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Silent Zee Nov 2012
I am lost and adrift
               on a sea of endless gloss
                              and the air is rank with putridity.
                                             The fog rolls over and on end,
                              a sleepless infant afflicted by illness,
               and I cannot see where I have come from.

A light shines off and away,
          in a losing battle against the billows
               that engulf me where I float.
                    The boat is easy to rock and sway
               and would be an easy victim of the waves
          were there any to rock it.

The light beckons and weeps, relentlessly,
     her tears lost on me in the mist
          that now coats my entire body.
               I've long since lost my oars
          and there are no waves to speak of,
     *I cannot reach her....

I

can't...
Silent Zee Nov 2012
Waking moments to sleepless slumber,
hours upon hours in between,
you plague my mind with an inescapable essence,

dreamlike in its appearance, always out of reach.
Only in my wildest fantasies do we exist,

You and I as one, as We.
Oh, but should that fantasy come true.
Unfortunately, I could not accept it as fact, as life.

How could I doom you with such a burden, such a curse?
After everything I’ve put you through, you’d be gone and I wouldn’t be surprised.
Until I sleep again, you escape me but
not even the deep leagues of my subconscious could will us to be.
Truth is a hollow victory to attain;

many seek it and few find it.  And as for me,
everyday I wish I could deny it.
Silent Zee Nov 2012
Yea, though I go off to war,
I will not be alone in this fight.
For I know my friends are beside me,
even when concealed in night.

The stories have been passed down,
the wearing of time shown heavy and thick.
The battle marches onwards
with the unholy drumming of snare and stick.
The ears of the innocent deafened
and from all was turned a blind eye.
And no bells were rung nor
salutes raised for they that died.

My body scarred, my mind defeated,
only my soul is left to take.
But I know my friends are beside me,
and together, this journey, we take.
Silent Zee Nov 2012
I'm keeping tally
of the score
between
my thoughts
and myself.

It doesn't really matter
who
gets the point,
I
still lose.
Silent Zee Nov 2012
It was just some day, nothing really different,
Until I saw you walk past me, and go by.
The very and every sight of you brings back emotions,
Tormenting, upsetting, wanting never to die.

I never actually loved you, that I just could not,
So why did your decision affect me so much?
And how can it be that my yearn for your hand,
Has gone to fear of speech, sight, or touch?

It was so long ago, I’d think it no longer matters,
And up to this point, I was doing alright.
This is true if I ignore that my lack of pursuing you
Then caused me to fast, cloud my thoughts, and never sleep at night.

All I ever wanted was a shared affection,
I never meant to embrace anything more.
Just to have this one aspect of life,
That I’ve yet come to adore.

And here I sit, so long and so far
From that time I essentially rid myself of you.
I can see your face, the one I adored,
Even if I once denied that true.

I cannot grasp the pain I now feel
Whenever I see you are near.
And as my soul locks up as it once did,
I ask if it does so from love…or fear?

I thought I knew of heartache,
I thought I had felt it before.
I look you in the eye and then a mystical hand
Rips out my heart and throws it to the floor.

I was always very fond of you,
But I wouldn’t say “in love”.
But I guess the heart just knows reason
That reason knows nothing of…
Silent Zee Nov 2012
When the Shadows begin to disappear,
and Darkness fills, with all its fear,
The blackened Sentries stand their ground,
and keep me safe all around.

But as they too will fade to black,
and no one has my back,
the Darkness comes to get me,
when I cannot see.

And when in its embrace,
this truth I'll face:
there's no god here;
only Fear.

And by the day,
I may
give my last
breath
to Death.
Silent Zee Nov 2012
Like two candles at a romantic dinner,
let us dance forever.
We do not know when
our wicks will end.
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