Must I be bound to an endless loop of routines,
flavorless, meaningless, maddening repetition?
Can there be a way to break out,
be free, spontaneous, full of life?

I've tried my hardest, put in the time,
stared insanity in the face and kept my spirit,
yet I've seen nothing but roadblocks,
in the way of progression, in the way of my life.

I've been screaming into the oblivion,
but all I've heard back are whispers.
They insist that I give up, conform.
They want me to be like them. Dead.

I won't give up. I will be free.

And they will be sorry.

Today you've won,
You've claimed one that I hold dear,
You stand there, cloaked in black, scythe firmly in your grip,
Stained red.

You care not for fairness, for mercy,
You're an agent of the next life,
Indifference painted all over your face,
So cold.

You speak not, but your words echo loudly,
A flash of a knife across the night sky,
"Everyone has their time", but when is mine?
I'm alone.

But I don't fear you.

Today is a good day, the sky is a clear blue,
drifting away on the wind, a bright red feather can be seen,
and before my eyes, it transforms, such a beauty to behold,
for now before me is a gorgeous fiery phoenix, it's wings spread proud.

Today is a good day, the ground is soft on my bare feet,
gliding on the breeze, the phoenix speeds graciously past,
and before my eyes, it transforms, such a beauty to behold,
for now before me is a white-hot fire, burning with grace.

Today is a good day, the wind sings a blissful melody,
Fed, by the gust, the inferno burns forth,
and before my eyes, it transforms, such a beauty to behold,
for now before me is a single bright red feather, drifting away on the wind.

Right now as I sit,
I find my self surrounded by nothing,
No one is around, the room appears very empty,
But I know better.

Right now as I sit,
I can feel her creeping up on me,
The hairs on my neck are standing up on end,
She's near.

Right now as I sit,
I am beginning to shiver uncontrollably,
She's whispering barely audibly in my ear,
"Please."

Right now as I sit,
I know I cannot help her, for I will lose myself,
She's a tempting force, revenge, but I mustn't cave,
I won't.

It was a cold winter day,
That started like any other,
Who could possibly know,
That this day would be stained red?

A man with evil in his heart,
Made dead who had given him life,
A mother's life cut short by spite,
Shots were fired.

A traveling to a place of learning,
Brought tragedy on the innocent youths,
Their families have scars that will never heal,
Shots were fired.

Bangs echoed through the hallways,
Two elder lives had already been ended,
Fear plagued the eyes of the children,
Shots were fired.

The man visited a room of many youths,
Cowering, trapped in the back of the room,
One survived, the room reeked of death.
Shots were fired.

A second room saw the attacker,
A brave hero gave her life to protect the children,
Still five children would meet their untimely ends,
Shots were fired.

Now recognizing the end,
The man took his own life through the barrel of his gun,
A disgraceful death, one wrought in hatred and disgust,
Shots were fired.

Five minutes were all it took,
The lives of many, many innocent people,
Ended violently and prematurely,
Shots were fired.

Come, he who seeks my disquiet,
Does it please you to see my total fury?
Must you enrage my soul, enflame my emotions?
You’ve awoken the volcano in me, and it writhes in waves of anger,
So be it.

Come, he who seeks my grief,
Does it give you satisfaction to see my despair?
Must you depress my heart, dampen my sentiments?
You’ve awoken the ocean in me, and it flows in waves of sadness,
So be it.

Come, he who seeks my insanity,
Does it comfort you to see my struggle?
Must you sever my mind, obliterate my senses?
You’ve awoken the cave in me, and it echoes in waves of madness.
So be it.

One day, oh one very happy day,
I will break out of this prison,
I will breathe freely and walk with purpose,
But that day, it is not today.

One day, oh one very happy day,
I will step into the world with grace,
I will live without looking over my shoulder,
But that day, it is not today.

One day, oh one very happy day,
I will leave all that ails me behind,
I will be me, not who everyone wants me to be,
But that day, it is not today.

That day is tomorrow.