Have you ever been in a gruesome exercise that requires you to focus but then you start to think about her and you literally forget to breathe because just by thinking of her she stole your breath away?
Have you ever been in a situation whereby all you want to do is draw a canvas of her uniqueness with words but the moment you begin to write about her its blank? Its like she is worth more than what I can write about her, she's perfect,beautiful, smart, unique, funny and I can't seem to put it down because words aren't enough.
Have you ever been surrounded by thousands of people but without her you seem to be alone and lonely.
Have you been in a situation whereby the world has turned against you and all you want to do is cry but when you think about her all you do is reminisce your moments and all the pain fades?
Well that's where I am right now.
She's countries away from me but each day when I receive a text from her my heart begins to race, my palms become sweaty and I'm immediately nervous because each day all I want to do is impress her,make her smile and laugh because she's worth it.
You know I'm afraid of going to sleep because then I won't be able to talk to her but yet i'm excited because I get to meet her in my dreams.
I'm afraid of waking up because I have to leave her in my dreams but I look forward to the day because I get to spend it all on talking to her.
She makes me happy and honestly its been a long time coming feeling like this.

Please no more insults,
No more judging. You don't know my story so please stop trying to break me, I'm already broken enough and still being broken by myself.
Please no more, I'm already broken enough.
I'm tired of crying, I'm just tired.
Please no more.

I'm sorry, I let you down once again. I've failed myself and my mum, God knows how much I want to make her smile for all she's done for me but I'm sorry.
I've stained your heart and and mind. I've corrupted you and gave you various issues.
Depression, Anxiety and Panic attacks, OCD and ADHD. I'm sorry.
I hope to see you smile one day, I'll fix myself and I'll make you laugh but for now I'm breaking you, I don't know what to break since everything is broken but I'm breaking the broken because I don't know how to pick us up...
I'm sorry for the new tears,
The messed up fears and nightmares.
I just don't know what to do.
I'm sorry I failed you and mum, I swear she needs more of our smile than we do so while you're breaking fake a smile for her, I've disappointed way too much.
I'm sorry.

From: Rea, A pessimistic messed up part of you.

It's the simplest of words that mean a lot. But then simplicity is apart of complexity, So If I'm complex then maybe my apology would mean more.
I'm sorry.
I've been walking around for about two hours looking for a sign, something but all I found was pain, guilt and well me being ashamed of myself.
I'm sorry,
I messed up and I'm sorry.
If all the words in the world could describe who I am then I would gladly take them because right now I feel like, a *****, a *****, a ***,and mostly I feel like ****,
I'm a **** up, a hypocrite I am the worst of myself and I'm sorry.
I never meant to hurt you, all I wanted to do was make you smile.
Make you see the best side of this world but I ****** up... So I guess I'm just like them a pretentious **** up...
I'm really sorry. I pray to God that things will be okay.
I'm sorry.
I only want you happy, I swear to God that's all I want, even if it means my happiness at stake then for you anything.

We come from two different worlds yet we're close.
We're like parallel lines.
We are equidistant from one another and we'll never meet, but for some reason we're headed in the same direction.

Why can't we be perpendicular lines?
Why can't we meet and create a 90 degree angle?
Is it fates way of saying we can never meet?

The mathematical theory can always be related with the psychological one when it comes to relationships or our own issues with ourselves.
We can never be because we're not meant to meet.
We're headed in the same direction but the space in between is two negative magnets keeping us at a distance, hence we fight to be close only to be pushing ourselves further away but always equidistant one another till we eventually agree.
We are parallel lines.

However what we refused to wait on is the second Mathematical theory on Parallel and Perpendicular line.
We can somewhat change a parallel line to a perpendicular one just by rotating a line 90 degrees. This in a psychological manner means that no matter how pessimistic a relationship feels, how depressed we are, how alone we feel, with one change we can create a 90 degree angle of happiness.

"Forever?"
No, not forever,
"Why not?"
I'm a player right? I've made way too many forever promises and look at me now.
"Why?"

'Mum and Dad promised me forever, My bestfriend promised me forever, my first Love promised me forever but they stepped on the words as if they don't exists, They ****** with my heart and literally laughed in my face.I'm too disturbed for forever or commitment, I'm just playing the game, No Love no nothing just some sweet talk, Psychological games and I *******' He thought to himself.

'Eh I don't know pretty lady you seem different'. He smiles.

'I'm lying to you, I'm just bored of using the same ol lines' he thinks to himself.

"So we'll last" She said with so much hope in her eyes.
'Yea you changed me, I want to be with you only'. He smiles.

Another lie bites the dust.

We're not meant to hate. I'm sorry but its true, no matter how much we say we hate someone deep down we know we're lying to ourselves.

You know how Love is the best feeling in the world. Don't you think hate is the alternative to when you're broken or something? Because with Love comes butterflies in our tummies, smiles in our faces, happiness and well thoughts of those you love. So with hate comes furry in our tummies, anger in our hearts, pain and memories of those who hurt us.

So does this mean we hate to remember those we love?
Because we don't really want to forget them?
Eh I think the heat is getting to me over here.

"Do you miss me?"

Yea I do.

"Really? What about?"

Everything. I even miss parts of me that left when you did. I miss my smile, I only gave it to you. Its gone now. But I miss everything.My heart aches but Its content. My thoughts on you are bittersweet, my feelings for is basically an oxymoron.

"I miss you too, I'm sorry for hurting you, I didn't mean to commit suicide okay scratch that I didn't mean to do it in your face. I Love you okay?"

Okay. Night Emily, Rest in peace buddy. Tom misses you, he's messy but I'm with him, we'll survive, God's with us, as we say In Setswana Ke a go rata, A modimo a nne le wena.

Got a pen and paper and all I want to do is write.
Block everything from me and just write but I can't.
Guilt overwhelms me as I try to ink the paper, mark it as mine but I can't.

I never meant to abandon you I swear I didn't.
He told me I wasn't serious enough about you, that I didn't deserve you.
He didn't see how much you meant to me... Since I was small I pictured you as my future. We were meant to be inseparable.
We were supposed to be infinite.
But he said I didn't deserve you and I believed him.
But I can't help but itch to run back to you each time I have a pen and paper.
But his words echoed in my heart.
I left you, and I'm sorry, I miss you. I'm not using poetry as an alternative.
Its just he can't judge here and take it away from me.
I miss you. I miss drawing. You were my life, you still are, I just draw you with words now.

He said I wasn't good enough, that it was an unrequited love, I believed him. I'm sorry.

Someone once said standing under the rain it feels as if someone is washing your problems away.
Each tiny droplet cascading down your way holding tight to your body wiping each tears away.

Then why don't I feel that?
Each droplet brings me down making everything around me heavy.
Tears are added making me feel as if I've got a whole more to carry.
Each drop is like a tap on the shoulder only to turn to realise I'm alone.
The thunderstorm to worsen to bring about the feeling of loneliness.
The golden lighting to entice fear.
And the worse part is after everything else I'm probably going to get flu.
Leaving me to wallow on my own with no way of running away.

Just by reading your words I immediately feel the pain you're going through.
Its probably empathy but I'd like to believe its more than that.
The pattern of your words synchronize with your pain, tears and sweat to create a beauty of words.
Your pain is painful but surely beautiful to me...
I'm sorry for your pain.
I'm a stranger but I would give a thousand bits of my happiness to make you smile because the person that hurt you is an *******.
Go ahead and tell them a random writer said that and if they try something just tell them my eyes change colour in the morning and night, surely that'll scare them.
You're an amazing person and I bet you that one day all this pain will be worth it.
But in the meantime can I just say you're awesometastic.

Thank you to the writers.
You somehow manage to portray a feeling that I a reader cannot put out there, you seem to understand what I am going through let it be pain, love, happiness, you understand me... Thank you for making me feel safe with your words. For making me feel as if I am not the only one.

To the readers.
Thank you for taking your time to listen to our words, to feel our emotions and being there for us just by reading our vulnerability. You accept us for what we really are.

To those who made a huge impact.
Thank you for the pain, the love and the chaos, Its been the best experience that has given us such motivation to keep writing and inspiration to those who needed someone to talk on their behalf.

To poetry.
Thank you for being my escape from reality, God knows how much I need it. Thank you for being more than just art but a way of Life. Thank you

I want to use all the alterations, Personifications in the world to impress you.
I want to drive you insane with the oxymorons, the metaphors and the similes.
I want to use coliqual words so that I can make you think I'm extremely smart.
When really in reality I'm just average.
I want to use euphemism and lititoes to really make you think I'm that good with words.
When really in reality I have writers block yet I want to capture your attention.
I want to write an iambic tetrameter with the rhyme scheme ABAB so that you notice some part of me in my writing.
I want my words to ****** with your mind so that some part of you thinks about me...
But I have writers block, There's not much I can do to grab your attention.

It was a nice summer's evening. Taking a stroll with my dearest friend.
Laughing and remembering the days.
Back when we were the three muskateers.
Before the world unleashed our greatest fears.
He held his breath allowing the memories to invade.
I swallowed the lump in my throat as the tears threatened.
"Where did we go wrong with her", He whispered.  "Where!", His voice broke.
I Held his hand and laid us down.
The grass overwhelming us as it wrapped itself around us. I turned to look at him, his lifeless hazel eyes showed nothing but a dark pit of pain. "Where did we go wrong Rea? Her lifeless body is burned in my memory, the sounds have stained my ears, Why am I still here, why are we still here?", He cried.
I fondled with my hair and cried, "I don't know what we did wrong. I don't even know why we're still here", my voice broke.

The truth is I never loved you the way you loved me...
It just happened that I cared more. But its okay go ahead and break my heart.
I honestly wouldn't have had it either way.

Round 1:
MIND " You can't be doing this to me again. Falling for another person, a person who's not worth it. You may think the heart has healed but I swear every inch of this Body Hasn't, I'm tired of these tears of the cries really its ******* me over, I don't have the strength to numb your heart once you decide to do this again, for once follow me, please"

THE HEART
" No matter what happens if you follow the mind you'll be hurting knowing they aren't yours and they could never be"

Round 2:
Mind: "Allow me to remind you of what last happened. At night you cried yourself to sleep or drugged yourself. You woke up and your surroundings were dark. You slacked off your studies and resorted to drink your **** away. Remember when mummy first caught you? Remember the look of pain and fear that she gave you? You became what haunted her most nights."

Heart: "I'm sorry. I'm hurting you but what can I do? If I push these emotions away then I'm just hurting you more. I don't know what you want me to do"

Round 3
Mind: "I'm done fighting. What the heart wants is what it gets. I'm tired and still in shock from the last event. What makes you so sure we'll survive the next one?"

Heart: " Life consists of pain. Can we just enjoy the sweet moment before they turn sour?"

Conclusion:...

I saw him drowning in tears,
Crying out that his fears exist.
Curled up in a corner rocking himself back and forth.

"What did she do to you", I frowned.

'She broke my heart and still I Love her. Does that make me weird? My heart aches for her, My body cries to hold her in my arms, to do something or watch her smile. I miss her green blue eyes that would pierce through me. I miss her exceptional smile and the sound of her laugh. She's a monster, A very Beautiful monster. I need her. She's the cause of all this pain. I can't seem to forget her, I want to hate her but the more I try the more I fall in love with her'

He stops and starts rocking himself back and forth singing.
"Twinkle twinkle little star"
"How I wonder what you are"
"up above the world so high"
"She made me fall from cloud nine".

Another friend lost to an asylum.
When Am I next?

I don't care if I'm falling.
I don't care If I'm drowning.
I don't care if all the pain in the world resides in me...
As long as I have you I don't care.

Truth is ever since you left I've never been more broken.
I've never been so lost.
I swear I can't smile anymore.

Its my fault right?
I begged to feel something to mourn over all the people I lost this year.
All the people that broke me this year. I begged the tears to come out but they didn't listen.
So in the process I lost you the following day.
The tears refuse to stop.
My heart refuses to break.
Each day I swear I hear it crack.

Its my fault...
I miss you.
Please come back.
Please.
RIP

Freedom Of Speech..
The right to live...
The right to love...
The right to something far much greater than happiness because we're all human we deserve that.

But how do we grant that if we are judgmental?
When we perceive those who don't think like us to be  mental?

Freedom. Does it exist?
When she isn't allowed to love her because it is a sin?
When he cannot hold him because it is disgusting?
Where's the freedom in that when they aren't allowed to to love in peace?

Where is it?!
Where is it when she's pressured into self harm?
When he is hated for being dyslexic.
When we're caged in a cell to please them, left in a dark corner to die praying to God hoping for the best when they **** our heads saying we're the worst imperfection.
Just because I got a little OCD?
Just because we see the world differently?

Freedom to choose any religion.
So he follows that trusting in Allah but gets daggers and guns pointed to him simply because he believes in another god.

Where's the freedom in that?
Right to Freedom...
Now that's just an oxymoron.

'Love life live a little **** it and take a risk'

As much as I'd want to put myself out there.
Giving the world my heart and whatever it is I have to.
I can't...
A broken, ****** up heart isn't enough for me to give the world.

Rejection stabbed right through me, missing my heart until I decided to **** it!
Then it pieced through. Leaving pieces of an unwanted heart and a shattered mind.

I never want to give anyone my all.
Because for some reason Rejection prevails leading to heartbreak.

We danced all night,
Moving our bodies with the beat,
Your warm body radiating into mine as you touched me,
Your warm breath on my neck sending chills down my spine...
I don't know what you did to me but I was up in cloud 9.

Each touch, Each smile, Each laugh, everything we did last night was perfect.

'I never meant to hurt you'

The last words that echoed from her letter.

'I Love you'

Her words lingered in my mind.

'Bang Bang!'

The sound stained my heart.

Send me your suicidal letter and lead me to self harm.

But to commit the crime infront of me, lead me to an asylum

I read a book last night.
About a girl named Rhea,
Who put up a great fight.
But she lost either way.
And then I thought to myself.

"Wow her name is my name just that she has an H and I don't, but her name is my name.
Our personalities are the same.
Her pain was mine just that hers was more defined.
Entangled with horrendous secrets.
Its like our pain was intertwined"

I thought so much about this fictional character. She made me cry and then further broke my heart.
It then hit me.

"That girl is me"

You got me power tripping.
Mind switching.
In a phase.
Lost in a maze.
My hearts a haze.
Woop!

You got my heart drowning.
Lips frowning.
Mind pounding.
Woop!

You left me in a world caught.
star struck, I'm in love punk.
I felt like I just hit a slam dunk.
Till I saw you with them, then my heart sunk.

****...
I thought I hit it real good tonight.
Thought what we had was beyond right.
I guess I was wrong, I lost the fight.
I got to walk away this ain't a good sight.  
This is real pain, I can't see the light.

I can't believe this.
Loving you was my greatest habit.
My hearts clenched, goddamit!
I lost my rabbit.

If I text you I may miss you a little less cos **** I can't concentrate. And I'm not being moderate or cheesy. I'm being completely honest. You've corrupted every single thought in my mind to just you... Before I sleep you're what I think about and when I wake up, your face pops up in my mind. After studying, my mind quickly disperses searching for memories that we share. I feel the need to hear your voice, your laugher and most importantly see your smile. I can't help but count the days I have till I see you right now its 7 days, a week from now I get to see you, to hold you in my arms. I hate having feelings like these towards someone because I don't know how to handle them and with you around Its not like I can contain them properly. You hear me use words such as 'I  Love you' and 'you're awesome' and I bet you think that's what friends say  its no big deal although it seems like that to me its much more than that. Its more of a commitment. You're amazing to my heart and soul and I guess you should know that.

The girl I want to save is a danger to my emotions.
She has me going crazy causing commotions.
She has my mind creating fireworks that turn to sour explosions.
She has my heart on the edge, On the very verge of giving up on her.
Someone Please rescue Her.

I wonder how she lost Her sanity,vanity and serenity.
Leading her to darkness that's causing her insanity.
I try to tell her to wake up that this numbness ain't right,
But apparently I ain't living in the real world, That I ain't facing reality.
Someone please rescue Her.

She shut me out like a soccer player denied of a goal.
Transfer window's closed, I can't negation I lost her poor soul.
All I can do is pray for her.
Its not much but Its something.
If possible someone Please rescue Her.

I've failed her,
Like a math test I cannot prevail.
I Lost her and she lost herself.
Dear God please rescue Her.
You're all she has

I'm not a great writer.
I can't entice your mind like Dan Brown.
But I can dress up like a clown.

I'm not a great writer.
I can't arouse your mind like E.L James.
But I swear I got fifty shades of video games.

I can't write Love poems like Thomas Hardy.
I do have the books by the Hardy brothers though.

I can't write like Shakespeare or Milay Edna.
I can't even write inspiration like Maya Angeliou.

I can't write like any of them.
I guess its because I'm not them.
But what I can do is tell the truth.

I Love you...
From the Start,
You took my heart.
You became my shining star.
Who ate my favourite chocolate bar.
You're my teddy bear.
You drive me insane I can't help but stare.
I Love you...
I don't believe in forever.
Or that we'll always be together.
But I Love you...
Till the very end of me.
I Love you till infinity and Beyond!

Dear Mother.

I am sorry.
I'm sorry I'm not the daughter you've always wanted.
I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted.

I apologise for my anxiety and panic attacks.
I'm sorry for my depression.

I apologise for being a weird Depressed child.
I mean normally we'd inflict pain on our wrists but then I did that to my legs.

I'm sorry...
I wish I was that perfect child.
The one with no issues.

Dear Mother...
I promise I'll try harder.
I'll wipe these tears away.
I'll hide the scars.
And Always I'll put on the mask of a perfect daughter.

A little kid caught me one night looking at the stars. She asked kindly, "Miss, Why are you always looking at the stars? I get that its pretty but don't you think that's a little too much?".
I chuckled and played with my hair, " Well kid, I guess its because the stars give me some sort of faith. I mean I look at them cos they remind me that in the darkest time there's always that one star shining. And trust me little girl, I come across them a lot. It actually feels good knowing someone cares and well is watching me." Her expression changed, I just smiled and walked away.

Panic attack
They told me to calm down.
Told me relax and breathe.
But how does one do that?

Panic attack.
Watch my blood flow.
Carrying the pain that exists.
Watch it run down my throat.

Panic attack.
The red colour overwhelms me.
It carries the colour coded pain we both had.
Trust me to believe the pain flows away.

Panic attack.
They told me to breathe.
But how does one do that when it suffocates.
When the grievances overwhelms me?
When my pain belongs to their happiness.

Panic attack.
Stop asking me to breathe and relax.
My mind is messed up to listen.
My entire body is tired of those words.
I'm surrounded by my horrid past.
Please stop asking me to relax.

Panic attack.
They watched the pain consume me.
They watched my entire self collapse.
They cautiously prayed for my relapse.

Panic attack.

Wisdom. He said.
Probably the statement itself is weirded out.
Wired into something so estranged.
Something so strange.
Wisdom He said.
Think about it she persisted.
Think about it he insisted.
Wisdom

I'm telling the world.
The truth at last.
I'm done with its games.
You hear me James?

Finally...
The truth is to be revealed.
Our hearts will finally be healed.
And most importantly our minds relieved.

I'm telling the World.
The truth still exists.
I just need you to believe.
I need you to forgive.

The curse is no more.
Afterlife is existent.
Afterlife is exultation.
Its beyond your mere expectation.
Its beyond our wildest imagination.

Trust me when I say.
Trust thee.
For he has done it.
So wonderfully.
So mercifully.

Trust me when I say.i'm
Glory.
Finally this is no story
But merely a reality.
Nothing can hold us down. Not even gravity.

The kingdom has come.
The curse has fallen.
Eden is still here.
Eden has come back.

Dear stranger help me.
Help me to understand because I am confused.
I'm not used to this so please intrude.
Please explain to me. Be the last to conclude these feelings.
I know we just met but **** it stranger, I feel I could tell you anything.

Dear stranger what have you done?
I can't handle these feelings on my own.
I must confess.
These feelings cause me a grave distress.
These feelings have me a mess.

Dear stranger.
I am nothing but a sucker for you...

I wish it was simple. That these feelings would disappear.
But each time I see your face the feelings reappear.
I wonder how you did it, managed to erase me like that.
Please teach me how, I need to forget you.
My heart beats non faster than it did when I'd see you.
Shows that I still care even when you're not here.
I thought losing you was my greatest fear.
But I guess admitting it has to be my worst.
Your smile used to put me in sanity.
But now its causing me insanity.
I miss you so much it hurts.
I miss everything about you, including your perks.
Do you miss me? Do you care or am I just another memory.
To you like the subject I favour I must be History.
But then you don't want to learn more, I'm no mystery.
I see you out there smiling away in search of new discoveries.
You don't see me here, crying the pain away learning to recover.
I see you out there, laughing with your new friends exploring.
And Here I am... Thinking of you.
I'm fighting these emotions, blocking each and every one of them out.
But I can't anymore I've run out of ammunition.
I guess all I can do is watch you head on to a new destination.
I guess that's all I can do.

Her heart conflicted in pain
All her thoughts are suddenly in vain.
Popped up on drugs injections in her vein.
Getting high as ****.
She needs more distractions life's tough.
Waking up with a hangover.
Mum lost hope in her. Its over.
She needs more distractions.
Cuts herself and gets high on pain.
Looking at this world with disgust.
It used to be beautiful.
Dear God forgive her.
She can't shed tears anymore.
She doesn't have fears anymore. Not since her death.
She needs to forget this. She needs a distraction.
Play around with people's thoughts and emotions. She's finally mastered the laws of attraction.
Its not enough she needs more.
Time for her to get high and wasted.
Time for her to lose control and get faded.

Mission aborted.
Vision distorted.
Faith restored. As I leave it all up to God.
I put my life on pause.
I'm doing it for a good cause... And also for my selfish reasons.
Days pass.
Weeks pass.
Months pass.
Seasons pass.
I don't know whats happening but I get it.
You found love and you want to explore it with him I get it.
I'm not the clingy type so Imma leave you two alone.
Leave you two to explore love and just get along.
As your bestie I'm asking for you to be safe.
Remember he's a guy. Her craves.
Mission aborted.
Vision distorted.
Dreams shattered.
She's battered.
I told her to be safe cos her safety mattered.
Knocks once, Knocks twice. I open the door.
Her eyes... Red.
Her cheeks... Hot pink
Deep breath... Okay Shosho think.
Shosho look down.
Shosho look at her tummy.
Shosho look now.
Oh snap your bestie is a mummy!

Heavy Heavy Heavy.
Breathe kid, take it steady.
Don't rush the pain, you're not ready.

"It hurts like hell though,
It consumes my breathing and kills my thinking.
It called out my demons."

Heavy Heavy Heavy
Breathe kid, take it steady.
Be strong, **** it in, become a lady.
Don't let it consume you...
Not now.

" I can't bear but let it destroy me.
My mind departed.
My thoughts are separated.
I can't help but burn.
I'm tormented, brought down by myself."

Heavy Heavy Heavy.
Breathe kid, take it steady.

Tangible forces.
Inevitable feels.
Hear the story.
Of a great legend.
Of our dear friend.
Robert Wild.

He went into a dream, a comatose of his dreams.
He met a woman, her name unknown.
But he met her still. Their eyes locked.
His mind popped.
His Heart stopped.
He realised he was caught.

She looked to him and saw a smile.
She smirked and but her lower lip,
His eyes wide open, his heart skipped.
His mind went ballistic as his lips dipped.
She stopped and winked, finally moved closer to whisper.
Her voice deeper, her breath warm.
Her touch soft.
He tensed up and opened his mouth.
He was shocked, she just smirked.
Until she...

Boom.
Tangible forces.
Inevitable feels.
Unfortunately our Robert Wild.
Woke up.

Life and its definitions.
Life and its superstitions.
Our lies and our faults.
Stuck in a vault of time.
Wondering when's the right time to die. I don't know maybe.
All I know is its going to happen.
Pain. I live for that.
Happiness I'd die for that.
But its all an act and that's a fact but I'll try to stay intact.
Dreams of broken butterflies hurt myself and hope to die.
Only these four walls can hear my pain they understand.
They hear the sorrows of a lost child who's lost hope.
A child who can't live with this anymore. I can no longer cope.
The pleasures of giving up, the pleasures of death runs through my veins.
They ask if I'm alright but what use is my response if its in vain.
Breathless... lost... I can't compete... I retreat.

I've created a barrier of lies.
I thought they'd comfort me or at least put me in sane.
I guess I was wrong. Again you could say.
I hurt the heart and tempered with the mind.
Perhaps... Just maybe I thought wrong about things.
Just maybe I'd messed myself.
I've created a barrier... And I see no green light.

Time flies.
When she cries.
It never really made sense but I understood.
She needed someone to be there for her so I stayed.
The watery paths of pain I need to take with her.
The thoughts of words cut right through my heart. But I stayed because she needed it...
I don't believe in much but the little I have is much to be there for. I'm on a trail down searching for happiness.
But for now lets put it all on hold and search for hers.
She needs to find her very own known path, a way where I cannot destroy it for  her. I'm just a bounty hunter helping her find Him.
I'm not meant to stay unless I'm told to do so.
I need to slow this journey.