Sliced from forehead to toe-tip
i am the naked
revealed.
what is seen cannot be reversed,
for all your scarves and blindfolds.
And I fear, sir,
That you have seen my soul.
In crowed rooms you hunted me,
singled out my tattered being for your prey.
I prayed like the mantis
to a mythical power for salvation,
but your eyes, relentless as your hands,
made me beneath you and before you,
to come undone.
If smite i could,
trust this; I would.
you are no kind soul
looking to help the weary traveler.
you are, as ever,
the vulture in disguise.
I am coming to believe
there exists nothing else.
I am only of worth
as long as i am of use.
And lately i only feel useless.

I handed you my soul
My heart and sanity
My dreams and demons
The scar runs so deep
The slightest scratch brings
Blood to the surface
The blood runs from the veins
To the ground
My footsteps imprinted in the blood
As I try to move away
I wake thinking it’s just a bad dream
But my vivid memory of the pain
The lies
Brings me face to face with reality
I did a dangerous thing
I let you see my vulnerability
And you devoured me
In just seconds you broke me down
The blood stain hard to wash away
You watched me lose sense
Lose control Lose my mind
All in the fantasy of your life
It was never going to end with
Love
It could only end the way it was in
Lies and pain
The blood stain hard to wash away

i get really sad
and somewhat heartbroken
when i think of all the things
that i don't know about you
i don't know where you go
or what you do
it may seem weird
that i would want to know
all of the little things
like what you eat
and when you go to bed
and what you do with your day
but i guess that's what love is
i'm interested in everything
that i could possibly know
it ***** that most of you
is kept so private
i would share anything with you
i guess you have to protect yourself
but i'll tell you right now
i'm not dangerous
and i love you enough
to where i would never
want to harm you
or use anything against you
no matter what
i wouldn't dare think of it
i just want to know you
thick and thin
through and through
i feel like i'm shown one person
and the rest of the world
the real world
is shown something else
i want to experience who you truly are
not just some part of you
or some held off
piece of you
i want all of you
i want to know everything you think
everything you say
and everything you do
i want you
one hundred percent
i want to know all the secrets
that you don't share with anyone else
i want to know all the different parts of you
the dark ones and deep ones
that only come out at night
the light and funny ones
that come out on a good day
the hard working and dedicated ones
that come out when you are focused
i want to see it all
because i love you
and to think i don't know all there is to know
rips me in two

Ive given it to god he will provide
Praying for true love and someone worthy
I ask to move up at work tired of feeling stuck
A raise so I can have a little extra
Confidence to be myself achieve greatness
That my schedules font have a time conflct
Work for my living invest in myself
School to gain knowledge to make life better
Jujitsu on my 1st passions an injury will not keep me down and out.
Return to coaching softball pushing my girls to be the best it comes from within
These are on my mind  theyve helped me grow become a better person

Oh, my love
How can I begin to express
What you are to me
You're my rock, my strength
The most considerate of companions
I think about you non-stop
It's become a daily routine
Your eyes tell a story
They show how deep your love goes
I know you are true
That's why I confide in you
You don't lie to me
You treat me like a human being
But more so
You treat me like a queen
And you are my king
We live happily
In the kingdom of our love
Forever in the castle
We built together
Our foundation has no cracks
Because what we have
Is based on true love
Not some game

sometimes i cry
but other times i laugh
the laughs arent real
but a disguise
to hide the pain


oh the pain youve
doused me in
it stings
it burns
it bruises
it pulls the life from me

remember that little girl who was always smiling?
shes gone
with the smile fading
more and more each and everyday

people ask
"how could you live likes this?"
i dont answer
because itd be like her
suicide


ive been grieving now for three years
and still havent found
closure
closure is not
easy to find
closure is buried in a chest somewhere
somewhere i will never find it
i promised myself, my family, my friends
if i somehow found it i would
take it and use it for the good

so sometimes you just gotta live life
and cry, laugh, sing
do whatever you can to find this so called
"closure"

I die inside
When I think of how much I want to love him
But I'm stuck loving you instead