Bethanie,
She is an ocean
Deep, enchantingly blue and a whirlwind of waves.
A sea of vibrant coral to mimic the Autumn sunsets of summer she brightens your day
    - she is, the gush of salted air on a Saturday morning overlooking the horizon you see her in the colours of the waking sky, swirling and dancing in unison to the delicate crash of each wave she laps at your soul, a touch so delicate it resembles petals.

She is a rose,
Beautiful beyond metaphors and an elegant puzzle that would take a lifetime to figure out. Her kindness is enveloped in her pure actions, twisted like the vines of nature she changes in the alternating light that illuminates her laugh to trickle through life, healing even the deepest wounds.

She is a friend,
One so sincere and true in her own voice. A blessing in my life.

" write a compassionate poem to describe him "
What word could deserve your definition?
Perfection is unworthy
Gracious, is it truly?

Rough hands so carelessly comforting
Eyes deeply embedded in a trance
A laugh so warm, to mimic the flames
But you are my fire
My every desire

The dim light that catches every essence of his soul between the sheets
A gentle touch that lingers on my collar bones
His kiss resembles the stars , and the way they danced in the moonlight last night
His arms wrapped around me and his messy hair pressed against my forehead - I couldn't be happier
The love that entwines itself like his rough hands that hold mine
Between the messed up sheets and breathless kisses - I've never been more in love with the beauty that is him.

I write  poems for people endowing love,
It would be comforting to receive one instead, for a change

I'm told that heaven is a city made of gold , with pearly gates and a brilliant light ,  it I could care less if it's crystal clear or blanketed with fog , I just hope that heaven is a place where I can kiss your soul , capture a clip of that radiant smile and play it back in my mind forever

He didn’t fall in love
With the pink scars
That line my fingers,
Or the mascara tears
That stain my pillowcase.
He didn’t kiss me to
Take away the pain,
Or hold my hand
To carry me through
The suffocation of sorrow.
He didn’t love me for
My broken soul.
But he didn’t fall in love
With my smile either.
Or the laughter that
Sometimes bubbled
Out through my belly.
He didn’t kiss my dimples
To consume my joy
Or pet my hair to
Comfort me.
He didn’t love me for
My pretty face.
He fell in love with me.
Not just part of me,
But all of me.
He loves me when
I’m angry and sad
And jealous and petty
And selfish and immature.
And he loves me when
I’m happy and smiling
And joyful and obnoxious
And hyper and thoughtful.
Not once has he ever
Asked for his sweet girlfriend back.
Or his happy girlfriend
Or the girl he fell in love with.
Because all of them are me.
And I love all of him as well.

You Saved Me
I hear the echoes of my fears
Tearing at the seams As my own new dawn starts to appear, Emerging from my dreams.
You shook of my nightmares.
I feel a light shine overhead
And am saved when all felt lost.
A heart so broken isn’t dead,
Even if buried under frost.
You came for me in blackest night
Just to hold my hand,
And I realized that this love was right;
I began to feel again.
You taught me to stick up a fight
Where true love is achieved,
And when my hope was out of sight,
You’re the one who made me believe.
And now I realize why I'm whole:
You managed to relieve
The stress of my heart and storms in my soul;
You’re the life I forgot to breathe

If he asked for anything
He would get it
If he wanted the stars ,
I would steal him the sky and lay it gently at his feet
If he wanted the moon
I would ****** it from the night
And place it gently in his rough , scarred hands
If he wanted me ,
I would lay myself next to him
And listen to his heartbeat
As I fall
Deeper
And deeper
In love with him

It is both beautiful and haunting
To open up to someone so daunting
When life has been a swirl of blades and forgotten days
To take comfort in a stranger not so strange.

Love is love.
There is no definition to say you ' cannot be this way ' if you love a man or a woman or both or none at all - whoever you embed your heart within  has nothing to do with anyone but you.
Love is love.
Fall for the sunset in her eyes and the laugh she has on autumn evenings, find a world within her soft skin.
Love is love.
Choose his comfort, the way your frail frame mirrors in his body and like a portrait; you're a work of art.
Love is love.
Dance in the compassion of both genders and be a stream of a purple in a world of blue and pink  paint.

Love is love, regardless.

But where do I go when I've lost hope?
When desolation hugs me
a soul so shattered
                                  You cant breathe

Live or die?
Both are just a lie to comfort us
But who will you be when all we really are is just
             *dust

you
I'm good with words and creating metaphors on pages that seem to capture my emotions
    but then I met you
and a mere simple sentence or simile cannot compare to you
   I've always been great at guarding my heart and never going too far, but for you I opened my rib cage to reveal my most inner insecurities and unmasked my soul to find comfort in your emerald eyes.
Looking at you I see a home within a person.

If loving is breathing I would take you in with every delicate sigh

The curves of our lips meet and it's like kissing the earth as you colour my mind with beauty, for nothing could be more passionate nor more perfect than losing myself in you.

You are art in the purest form for you make me feel something real.

Mirrors are just glass
And my dear ,
You are so much more than that.

Never break a poets heart, she'll turn her sadness into art.
Dust and ashes you tore me apart.
Gave you my soul and you sealed my scars, I thought I'd let down my guard.
Broken to see you didn't love the real me, drunk in jealousy.
Fought for you but now I'm through - tears that burn, a lesson to learn.     You're nothing but a memory don't you see you're better off without me.
Depression returns, it earns to take control over my shattered soul.
Tight breathing I've lost feeling, no more concealing.
Twinge, torture of a familiar blade to no longer remember your name, a waste of talent written in a book but taken by a hook ... And a rope, to tie around a throat - pull.
Breathe - breath - death.

You tell me I'm perfect
But just wait and you'll see
Perfection is not something
That people think about me
I go home and I'm a mess
I cry and I stress
You think I'm the one
But you're the moon
And I'm the sun
You love yellow , obviously
You're happy
I just don't want you to become sad
Because of *me

' if you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph '
*that explains why he never took pictures of me

Your perfection never faults, it may change but never dies.
Just like the trees leaves fall in winter and the loveliness alters, it still remains beautiful.

I always thought that you were perfect
Until you took your jacket off ,
And the sun broke through the window
And highlighted every scar on your beautiful arms.
That was the day that I realised
- you are perfect for **me

I was clean for a couple months, I'm not really sure how long, I stopped counting on things a while ago.
I'm not talking about drinking, *** or drugs, as i continue to indulge myself in those pleasures, but to a limit. I've never been one to lose myself at the bottom of a beer glass, or let ***** slink down my throat, although I do enjoy the feeling of warmth on my skin, it's soothing, for a change.
Alcohol is a reminder of him, No not a  break up or lost lover, I  wish it was as painless as that. It is more about abuse. The emotional and physical torture of him, how he laughed as his words slurred almost as quickly as my life faded and self harm became a sinister escape from this dooming thing we call, reality.
I thought I was okay. The doctors said I was, that's why they let me leave on the condition of pills but I felt useless having to rely on a smile in a bottle to make me feel, nothing, because I felt too much, at least that's what the nurses said. They wanted me to feel numb, so I did. I let the colour from my paintings disappear with salty tears and the dance in my soul snap,
I became grey in a black and white world, I didn't belong in.
So I stopped taking them and maybe that was the critical error in this sequence, but it felt so good to breathe for once. I could feel crisp air in my blackening lungs and as oxygen seeped it's way through my wilting body, I began to grow petals.
Only I'm not a flower nor a beauty, quite frankly I see myself as the opposite. I'm more like the watering can that feeds my friends and those around me, I guess I cut pieces of me apart in order to give it to others but that's what feeling alone does to you.

It's taken six years and a lifetime of strength to battle these demons that use my happiness to feed on. I pushed away the feelings of before, I tried to ignore, but I failed. I was told to reach out to someone before I let the blades touch me so I tried but I was ignored. Acid tears fell from my dimming blue eyes and without hesitation blades returned and ripped my pale skin, pale in colour and life. I'm told I see beauty in everyone, but never in myself and perhaps that's why the Crimson red looked beautiful on my canvas because there was colour on me. I felt alone and the shiver to my bones but I was found.
Perhaps it's a sign that I should try this living thing, one more time.

who are you to say that I can't be this way?
And why should I be classified as unidentified because I don't " fit in " in society's definition.

Sexuality wasn't a choice I made I didn't suddenly wake up and decide to make up my mind on loving both genders, but now I try my best not to surrender, on your idea of how love should be painted
   However I may come across as strong, but your words still burn like the razors that once lapped against my frigid skin, and sweetheart I still sin.

For I am in a body that controls my whole life and it's not okay to pull me aside and tell me what you think is wrong and what's right.

You don't get to judge me for if the watchful eye of the moon still shines for my damaged soul each night, then why should I let go of this fight, for acceptance.

He walked in the room, pale written on his face
When did it get to this pace?
She sits with oceans upon her cheeks,
His knees go weak.
The sentences of red stains on her bed.

He grabs her wrists and screams when did it get like this?
Scars caress her emptiness and he knew now her pain from past days

She screams nothing ever goes my way!
Let me be your strength, the blanket of compassion you won't be alone, I love you to my bones.

She cries in his arms as a safety net catches her and hope is restored.

Half a moon slips on her lips and she walks with grace, she will leave her mistakes but a classmate reminds her that she's late, a scream escapes they know her fate.
Class they meant, not the baby to be sent.

One cut, two cuts, three cut - four. She falls to the floor with a knock on the door he runs in, worry on his skin as his thought was right, it's time to fight.

Baby you promised to talk to me not leave, her eyes roll back with a panic attack as he sees his whole world fade away in the light of day he never got to say, how he feels.

A positive result upon lies a note, I'm sorry I left you with this, she would have been bliss but life got in the way and I can't stay.

Pictures of them written on with pen, hearts but tears on the tares of the corners. Breaths become shorter and blood drips down the bath, how did it get this far? Baby you promised you wouldn't leave me alone, you said you would phone!

Somebody call an ambulance! His heart is dense, her body sinks into him and her life lifts to Heaven, God I gave up sin and you take relish must I perish - pain of this name, I could never be the same. You took my girl, you took my world.

Baby you promised you would not cut.

When I stare into your eyes and you stare back into mine
I don't just see the surface , I see the galaxies that they hide
And for those fleeting moments
I know not of harming thoughts
But rather the cosmos
The stars , your eyes have caught
It's as if you've swallowed the night
Just to taker breath away
The universe is endless
And my feelings are the same
Striking depths of space I see
Your eyes provide this view
What do you think as you search mine ?
All I think is , " I love you "

Take my mind off of everything, make me forget what being empty feels like and I swear to god I will show you what happiness means.

“That girl in the photo,
who wears a smile upon her face

with twinkles in her eyes

and a skin that glows

You have no idea

how she once struggled

In finding herself

and in fighting for her

many dreams
That girl in the photo,
she once cried for

365 consecutive days

and suffered eight years

of depression
That girl in the photo,
she once thought that

her body was fat

and starved herself
 for days
That girl in the photo,
she once wanted to
 **** herself with her
bare hands and just 
disappear
That girl in the photo,

she once hated herself 
for the way that 
she wasn’t perfection any aspect
That girl in the photo,
she was a wall flower 
who was thought to be
anti-social because
 she was quiet
That girl in the photo,

she once had best friends
 that she loved
 but lost them when 
they left her
That girl in the photo,
she had parents who
 restricted her freedom
and criticized her 
for being useless
That girl in the photo,
 she had her heart broken
 one too many times

and lost herself 
in so many ways
That girl in the photo,
you have no idea
how much she cried 
and wanted to end
 her precious life
That girl in the photo,
she grew out of it one day
 when she started to learn
to love herself 
for who she was
And now,
it is your turn”

I glanced at him, while the trapped light of morning danced through the blinds and graced his cheeks,
looking for peace.
He could be a metaphor,
an effortless poem, one that ink and paper could never hold
His hands entwine with mine, rough hands so carelessly comforting and eyes embedded in a trance.
His laugh so warm, to mimic flames,
he is a fire, my every desire.

Show me your soul, naked and unmasked.
I will reciprocate with my unbound flaws and once hidden heart to be unsheltered in your trust.

     You hold a smile more marvellous than a captured sunset in Autumn with glorious colours at work to create a circle of eternity.

I filled my gas tank to 33 dollars and 33 cents 
and told you it was for you
because it was your favorite number.
I organized our belongings 
(white t-shirts—books—toothbrushes—
baby, this is where we keep our sweaters)
 as if using the word “our” would embed myself
into what you call home.
I bought flowers from a homeless man
because you are a botany major. 
I wanted to bring them to you,
wilting and loveless, and show you how
 I can nurture something worth saving.
There is a five-finger scar above my breast.
 There is an orchestra on my neck shaped like your pulse
 from all the nights you held me the way
 you only hold something slipping.
There are 6 states
 pressed like stubborn flowers 
between the last time I kissed you and today,
 but you still feel like a sound caught in my throat.

And
                       You were just
                Like the                 Moon,
           So lonely, so
   Full of imper-
Fections but
   Just like the
         Moon , you                    Shined  
                 In times of ,          Dar-
                               kness.

Sitting on a plane, can you remember my name?
A crisp memory of a faded you and I, sweeps my mind
They told me I would be fine, but
      They *lied

" As I entered the hospital and walked down to your room, I saw you lying there peacefully and you looked happy.
But then I noticed your wrists and how the bandages were stained red, I sat down beside you, and I saw all of your scars covering your arm - a permanent tattoo of pain - and then I realised how many times you needed someone and how many times, I was not there "
Maybe someone can think that of me, someday.

Pale , washed out and faded.
Your once rose tinted lips that lingered at my body and colourless hands that grabbed my bruised hips , hungrily.
Our stollen kisses wasted on tequila and messed bed sheets.
It wasn't perfect but it was real.

Dark love now creeps through the cracks of what's left of my heart
lost nights in *****
And bruised kisses lost to drunken men
Cold comforting steal slashes lap at my already etched frame

These are just some things I do
To help me forget your *name

I was your cigarette - I gave you all of me
Until you decided I wasn't enough anymore
you threw me out
  
         And replaced me

I'm stuck in a trance
So deep that the colours compel my burning love deeper to you
I was shattered within the maze of my life
   and then I met you
Suddenly air doesn't burn and razors don't destroy
Suddenly I was so captivated by the beauty of you, that the rest of the world fell from its loop
The stars finally shone
I was no longer alone
The girl so broken that no drug could fix her
Life with him became a blur
Tattered and torn you stitched up my heart
I can never imagine us apart
The hurt of the world, Disappears in your arms
I'm lost in your lust charm
Our bodies melt together
I love you forever.

Baby the world is a mess, but I promise you will never have to face it alone, I thought I'd felt love before, but then I met you - and our love became true

I crave to talk to you about it
However what exactly is 'it'
A whirlwind of issues and trouble, interlaced within my thoughts tinging in red

I wish I could crawl in the comfort of your Autumn coloured arms and nestle my fragile body into your portrait masterpiece.

I wish you'd try to understand,
That this pain wasn't planned. I don't choose to feel a wave instead of ripples, that salty water steals my air because of the force it holds.

I long to explain why I feel drained, why simple tasks are no longer natural and it hurts to walk on glass.