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jj Mar 2019
Never been better
Than the day i asked you
Not in person or in a letter
But with my special voodoo

You said yes
With love in your eyes
My heart exploded in a mess
I still remember that days sunrise

Awaiting the day
To see you walk the aisle
You said you'd wait for my birthday
I still have the biggest smile

No question in my mind
This is what fate wanted
Our hands intertwined
Never a day feeling daunted
im officially engaged
jj Mar 2019
Begging, pleading, wishing to see another day,
Harder and harder as i start to sway,
Blood rushing to my head,
The demon inside me craves to be fed.

But i won't let it win,
Head up shoulder back key to beating this sin,
I'll battle until my final night,
Because this is my dying fight.

Everyday is something new,
I feel stuck as if in queue,
Tired of the same routine,
Waiting for the day i'm eighteen.

To be free.
To be alive.
To be me.
Stay alive.
fight against yourself all you have to stay alive my friends someone is watching over you.
jj Mar 2019
I'm done living like this,
Depending on substances,
My last sweet bottle kiss,
Not everyone gets second chances.

Tired of disappointing my dad,
Wasting paycheck after paycheck,
Just to feeling anything but bad,
Finally turning around this shipwreck.

Only 8 days sober from alcohol,
74 days clean from harder drugs,
Sometimes it feels like i hit a wall,
But i'm reminded by those hugs.

Reminded why i stopped,
Why i don't need these anymore,
Life's like cherries topped,
I'm not your little *****.

The air smells cleaner,
The clouds aren’t as grey,
I used to be so much meaner,
Glad to be here another day.
i had a really big drug problem and sometimes i crave it but im stronger than this stronger than i know
jj Jan 2019
i did lines
not just of poetry
it’s the thing that binds
me to myself
i've had a few things hidden up my sleeve.
jj Jan 2019
is too romanticized,
it’s not taking a bite,
or skipping a smoke,
it’s relapse and tears,
runs for weeks or running for weeks,
thoughts constantly stirring,
never fully recovered,
never really alone,
jj Jan 2019
I don't keep doing this in hopes i die,
I'm just trying to find a way to survive,
I like the partying and the drugs,
But with you around i might just wear earplugs.
I'm killing my body is what you keep saying,
You say that like i'm just playing,
Everyone knows i'm not living long,
We’ve known i'm not that strong.
So let me do my thing,
Its not like i' m looking for a ring,
I don't need you,
So throw away your tissue.
jj Oct 2018
Everyday seeing you,
Making a dream come true,
I could never get enough,
You acting oh so tough.

Aching to hear your voice,
Awaiting your every choice,
Needing to be near your heart,
You are tearing me apart.

You went from being my drug,
To the reason i chug,
Replacing you with xanny,
Digging you out of every cranny.

With you i was always on a high,
That ended with each goodbye,
Now you’re gone for good,
Just like i knew you would.

Searching for anything to feel,
Having no way to heal,
Going back to the crystal,
Maybe i should just load the pistol.
dont fall in love with a ******----soon youll be one too.
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