sometimes I think
if I can't have it all then
let me go back
but back so far nothing can hurt
right off the plane of existence

once more- the chemicals in my brain- have dilapidated my sane

I've coughed up enough phlegm in my life to fill oceans
pale blood-less skin lies below my melanin
the tantalizing desire- to rip limb from limb
anyone who questions the spare shreds of my power
has a strong grip on me- and holds me stagnant
through the tsunamis of emotions that
threaten to subdue me to that of submission
the cold manner I've been treated with has scarred my skin
all the poisons I've swallowed has made me venomous

its 4am- and I can't sleep
to be honest- nothing feels real
my brain's erasing my serotonin
I'm drowning in chemical imbalances
don't even want to reach out
where do I reach out
at this hour- in this crisis- how can I
get my life back
I want to be held
by someone who wants me
yet who ******* wants me
I don't want me
just hold me close- till I can't breathe