but these are just words
words are harmless
oh but words destroy

just like you destroyed me

you say you love me
do you?

you say words
don't you?

words are harmless
words destroy

my fragile heart doesn't want another word
from you

not all words destroy
not all words are harmless

but today
your words destroyed
me.

her smile
those eyes
that face

the decor is pretty
and though it may fade

those eyes will infinitely shine from her hazel-green golden soul

every spec of dust and every tick of time
each star, constellation and every moon
sunflowers in golden hour
smiles and bursts of teary laughter
big long hugs and deep kisses
expressing artistic versions of ourselves
discovering profound skill and knowledge within us
loud uplifting music bringing people together
celebrations of joy and peaceful living


this is the closest thing to love He can show us from above

stuck inside my shriveled cocoon
He heals me
my Savior and my moon

He has set me free
He declares 'leave no more days to cry
for today you are made to fly'

wrong wrong wrong
everything i do

i keep singing this happy song
but still feel blue

as the sun kisses her skin
i grow speechless and stupid
blinded by the most beautiful sight
and she smiles because she knows
she knows the paradise i see
lies behind the sun shine in her eyes

what an odd, beautiful nothing
to find a person

who makes you feel like the most significant something

there is a spark in me
welling up inside
a jump in awakeness
a burst of some sort
something special begins to fill my veins
fill my veins with
hope &  light
it's as if i have met the stars and slept on the moon
so surreal
oh how you make me feel

she kissed me pink
and on that same day
I kissed her green
in times of grey

deep inside myself I sink
bad things happen when i think
deep inside myself I crawl
I'm sorry for it all

my body is strong
but my soul is weak
  
so i don't

to escape my demons i escape myself
avoidance is how i cope
ingrained inside
"everything is alright"
behind the laugh
there is a cry refusing to be exposed
I'm coping
I'm coping the only way I know how
to avoid it because I know I am weak and will break

I am scared
and I am sad
but I laugh so i wont cry
smile so i wont die

pen and paper,
paper and pen,
I put this pen to paper
hoping for the demons in my head to waver

watching memories like cinemas
smiling
frowning
laughing
drowning
long lasting until they're over
for moments are sweetest while basking inside them

economy
prosperity
monotony
spontaneity

destruction by decision

put your lips somewhere
that makes you never want to
stop
breathing

watching the last grands of sand fall, nearly empty
trembling with shiny eyes soaked with remorse
as the days which counted down to this moment are gone
oh how precious time is even as we let go of all control
our bodies shake unruly with fear of the terrifying unknown
forced to face it alone.

something good can happen
attempting to believe
something good can happen
while denying all deceit

within a new vicinity
expectations were exceeded
here this bond will surpass infinity
an answered prayer previously pleaded  

something good happened
the day of your birth
something good happened
while discovering your worth

to be with you forever I could
for you are my something good

it's nice to be alone
nobody to hurt, nobody hurts
it's nice to be alone
nobody to compare, nobody compares
it's nice to be alone
nobody to bother, nobody bothers, nobody

She came with a bed time story of a gal who had not a clue
about where to go or what ever to do
she spent her days sulking
upon worries and worries that have been bulking
her dreams uncertain and her mind a clutter
the desires of her heart cannot help but flutter

she's running out of time
someone please tell her being puzzled is no crime
her identity is entirely made from imagination and affection
like everyone else, insecure with her own imperfection
not everybody's cup of tea
everybody's best friend she tries to be
but often lonely
and sick of monotony

She asked who the girl was
I answered, "the girl is me."