You don't suffer
from depression
until you let it change you

There is no battle to fight
unless you let the enemy in

Nothing is lost
if you hold on

After all
this is your life
you call the shots
call 'em right

your words
can set the world on fire
your words
make the sun shine brighter
your words
turn the ocean bluer
your words
water a dry heart
your words
make flowers grow
your words
bring hope.
your words
inspire.
your words
matter.

You smell like grade six

The grade I hated the most.
The year that tarnished my simpleness.
The year I asked all the wrong questions,
      and got all the right answers.

The year of lies and fake friends.
The year I thought would be the best for me,
      but turned out so wrong.
The year the darkness started.

Man, you remind me of grade six
    in more ways than one.
Thankfully that year is history
   and I've long since graduated.
Graduated to something much better

I want you to text me drunk
want you to admit you still love me
want you to say my name
to say please
to say I'm sorry
to be you again

I want you to tell me about those nights
the ones when I would've settled for anyone
when I grabbed your hand
I want you to tell me how you remember it
want to hear you say how safe you felt
how right everything was
want to look into your eyes
because I could never bring myself to then

I want you to need me
to love me
to hurt me
to tell me you hate me
want you to want me until it hurts
until your heart explodes
until you start kicking yourself ******
because you know I will try to fix you
want you to be empty
to be sad
to be angry
to be forgotten
I want to be there
to be thoughts
to be longing
to be lust
to be dark living room
to be eighth beer
to be cigarette break
to be last time
to be last time
to be last time
to be I swear to god this is the last time

I want to destroy you from the inside out
want to be worse for you than the ******* in your veins
want to fill your lungs like tar
to burn your throat when you cough up my name
want your eyes to sting
your head to pulse the next morning like my heartbeat
your tongue to taste like mine

I want to be unhealthy
want to be bad habit
to be addiction
to be two weeks sober
to be relapse
to be six months sober
to be relapse
want you to come back
to crawl back
to beg
to cry
want you to feel every place I've ever touched you

I want you to realize what love is
want you to stop using the word lightly
want to get my heart's worth
want you to know what you signed up for
want you to understand what loving me means

Love letters are just pretty lies and wishful thinking.

2. There's a difference between loving a person and loving the attention they give you.

3. Hearts are resilient