Smiling while the Earth breaks around me,
its covered in shadow,
with little light trying to show,
I say to myself, "this should be a new low"
as fire erupts around me, beautiful chaos, like a mind after a line of blow,
but the darkness tries to take,
it tears and my mind it tries to ****,
but a little light tugging at my side,
forcing the darkness to run and hide,
the wind is rich and full of electricity,
my soul along its edges have burned,
I love the fact that I love you, even if it's not returned.

Smiling through the chaos.

At fourteen I swore I knew the world. I swore I've been through everything and anything life has to offer.
A lot more than my age and face told.
But then you came along.
And no body warned me, no body prepared me for that.
The second I laid my eyes on you, I entered an entirely new world.
Perfection.
Bliss.
Love.
I felt as if your mere presence was the plane ticket to paradise, a staircase to heaven.

But everything that goes up must come down.
And we did.
The good vibes and good times were swept up and swallowed by a wave of incompatibility.
I was drowning. You weren't there to help anymore.  

I can't believe the things we've endured.
I can't believe I lost years of my life to such a young boy.
No, not young in age, in which we are the same.
But young in mind and soul.

when youre alone, you reflect on things that you usually never think about.
when you're alone, you just want to get out.
when you're alone, you become crazy, doing crazy stuff.
when you're alone, you wipe away the makeup.
When you're alone, you see the hardships written all over your face.
when youre alone, you cry about being a disgrace.
when you're alone, you smile and fantasize about the happiness in your life.
when you're alone, you unintentionally stare at the razor sharp knife.
when you're alone, you smile and cry.
when you're alone, you wish that either you or someone else would just simply die.
the only problem is that when you're alone,
you're not really alone.
im always there with you,
watching you....