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Shang May 2018
You are my every day’s happiness.
        My inspiration for everything that I do, and whom I am looking forward seeing to.
        
        You make my heart skip a beat—
        Make my whole body shivers each time you look into my direction.
        
        You are the brightest when you smile,
        Like the sun, or the stars in the sky.
        You complete my day, and
        Just seeing you every day, keeps my sadness and loneliness away.
Shang May 2018
Dreams,
beautiful, mysterious
frightening, disturbing, calming
Makes you confused sometimes.
Visions
Her
Shang Nov 2018
Her
— and there she was,
Sitting in that dim corner,
Again, isolating herself from everyone,—
It’s as if, she has given up caring for everything.
Shang May 2018
She’s a happy girl
Quite a good one, she’s cheerful, energetic, friendly, loud.
She got some good points; she likes to smile and is very talkative.
She likes people, loves talking to them— about any random things.
She’s the kind of girl that you’d probably like to hang out with.
When you’re with her, you’d probably never get tired of laughing or smiling or maybe talking.
She’s a fun person— she knows it herself.
She got a lot of friends. At first, you may find yourself hesitating to talk because she has that attitude.
But she’s nice, she really is.
That’s her, that’s her true self— or is it?

That’s right. She’s quite pretentious. She’s a fake like they said. She loves wearing her mask when she’s with people. But in reality, behind those things mentioned above, she’s different when she’s not wearing her mask.

She has a lot of friends, but she’s lonely.
She’s talkative, but really she’s just trying to distract herself.
She loves people, but they take advantage of her, especially her kindness.
She likes to smile, but that’s only because she doesn’t want others to worry about her.
She’s a fun person, but in reality, she just doesn’t want you to find out what a boring person she is.
When you’re with her, you’d never get tired of talking, smiling, or laughing, but again, she’s just distracting you.
She’s a happy girl, but is she really?

She’s received a lot of judgment, criticism.
She gets bullied, but she still smiles.
She does her best, but still, people see her as a disappointment.
She’s nice even if people take advantage of her because she’s used to it.
She’s used to people leaving and entering and pestering and hurting her.
She’s almost immune to it.
She received lots of hate, but she ignores the negative thoughts.

She’s depressed, and it’s killing her.
She tried to reach out, but they didn’t notice.
She’s always open, she has always been.
When she’s in distress, people would say, “It’s ‘cause you don’t open yourself up. It’s ‘cause you don’t talk, you don’t share. We want to help, but you’re shutting yourself in.”
But is she really shutting herself in? No— she was always open.
They just didn’t notice it.
She gave clues, but they ignore it.
She was just waiting for people to notice her, just waiting.

She’s scared that she might disappoint her people more.
She’s afraid that they would get mad at her.
She’s crying, but they don’t notice her tears.
They only focus on what’s outside, but have they ever see what’s on the inside?
She has always been reaching out, asking, crying, but did they ever notice that she was in need of help? No, they didn’t.
She’s not mad about them, in fact, she’s scared.
She acts childish, only because she wants attention.
Only because she wants them to notice her cry.
But what they did is scold her.
What they do is say mean things to her.
That’s not what she is asking.

Can’t they see she’s in pain?
Why can’t anyone see the real her when she’s always been open to people?
She just really need someone.
Some shoulder to cry on.
Please, she’s been through a lot.
When will you ever notice that she’s hurting every time you say things she doesn’t want to hear?
She’s dying, every day.
Your words are killing her.
When are you going to notice? If it’s too late? If she’s gone?
Yeah, maybe.
Shang Dec 2018
You were his light
when his world was dark.
His only sunshine,
whenever it rains.

His favorite,
among everything.
His happiness
whenever he gets sad.

I can tell he was happy
when you two were together.
His eyes were shining,
brightly like the stars.

Those jokes that he made
that was only for you,
Those pick-up lines,
'though corny but sweet.
How lucky you are.

Lucky, because you were his
favorite person.
Lucky, because I think,
until now, you still are.
Shang May 2018
His existence was my world,
    His words were my life line,
    When he said “I love you,”
    I melted, heart was beating fast.
    
    His breath was my oxygen
    His laugh was my medicine
    When he said, “Goodbye,”
    My heart broke, my body collapsed.
    
    He made me miserable
    He played with my heart— again.
    That imbecile person made me like this.
    Someone who is miserable, someone,
    who became fragile.
    
    He left me when I needed him the most,
    He ran away when I was feeling broken,
    Yet why— why do I still want him despite the horrible things he had done?
    Ah, I know, it’s because.... it’s him.
Shang Dec 2018
She was once the
brightest star,
Shining among millions
of galaxies.
Until one day,
she started to
exhaust herself —
letting us know,
that slowly,
her life is about to end.
Shang Nov 2018
Baby, can you please look at me
Look into my eyes and see what I feel
Tell me, what do you see?

I’m in pain, I’m hurt, I’m lonely.
I wish you were here
I wish I could feel your presence
Where are you when I needed
You the most?

I miss you, I miss you,
Yes my love, I do.
I wish I can feel your warmth again
I wish I can hug you and touch you again
Why do you have to go?
I’m lonely, I miss you.
Yes, my love, I do.
Shang May 2018
Tik, Tok, Tik, Tok,
Says the clock.
That’s right. Our time
Has come. It’s
Finally our turn to
Do what needs to be done.
If you don’t move, you’ll
Regret it for the rest
Of your life.
You must accept, you have to accept.
Decide which best.
Hurry, our time is running,
The clock is singing.
Tik Tok Tik Tok.
Our time is ending.
Shang Oct 2018
Where do I even begin?
Many questions are forming in my mind.
I can't rest, I'm too scared.

Depression, anxiety,
I need someone to listen to me. But they're all busy to care.
Has the world turned itself to me?

Where do I even begin?
Someone. Friends? Family? Relatives?
They're just there when they needed you for something.
Why is everyone not listening? I just need one person to listen.

Where do I even begin?
Is there a way? But I'm too scared.
Too scared to talk, afraid that people might judge me.
so then where? Do I even have a place that I belong to?
Where?
Shang Nov 2018
At first,
there was You and Me.
But after she came,
it became, You and Her.
So question,
Did I do well in fulfilling your boredom
while you patiently wait for her?
Shang May 2018
In that album, our memories are kept,
Smiling, laughing, having fun.

It belongs to everyone— to you,
me, and the others.

They’re meant to be treasured
meant to be kept—protected,

because in those photographs,
our memories are forever timeless.

— The End —