last night i got angry
        it was a very strange feeling because
i've never really gotten   angry before


i got so angry i went outside and
                ripped 3 branches of leaves from a bush

i stared at them
               a plant's livelihood
sitting in my hand
and suddenly i was a murderer

i began to cry
and cry and cry
i didn't want to get that angry
or go ballistic
but i felt mad
in more ways than one.

staring at my phone
waiting for your name to light the screen up as it always has
but I keep waiting
patiently then not so much
I should accept that you're gone
but easier said than done
when I think of our memories
my heart hurts
being filled with joy
then having it ripped away
smiling at the photos
only to have that smile slowly turn into tears