I apologize
For all the times
I wring my hands
In worry
And ask you
What I have done
Wrong, with eyes
Reddened and blurry
I seem to lack
The skill to see
The truth from these
Illusions,
Entrammled in
The mire of
My agonized
Delusions.

All things fade
Rain washes away the deeds done
Somewhere on the earth, in the trees
On a winding path, where the fireflies
Like failing Christmas lights flicker.

I am a star in the simple sense
that from afar I look alive and bright,
so I beg you not to come closer
I don't want you to know im dead inside

don't forget that you'll never truly belong to me,
just like how the shore never truly belong to the ocean.

no matter how many times they collide,

they're destined to be apart.

I wish I could rip out my insides.
Rip out my beating heart so he could feel the pain that I feel every time it beats. Or every time it skips when I hear his name and just how I get lost in his presence.
I wish I could tear myself apart only to provide him with more knowledge. To have him understand what I can't even understand myself. I wish I could break my ribbed barrier and give him my life link as a promise of eternal love.
Our blood could intertwine and maybe for once we could be a whole. My last dying breath in a kiss I would give him my soul.
I would tear myself apart just to feel closer to him. I want to give him my undying trust.. But how can I do that when he is the one bruising my beating heart. The one causing my fractures and he ripped the trust out of my throat. And my God it was such a beautiful thing as I was choking.. Just hoping he would understand.
Countless times I would endure the same wounds just so he could learn from them.
That's when I realized I was willing to give my all to someone who would half heartily take me in. When They told me love hurts I was prepared to face the end of the universe to be with him. What I didn't know is that his true feelings were hidden. I was diminishing while he didn't even care to notice. Didn't care to take me in.
When I said I would tear myself apart for you I thought you would've been there to catch every piece.
Instead the pieces would fall into your hands and with lose griping you would just release them.
All I could do was not regret wanting you to keep them.

High atop the spire beneath a cloudless sky
the Cross stands forlorn Christmas is nigh
since long in the past time beyond recall
no bells chime here sung no carol!

But still its heart flutters as it hears the Lord's voice
I carried your burden and set for you the choice
to do this world much good and love your fellow men
be happy in others' happiness take share of their pain!

Kind Lord mutters the Cross men still live for gain
act the way it seems your blood was shed in vain
they war and breed hatred between them raise wall
hanker for pelf and power in their loss they squall!

The church lies abandoned starkly white and bare
only the Cross bows to the Lord in silent prayer
still hoping it's not far away when the bells would ring
the Lord would carry the Cross on his second coming!