I wish we could go back years ago, to those days when you were a puppy a young healthy energetic non-diabetic puppy
When we play with your mom
She passed away years ago, but every time y think of her it hurts all over again
It take me back to that exact moment i run to my bedroom crying and start to drown myself in tears, nothing could ever replace her maternal feeling and the protection she will have died to give me
People might be thinking this is so stupid you are talking about a dog
But they will say that cause they just don't understand, they can't understand how it feels, how i felt
And now watching you so proudly, you learn everything we thought you
You learn to recognize my smell, my voice, my crying sounds and you sit beside my window just in case i needed you, just in case i need to look at those shiny full of hope beautiful eyes that you have
I used to think that fatness was a sing of healthiness, at least in you, you always looked so happy fat and adorable, now im watching you get skinnier and weaker every day and its just hurt so much when i look at you and your getting older but at the same time always seeing that young and wild puppy that i saw the firt time.
We grow up together, your mom was like our mom and i see you like a sister but at the same time like my baby that i have to protect.
I really wish I'm doing it well, I'm new at this, it is really making me stronger, your knew I always wanted to be a doctor and now I'm practicing because i have to inject the insulin every 12 hour and then give you your special food, and put that cream on your left leg, and after I finished all that i sit and look at your eyes and see then turning blue, and start to realize that you will be dying soon and there's nothing I could do about it
You are going to die and the only thing i can do is think about how much I'm going to miss you when your gone but at least you will be resting in peace and i will be getting stronger
Today was a normal day, we cleaned the house and make lunch, then we took you to get clean and I went to the hairdresser.
I was coming back home and hearing the radio with mom, suddenly she received a call, her face changed completely, she looks at me as i ask what happened and tells me that you are gone, that your little heart couldn't handle it anymore and that you are no longer alive
I stay quiet for a minute or two, and I started asking questions with what i had of voice between my sobbing
When I got home I could barely got out of the car, and when I did the house already felt extremely empty without you saying welcome back! And smelling us while moving your tale with some much happiness
You waited for me for four months and i will never be more thankful for that cause i got to say goodbye
I now you got through so much, every single problem you riced above, you were blind and somehow managed to live incredibly
I love you so much and i have no idea how will I managed to live without you, What do you do with all the love in the world you were willing to give, how do you keep going when the thing that kept you going is gone?  
This day didn't went as I imagine and life will never be the same, this house will always be a little bit emptier, my smile will always be a little bit fake and my heart will always have a little hole were you will always live with me

I feel like everyone hates me
But i know they could never hate me as much as i do
And i can't help it idk what to do to love myself but i just can't i just hate me too much to ever even accept i have to be in this body for the rest of my life... would it help if i make it shorter?

I was just hanging there
Thinking about you
And a tear felt down my face
It didn't feel warm
It wasn't cold either
It was nothing
It didn't even hurt anymore
I can't feel nothing
It's just that nothing make me feel alive anymore
Maybe I'm not
Maybe I shouldn't be
That's when I decide
That it was over
That's when I decide
To **** myself
To die

Mommy, the monster under my bed enter in my head
Now they are telling me to do bad things
And somehow, I want to

We are all diferent people with different though
But in point of our lifes
We all suffer through staff that makes us strong, make us equals

We are all lost stars
Trying to light up the sky
Or maybe
Just our life's

It's not the poison that it's poisoning you
Is the reason why you take the poison

Show me that you are a monster
That you are a bad person
A bad influence
That you are bad for me
Cause i need to hate you
A really need to hate you
So i will stop loving you
But deep down i know
That even if you show me all that things
Even if you ******* destroyed me
I will still love you with all my heart
And all my sould

I have tried everything to get you out of my mind.
But its just impossible nothing can ever make me feel the way i feel when you touch me with your sweet skin and the amount of energy i have inmy body when I saw you. I can't forget your eyes that shine so bright into my soul it even make feel like I don't wanna die Just because I wanted to stay one more minute right beside you and that feeling you gave that finaly i was being loved i have never feel that way and it was the most amazing thing ever happened to me.
But like everything i this world, have an end.

Even if he was the one who hurt me
I feel save in his arms

Pain and sadness
They were best friend
Always like to play with my feelings
Till the time they became inseparable

Happiness was jealous
Cause after sadness came
Pain was her best friend
They always laugh till it hurts

But now happiness is tired of felling alone
So she tells pain how she fell about
She thinks he will care because they use to best friends
And he cares but just a little no the way she would want to

So pain tell sadness about happiness and what happened
So sadness get so mad and so sad
That she became into depression
And need pain to survive

So pain stay with her
Leaving happiness alone
Ones again
So she decided to leave
Even when I told her that I need her
That she can't leave me just with depression and pain

But she just don't care because she was broken, so she did to me the same pain did to her

And she leave me alone
I will never get happiness back
I will never be happy again

I'm jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It's closer than my hands have been
I'm jealous of the rain
I'm jealous of the wind
That ripples through your clothes
It's closer than your shadow
Oh, I'm jealous of the wind, 'cause

I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive

But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me

I'm jealous of the nights
That I don't spend with you
I'm wondering who you lay next to
Oh, I'm jealous of the nights
I'm jealous of the love
Love that was in here
Gone for someone else to share
Oh, I'm jealous of the love
I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive

But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me
As I sink in the sand
Watch you slip through my hands
Oh, as I die here another day
'Cause all I do is cry behind this smile

i have been drowning for so long
i learned how to breaht under water

i wanna write happy poems
that make people smile
that make them feel alive
but everytime i try to write
what i feel inside
it's all dark
and the paper star to cry
and my demons start to draw
and my tears start to fall
and my heart start to heart
and everything began to darken

very few things matter, and nothing matters very much