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to the girl who takes words out of people's minds
who speaks in metaphors, touches thousands of hearts
to the girl who aches for her prince to find
her poetry where it bled in the sea of rose quartz

to the girl who lived for two decades today
to the one who loves to the moon, back and around
the one who sits at the back of the cafe
writing for people whom she surrounds

happiest birthday my dear mermaid of poetry
you've been staying strong for twenty years now
it takes time to be the great person you want to be
you just have to keep your head unbowed

and things may be hard, may be tougher than this
and deadlines will keep trying to break you down
when the time comes you think you won't ever experience bliss
remember you're a mermaid, you can never drown

you've already been living for 7,300 days
eighty season changes in mermaid's time
you have survived all that crazy life chase
i think, my darling, you will be fine.
to my koala/mermaid/poetry goddess, madge,
happy birthday to you! stay strong okay :) this sem will be over soon and you will have your well deserved break. You are a fighter, you can get pass through this. I will always be cheering you on. I love you jm, a lot. Enjoy your special day ♥
Nobody talks
of love
thrown into a gutter.*

There is no glory in leaves
rotted to mulch,
turned with dirt.
They drain
and clog.

One look begins our pain,
one sweep ends their suffering.

We attend
at all times
a need to strive
and tend our strife.
To clear the heap,
we burn,

return to ourselves in a corridor of light,
and make do with the bareness of our hands.

The mind follows,
the will carries.
We reach

and let go.
Our smoke
glides the current,

for dreams do not die,
only granted
to the passing-by.
"For all the air that's in your lungs,
For all the joy that is to come,
For all the things that you're alive to feel,
Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal."

And Darling, we all have a little demon called "sadness" sleeping in all of us. You may not know it but it attacks sometimes, if not always, randomly and openly. It will call upon its henchmen "grief", "stress" or "heartbreak", to name a few out of many others. They will bite you individually, or all at once. Your head or heart may ache; your eyes are going to bleed salty tears.

But let me assure you- everything will be okay. The pain of this world is temporary. Never take it seriously. You are not yet a goner, and you won't be as long as you find and keep hope. Your hope may come in an animal, a person, an experience. And you will learn from it.

My dear, it is okay to feel empty once in a while. It only proves more that there is more space for many, newer things out there that can fill you up. To be honest, it does not mean you're greedy either, it only means your capacity as a better living person has grown. And you are going to love searching for things that make you happy; for happiness.

The negatives need to be there and it is impossible to extinguish them because they put a flag to what is the positive, and vice versa. This world is a magnet, and opposites attract. You may be a negative person but you'll mostly fall in love with a positive person, because he or she will get the magnetic pull inside them that you'll need them. You may be a positive person and you'll fall in love with s negative person, to save him from living the lonely, outcast life. Zen is never acquired without ying or yang; colors can never be achieved without black or white. Feelings can never be feelings without sadness or happiness. Life won't be life without death or survival.

To top it off, I'd like to say everything tomorrow will always end up better than yesterday. If it's not tomorrow, then the day after tomorrow, and so forth. You just need to have the will and the hope for it all. You'll be better than okay, stronger than fine. It might take you a day, or years.

Never stop living. Take all the time you need.
Quoted from Paramore's "Hate to see your heart break", which is a very good song and i recommend it to everyone to listen to.

Don't be afraid of sadness. It will cover you but you have the hope, will and power to control it. Don't be afraid of happiness, in fear of it leaving too soon. Drink in, savor, soak in the humanistic nature of both. You're not alive if you have one but the other. The healthy are balanced.
I feel like there's a shard of glass puncturing my heart sinking deeper and deeper, with each resurfaced memory it bleeds more and more. I wonder if I'll ever stop crying, if this longing to talk to you, the desperation to make you change your mind will ever go away. I still love you, I wish I didn't. I want to forget, I would even settle for being numb but I feel things on a grand scale and I can't tie every memory of you into a box like I want to. You want to be my friend but when did you stop wanting to be my lover? I know deep down this is for the best but I don't know if I can live with this ache, this pain. I want to overcome my demons but this weight on my chest makes it hard to breathe, I'm drowning. I want you to love me again, please. I can't believe that you could just stop loving me just like that. What about everything we shared, everything we've been through?  I know you have your demons too but I'd help you if you let me. Reality is, we just weren't working out together anymore. You weren't my perfect fit for right now anymore. Somewhere along the way we lost touch, too consumed by our own problems. I let my guard down and you gave up. I'm in pieces, doing my best to pretend to be okay even though it feels like you're stabbing me every time you refer to me as your friend. I don't want to be your friend.  I don't think I can be your friend. I want to love you. But I can't. I know I have to love myself first but right now all I feel is pain. You caused it. You've dragged me down to hell and left me to face it on my own. Why? Why did you do this to me? You always said you wouldn't be fine and although you cried and said it wasn't easy for you either it seems like you have no cares in the world. You don't love me. I wish I could say the same. Someday, in time, I'm sure I will. But right now I can't see past everything I'm feeling. It's New Year's Eve, I should be going out with my friends, having a good time, forgetting about you. I know you will be forgetting about me. You probably already have. But I can't do it, I can't face my friends and tell them why you're not there. I can't lose myself in the sweet surrender of alcohol like most people. I wish, I wish, I wish. But wishing is pointless. Tomorrow is a new day, the new year and I will learn to let you go. The day will come and I won't cry anymore. I'll think of you and everything we had and I'll be happy. I'll be happy without you. Thinking about you won't feel like having a gun pointed at my head. I'll get better and I'll move on and maybe we'll be okay again.  I just wish it wasn't so hard for me to feel okay now.
Written in December 2015.
I was so scared to lose you
Now I have
But I'm still breathing, I survived
You're still there but it's not the same
It may never be the same
I'm starting to realise that's okay
Our love was as deep as the night sky
But even the most beautiful stars fade away sometimes
The shards of my chest are still tender
But I know we will become stronger
I want to be the person I'm meant to be
I guess we were a little too comfortable, now we have no choice
I will live, I will live, I will live
And so will you
We will shine again
Maybe in different galaxies
But always connected
Perhaps a broken constellation
Can be mended in new ways
I want you to be happy
You deserve it
I want to be happy
I want to overcome my demons
I am strong
It took losing you to realise it
I can do this
I no longer need you in that same crazed way
I will grow, I will grow, I will grow
I will become the most beautiful thing in the sky
And when time heals my wounds
I will be grateful you set me free.
Written in December 2015.
my heart aches
but I am happy to know
I have loved
with all of
me
Little people
Fill a big world
Celebrating small victories
Reveling in their simplicity,
While bigger people
Struggle to weave
A world of their own
Celebrating  the  victory
Of a war won In its entirety.
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