I know you sit there
in the dark, thinking
you mean nothing.

But you have been
the only art I’ve made
for months.

You have been
the only light I’ve seen
at the end.

You have been
the only thing I still
wish for.

My teeth gnaw
at the inside of my cheek
out of frantic attempt
to calm my hammering heart.
It’s days like these
where I can feel
a poison coursing
through my being.
No amount of pills
can calm the waters.
No supportive words
can make me optimistic.

I will gnaw and gnaw
my teeth to dust
to grab hold of any
sort of control.

As the decade began, 
I felt a rush go through 
my entire body, 
like how it felt
when we were kids.


You stayed by my side
just so you could be 
the first thing on my mind.

The first time you run
The first time you laugh
The first time you jump
The first time you feel the sea from the shore
The first time you feel your heart soar
The first time you feel your heart break
The first time you’re confused
The first time you know

The first time we touch
The first time my eyes open

There’s nothing 
I want more than 
to see the sunlight
pouring over your face
with a gaze that tells me
you’re the happiest 
you’ve ever been.

I was always just cute
in a way that made me
feel like a child. But 
I’m done with that now.
I want to feel your hands
over every inch of me like
waterfalls. I want us to
love like wild animals. 
I want us to tangle together
so intricately that we don’t 
know where it ends or 
begins. Look at me like
I’m a comet crashing to 
the earth. I want to be the
sun. For you to see everything.
I want you to love me.
I was always just cute,
but you made me feel 
Beautiful.

When I first thought of love,
I thought of all the things people told me.
The rules and regulations.
Everyone that crossed my path
would be looked at through a tiny lens,
and if they moved out of frame,
they were gone for good.

When I first met you,
I didn’t think of anything at all.
The start of a new year,
The scream of the crowd as
the clock struck midnight,
and I was so enamored by you that
I forgot my camera altogether.