“I don’t know what it feels like before the jump, knowing it is the final fall and you could fall no further. There must be comfort in knowing you could fall no further, but I can imagine how hard it must be to find that comfort. To travel the untrodden path and to be just free, feeling nothing else –not belonging to any universe and cut cords from worldly notions. To conceive such thought and keep in your mind involves lot of suffering.”

“Falling is so universal you know, sometimes for a while falling feels like flying. The deeper you fall, joyous the flight is. A perfect universal trap, isn’t it? It looks so easy and obvious. Once we fall, we are absorbed in it to another end like being absorbed by a black hole or being ****** in by a huge amount of vacuum. Well, we all are connected by vacuum. Love, is everything to say –everything we long for or everything we will long for. Sometimes, in my innocent opinion –love is a trap. Trap to fix things, complicate things, ease things, solve things and God knows what not. We are so destined to fall; I wonder sometimes when God plays Cupid and weaves a trap too. When was the last time God fell in love, or fell out of love? I have always believed I can never fall in love, never and that belief never fades away. Sometimes presence of people around me annoys me. Sometimes some people annoy me so much when they talk –I wish I can say, save your mouth from moving. I hate interference in my privacy and personal space. I hate being questioned where am going or why I was late. I don’t like being touched or any gesture to offer comfort. It is all a trap for me. I have always been cold –ice queen is the word for it. I hate insecurity, jealousy, and all such things. I hate closeness, I hate being favorite and I hate favors. I hate being overlooked, I don’t miss people –and am sure, and love is all of these things I hate. Sometimes, I think I don’t need anyone to complete me. I hate birthday celebrations, cake cutting and gifts (unless those are books) and blowing off candles. I believe in randomness and like people who are random and positive. Sometimes, we are so trapped by our emotions and expectations that it destroys the inner peace. Sometimes, asking somebody if they slept well and had food on time is enough to bring them to life, sometimes all this is less to make any difference. Thing is, till we don’t want to be happy –we can’t be. Happiness is a mindset and I chose to be happy in any situation. Even if I am sad, I can manage it. It is like a defense mechanism and it works. I never regret and never will. Am strong and equally week when it comes to family, ‘cause I love my family. ****, this love. You, see what it does. Some or other way we are part of synchronized trap and it goes on. I will always find reasons to be happy and will always feel better when I will see a puppy, a baby, a butterfly, a shooting star, a blooming bud and munching muffins.”

“Mommy, how people beating up each other to death sorts the problem? They say something abusive, they push them back as reply, they punch in face, and they punch in face even harder, they bleed. It is just situation and that is why it happens. Imagine, if same two guys who were beating up each other met at a bar –they would have shared drinks, danced and became friends may be. I don’t understand how much it takes to understand to humankind –there is nothing worth a fight. It’s scary and aching to see people getting into a fight, bleeding and broken. I know one thing; people are not bad at heart. They feel pain and all other emotions. They’re just carried away with situations; they don’t know when to stop. They don’t know when it is too much. They don’t want to listen, don’t want to understand and don’t want to think sometimes –they are out of control. It means a lot in man’s world to sort out things by beating up, teaching a lesson and scaring people, not all –as exceptions are always there. But, how about talking and winning by words? How about correcting and helping each other correct the mistakes? We all are flawed, some are exposed and some are hidden deep. Whenever I see a child I smile; I believe a child shouldn't be scared to grow up. A child shouldn't be scared to know that grownups fight with real guns and they bleed like Caesar’s statue in Calpurnia’s dream when all the Romans bathed their hands in the fountain of Caesar’s blood. I wish grownups fight with toy guns and never bleed in fight. I wish grownups find partners in their enemies they could play with and tease them sticking tongue out. I wish somethings from the childhood didn't change and I wish for a ticket to that world where people cry of laughter than bleeding of fights.”

“Sometimes, we find comfort in summarizing things that are not so good about us. Somethings that you find not so charming and you’re not so proud of, you often hide. But there comes a **** time when you find somebody whom you assume will understand as they possess matching wavelengths and you begin to bare your soul to them. You remove every layer of fake expressions that you wear to protect yourself from getting exposed like you’ve been hiding your real identity. Like you’ve recognized another soul you’d like to cling to and you can bleed as long as you want. How fragile we are, in search of a soul to cling to. We’re never tired of asking, it only seems enough when you lose what you had. We kind of build this vicious circle around us that has center everywhere but we have got no idea of its circumference. How we need some soul to make us feel –things are fine, good is destined to happen. How existence of another soul gives you courage to continue being a decaying organic matter and not give up. How everything else becomes secondary and we find courage again to dream and pursue it. How you’re not scared of heartbreak again. How you begin to heal and how you reflect light and energy. How you get immune to physical pain. But falling is so universal, we can’t live without it. We fall, bleed, have scars, hide ‘em, stumble as if nothing happened, stand again and continue –that’s how we live. Falling is flying for a while –get your wings and fly. Fall and bleed, live!”

“We’ve been making memories like world is gonna fall apart. We nourish sadness as it is our religion. Love, is all we need. We all love to be lost where love is. But sometimes some things come in combination; love comes in a combination of pain. It is not love if it doesn’t hurt you. Madness acts as catalyst. Some things are mortal –love is fundamental of all. It is perpetual bliss, a blessing. What hurts and still feels good is a blessing. To be a part of limitless, intangible, abstract thing is to have something that will echo in eternity. To live is an art, not everyone can do it. Some people spend time making memories. To have courage to bleed for one without anything in return is like having Elixir. You can’t die. When I say you, it doesn’t mean the body –it’s the one in it. Live!”

“I was tired and longed to go home and cover myself with a layer of blanket and fall asleep. I had this longed craving like some of us get mid-night cravings for something sweet. I had a bad day, I wanted to eat something delicious and surprise my taste buds and listen to a nice song and get back to normal. For some time I wished if it hasn't rained –I’d walked my way back home, under the starlit night. It rained that day, and I hate getting wet like am allergic to cold and wet. Sleeplessness occupied me as water occupies a piece of land; island is the word for it. A day never seemed this long, I used to be always busy doing something, if not then planning to do something. Time and I never had a great relationship; we were in on-off kinda relationship. I blamed time multiple times for not being in my favor, and assumed what if there was no time in existence. What if there’s a universe out of my little knowledge that is not ruled by time. I wonder how sometimes small things annoy me –how not finding another pair of socks irritates me, how wind messing up my hair annoys me, how sleeplessness and failed attempts to sleep makes me feel like giving up, how struggling to unwrap a chips packet or candy cover tempts me more to have it, how people not answering phone makes me delete their contact, how waiting kills my patience. I always had a belief that –a good sleep and nice food can comfort much to get back to normal; that belief faded a little though. I wish there was a sandman at my door all the time I wished for nice sleep and had a nightmare.”