The night was dark, and for that I was grateful.
I could not see your eyes.
If I did, I would lose myself even more.
For in your voice I heard the bitterness,
something no longer there.
Your voice was that of a stranger.
A stranger I haven't met,
a stranger far different from the one,
I came to love.

For a second, I thought you were angry.
I wanted to believe that you were.
I imagined a reaction,
an emotion.
Anything.
Because I could not stand, indifference.
I could not bear the pain of suddenly being unable to recognize,
what was on your mind,
what was in your heart.

And that was something,
I did not wish to see in your eyes.
For the eyes, can never lie.

And if I saw it,
and confirmed it,
my eyes won't lie either.
It will tell you I love you,
and yours will say no, thank you.

I try to get mad but she still has my heart.
I can’t cast fire onto it.
Though I’ve burned the bridges between us,
I still wade to get to her.
I still drown in my attempts to get to her.

And though she watches from the shore
and eventually walks away,
the view was enough for me to stay.

in your eyes
and
in your smile
i saw a flash of hope
that i could be redeemed
from this hole that i jumped into.
a living hell.
i am hoping that one day
you'll reach out,
take my arms and pull me back to the surface
so I can --
we can,
begin again.

there's nothing i can do more but write,
hoping i'll eventually run dry
and have no more to say for you
and for all that we had.
i'm hoping i'll get tired of looking at you from afar,
and wishing we had more time.
i'm hoping i'll villanize you enough
to hate what you've done to me,
and what you've succeeded, unknowingly.

you really hurt me this time,
deeply.
all your words came crashing down,
like a bomb that deployed into a million missiles.
the target was one,
me,
but the casualty was millions --
millions of pieces of my heart breaking,
the first time i've ever felt it do so.
your words pierced like a hundred arrows
that werent aimed at me,
yet i bled,
because i was in the way,
and it got me anyway.

one day i'll get over you,
and i'll walk away from all this mess,
with a smile.
but for now, i'm drowning,
unable to breathe,
or swim away from the destruction.
and even though you've set me free,
and that i should look at the bigger picture,
my mind can't help but be in the details.
one day,
i'll forget.
one day,
you won't be here in me.
one day,
i'll be okay.

i know you think you are forgettable.
that you are what is left after all else is gone.

you are the moment that held on
for a little too long
before everything finally concluded.

you are the wound
that never mended
but perhaps,
during those times,
you healed just enough
to stop the bleeding
and stop the pain.

you are the fall
that never bloomed,
and never rose again.
the petals that never grew.

you are the girl
who loved,
and eventually lost.

the girl who did not matter enough
for her to remember your name.

maybe you are the same
as the dust motes in the dying light
with their fragile flight,
hopeless,
as they disappear.

you never quite belonged to where you are now.
so you feel, the place never reaches for you.

there is nothing this place,
and maybe she as well,
wants to keep from you,
and you are not permanent enough to be asked to stay.

not even your words can fight to be permanent,
and she will forget all the letters you've written.

but you've done what you can do,
and you've done it all too well.
you've made your own path,
even in a place overgrown.
you’ve changed the
morning and the
mountains for her.

you've done what you can do,
and you've done it all too well.
i'm sorry,
i'm sorry.

Tick-tock, time flows,
And winter, soon departing goes,
Or has it gone, already flown?
Tick-tock, time marches on.

But I, I've lingered long,
Like a statue, not so strong.
All bones and skin and agony,
Pouring into itself constantly.

Sleep eludes my weary soul,
But worse, I've forgotten my role,
Lost the penance I swore to keep,
Left alone with a cost too steep.

My soul, not worried, but I'm concerned,
For the price of redemption to be earned
Is insurmountable, so high,
The greatest suffering, nigh.

Tick-tock, time moves on,
Soon I'll be gone, long withdrawn,
And none will notice, I've disappeared,
For I, never belonged here.

please,
don't go,
no,
not yet.
not just yet.

i still carry so many regrets,
so many things i have yet to confess.

my chest is still filled with buried apologies,
ones i meant to press
at the palm of your hands,
and into the hollows of your heart.

i meant to patch up whatever i broke,
tore apart and ultimately destroyed,
but in the end,
there was nothing i could do
to end the pain,
yours and mine.

since then i have not mustered the strength
to stand again,
when i had already fallen to my knees.

you once tried to reach me,
but i was irreparable,
i could not be saved.
i tried to let go of all the love
you once had for me
and now,
i've created ghosts from our memories.

you once tried to heal me from my sufferings,
but i only inflicted more wounds,
even on you.
i could not find a way to love you,
without wrecking everything.

in case you're wondering,
no,
i don't expect you to forgive me
i don't expect you to love me again.

but please,
don't go just yet.
i cling on to so many regrets still.

i am sorry, i am sorry,
i am sorry.

The conclusion of our world, my love,
Does not meet its end with a faint sigh
Nor a resounding explosion.

Instead, it fades into an unbroken hush,
As the cosmos is interred in peaceful stillness.

The gods ask me,
As to how I have persevered,
And I share with them my secret.

For even in the face of everlasting solitude,
The void resounds with the melody of your name.

darling, i didn't need you
but i ended up loving you more
than words could ever hope to hold

and that's when i lost you
but i’ll pen you as if my poetry
could salvage a piece of you
that i could somehow keep

and i am truly sorry
for everything i meant to do
but failed to accomplish,

like loving you
and keeping you
and writing you back home again

the hard part
about being in despair
is it’s infectious

you speak of it
and all of a sudden
all the others carry the burden

as if it is their fault
that you are unhappy.

sadness
is an isolating thing
that tells you to reach out
for someone else

only to realize
how damaging it is

and so you cave deeper
within yourself
as if your ghosts
could fill the place
your loved ones used to be

it is a lonely thing,
your sadness, my friend.

it tells you that you are no good,
for those around you,
and that you are unworthy
of their help

so you cave in
to yourself,

and find your ruin
in the silence.

I never understood the science of missing somebody
I know biology has an explanation for why we miss someone,
but why,
why is there a need for it?
why does it occur almost immediately,
seconds even after
our skins collided?
why should I miss something that is not entirely my own?
why
must
this
be
the
prerequisite
to
falling
in
love?

little by little
i saw your fire dying.
i kept looking at your direction,
kept igniting myself,
whilst i ignored the fact that you voluntarily allowed yourself
to cool down,
and be doused.

what happened to our fire, baby?
you told me you'd love me not until the stars die,
but until they fade into nothing but darkness.
a scenario that wasn't going to happen,
not in our lifetime anyway.
but here i am, my hearth and my love,
still burning so feverishly for you.
whilst yours died,
reduced to ashes,
blown away.


tell me,
what happened to our fire, baby?

you traded your demons
for ones that are easier to hide

you wanted to get better
and i know, you valiantly tried,

but you also offered them a home
in the hollow of your chest,

you gave them the darkness
and let them rest.

and when they woke
and gnawed on your bones

you fed them your heartbeat
as if you could atone

for all the wreckage
your hands have wrought,

as if you could find the peace
that you have sought.

but they knew, i know,
and they grew in size,

now they live under your tongue
and tell your lies.

i know you are not strong
you are not brave

you grab your shovel,
you dig your grave

and you crawl right in
and close your eyes.

they can keep a secret
and so can you

you can be anything
they say

as if in encouragement
or judgment,
sometimes i cannot tell,
sometimes i cannot decipher.

it is as if people forget
that being anything at all
is exhausting in itself.

that simply existing is not at all gentle
but a fight and a battle cry
and a call for hope
all in one.

i am sorry if my progress
is slow,
if my wounds take longer to heal.

i am, first and foremost,
just trying to learn
what it means to be me.

and maybe, just maybe,
for now
that is all i want to be

i want to explore myself
and finally,
be proud of my victories,

i want to carry myself home
to my skin

i want to belong again.

last night,
there were tears in my eyes and i chuckled for a moment.
after so many days,
i finally have the time to think about what just transpired.
i finally have the time to remember you,
to think about the chaos,
the storm you brought in me.
i'm left feeling distraught, not with you but with myself for allowing it.
why didn't i fight the urge to go near you?
logic never saved me, it only made matters worse.
i tried to rationalize every part of you that didn't make any sense.
i tried to explain why every moment we part,
everything burns.
i'm still burning, only the flames are bigger.
and you're still the catalyst.

The sakura whispers
with the softness of first light,
but it burgeons,
as all brave hearts do,

it drapes its limbs
in the tender cradle of the breeze,
sending roots deep
to clutch the heart of the earth.

And when it blooms,
oh, how it blooms,
with the ferocity
of a love that refuses silence,

as if it alone
were chosen to guard
the fragile blush
of dawn,

its petals holding
the light,
infusing its essence
as it reaches for the sky,
yearning for the sun's warmth
and the rain's solace.

Sakura hesitates
in the moment before unfolding,
for it knows
that beauty unfolds in its own sacred time -

Life is a tender whisper
in the vastness,
and to blossom at all
is an act of divine grace.

darling,
if you ever come home to me,

your favorite meal
will be on the stove,

your tea will be cooling
on the counter

and the windows will be open
to let in the light
of a fading sunset.

when you come home,

your favorite blanket
will be freshly washed on the couch

there will be fire
sparking warmth across the tile

and the music that will play,
will soothe to your soul.

when you come home,

i will bring our cat to greet you
and a smile will startle across your face.

when you come home,

the world outside will be hushed just enough
to remind you that here is where you belong.

so i hope you come home to me,
someday,
one day.

as i peered into the darkness
it stared back at me

and in that moment,
i felt everything
and nothing of my apathy

in that moment,
i learned that the void
wasn’t empty.

it just echoed
around the absence
of what i missed the most.

can you imagine my surprise
when i yelled your name
and it replied back to me?

my darling, you are the enormity
of my universe.

you are my end
and my beginning

and everything else in between.

so come home to me, my love,
come home to me.

in the velvet of night,
cradled by the sway of our breaths,
alcohol painting our whispers,
i confessed a thousand I love you's
into the sanctuary of your arms.
it struck me,
with the force of a meteor shower,
the sheer magnitude of my desire
for you to be a constant star in my galaxy.
the miles between us,
a chasm filled with the echoes of our laughter,
taught me the bittersweet symphony of our impossibility.
yet,
in the fleeting dance of our togetherness,
i found clarity in the chaos —
a declaration,
carved into the marrow of my bones,
that you are the anchor in my ever-shifting tides.
i will set my sails to the rhythm of the sea,
charting a course through waters both wild and serene.
but know that in the depths of my soul,
it is your name that is etched as my true north.

for my heart is irrevocably yours —
this, the only certainty in my odyssey.

every night i lie awake
thinking when will I finally be able to sleep
without thinking about you
the past
and the future

those rare moments where I do get sleep,
i keep having the same dreams
and they're all about you

when will this madness stop?
when will i find peace in my slumber?

you were his star
but to me you are the universe
you were his relentless sea wave
but to me you are the ocean

i am just a star, and
darling
you light up the sky
above me,
because you
are
my universe

it means take care or to take care,
in a foreign language.

you will, won't you?
you are far too beautiful to fall,
and even if you do,
i'll be there.

cuida,
take care.

we embarked on our journey together with a kiss --
a kiss with tears embedded in that memory.
a kiss with tears still forming in your eyes
as you remembered a former lover,
your almost.
ultimately, we ended our journey together with a kiss --
a kiss with tears swimming from our eyes,
trickling down to our lips.
a kiss that meant the end of me for you,
as you did the same thing your former lover did,
and became my almost.

how can you be both
the demon and the angel
inside of my head?
the very thought of you
starts a cascade of emotions,
both the good and the bad,
and an endless stream of memory,
that seems to replay from
beginning to the end with no form of escape.
what am i to do?
my mind seems to enjoy the demons you inspire,
and my heart misses the angel you were.
what am i to do?
the demon that i hope to finally see you as,
just led me to a deeper understanding that
all my thoughts and emotions point to you.

i never fell for the angel,
it was when you showed me
your darkness,
the demon inside of you,
and all around you,
that's where i fell.

my love,
i had dreamt of you,
my entire life.

i wished for you
on every star,
11:11,
and dandelion puffs.

i worshipped you
in the prayers of my every poem.

i loved you
with the entirety of my existence
from the moment i found you.

i believe,
that the universe reoriented itself
to keep you at the center
and it was the first time
i had known peace
and belonging.

your departure from me,
would untether the planets
and misalign the galaxies.

your eventual absence
will catapult me
into the darkness.

i am a ghost
without a home to haunt

a heartbeat
without a chest to belong to.

i will know nothing
except for the loss of you.

i know it will consume everything
i will ever have known.

it will sound like a goodbye
and it will feel, alone.

so don't go,
don't ever go.

You tell me your fears,
and i tell you i'll be here.
I thought it would make me weaker than I already am
but it made me want to pick
up my
sword
and lash through
all the challenges
that might
come on our way
because I want nothing more
than to prove you wrong
and be
with you
until you ask me to go.

i want to destroy this part of me
that yearns for you,
that aches for you,
because it mourns your absence.
i wake up to each new day in torment.
my mind says no,
but my heart pleads for you.
logic tells me you'll never come back
and that i should pack it up and move forward.
but you've opened the irrational part of me,
the one that believes in feelings and humanity,
and it asks for me to be patient,
to go on and carry whatever i feel for you,
in blind faith.

its a terrible thing,
to have hope
and something you hold dear.
i'm hoping i can eradicate every part of me
that feels for you
and hopes for your eventual return.
nevermind what my heart wants,
you don't want any part of it anyway.

for every day that you're gone
i'm scared i'd lose you even more
you are so close,
yet so far away.
when will this fear come to an end?

you said you were scared of losing me
i guess one day
you just decided to conquer your fears then,
i guess one day
you decided it was time to leave me,
i guess one day,
you decided, i was not worth it any longer.

to you, my sweet,
my sunshine --
thank you.
for carrying me through the rough waters,
the rock bottom and my own perilous self --
for holding me with your steady hands
after i stumbled and fell into what felt like a chasm
filled with anxiety and despair
for being resolute,
despite my unwillingness to move --
thank you.

i do not know what i did, or what i have done,
to deserve someone so beautiful and kind.

for all that you did and all that you've done,
i will remember,
for always.

they say time heals all wounds,
but i guess,
i wasn't just wounded,
when i lost you,
for after all this time,
i still bleed for you.

its been a long time,
since i've talked with you
and its been a longer time
since i've had you
near me.

for a while, i thought i was done
with all spectrum of emotions i felt for you.
for a while, i thought i no longer cared.
all those times were all in vain,
for i still miss you,
more than ever.

its all just hitting me now
every bone
every fiber
every nerve of me
is finally absorbing the shock
and
the thought of you,
gone,
and away from me.

i wish you'd come back.
**or rather, i wish i never left

please,
go slow, go gentle,
learn to hesitate,
before you let yourself fall.

before you risk it all,
on someone else,
you must first protect yourself
before you let it all go.

you'll never know
how they will choose to hold your heart.
it could all fall apart
in the palm of their hands.

and then you will not be able to stand
again.

you will be on your knees
begging for their mercy
or reprieve,

you will once again
succumb to your grief
as it carries you home.
you will be left alone,
yet again,
to your own suffering
and there will be nothing
to dry your tears.

you will dissolve,
and disappear,
into your despair,
a penance you will have to bear
as it swallows you whole.

so please, my dear friend,
protect your soul
because it is too precious to break.

i cannot bear to know you ache
deeper than everyone else,

you do not belong on the shelf
i reserve for those that are broken,
as another poem for the lost,
that is too great a cost
that i cannot dare to pay.

go slowly, my friend,
hesitate.
stay.

do not jump and fall away
if someone will not become your wings.

you do not deserve the ending
that comes from the far fall.

you do not deserve to be hurt
at all.

I beg you to not be temporary.
I beg you to be the one with me at 3 am
I beg you to take me seriously
because underneath all the jokes,
the laughter,
your frustration towards me,
I am slowly
gravitating
towards
you
in the most human
and vulnerable
way possible.
I beg you to stay.
I just can’t say it yet
because every time I do,
the opposite occurs
so I’ll write about it.
I’m falling in love
with
you
and
its
stupid.
So please.
I beg you not to run away with my heart.
I beg you to stay
for a while.

if you are to leave me,
my darling,
then do so.
leave.
escape.

do not close the door
on your way out.
leave it open.
let the world
pour in
so you can see the ruin,
you left in your wake.

let me hear the sounds on the outside
making noise
so i can drown out the ghosts
you've created,
who can no longer breathe your name.

open the window, my love
and allow the sunshine to seep through.
slowly touching and soothing
the shadows in every corner

please don't turn around.
don't you dare turn around.

i want this new existence
to begin
devoid of you.

you do not have the right to see
what is left of me
after you are gone.

i am at home in my grief.
i will breathe in
the spring breeze
and eventually the summer air
and allow new life to grow.

i am a lot stronger
than you will ever appreciate,
so please, walk away,
you do not get to see my fall.

no,
you do not deserve
any part of me,
at all.

if you are to leave,
my love,
then leave.

i will not be in despair,
and grieve
for long.
i swear,
i hope.

my friend, i cannot promise,
nor guarantee you
that this life will ever get easier.

this world is a cruel, broken thing

when you fall to your knees,
she will not rise to stop you,
nor soften the impact.

if you press your forehead
to her ground,
sometimes she will roar
and start a riot.

she quakes in her agony
and rages in her fury
as she tears open the skies,

and you and i,
will weep for her
when everything falls apart.

i cannot stop the ending
that comes with heedless abandonment

i cannot alleviate the hurt
or heal what’s left of your heart

but I can promise i am here,
and i will be here.

for the pain
and the healing,

for the numbness
and the feeling,

i am here, my friend,

And you will never
have to suffer alone again.
you will never walk alone, again.

sometimes, I fall into deep despair,
plagued with thoughts
and
remembering every moment,
and second
that hurt.
I feel like a failure for every moment
that I cause anger,
that I cause you to get lost,
that I cause a change,
sometimes for the worst.
Maybe its true
that I everything I touch
with my heavy hands,
shatters at some point,
and
it is what I end,
picking up.
Its why I always end up with
broken
and
bleeding hands.

Only this time,
I swear,
this too shall pass.

perhaps i will always just be a supporting character
to everyone's story.
never the protagonist,
nor the antagonist,
not even the deuteragonist.
i'm just a minor character,
a passerby,
someone to fill in the show.
because when a damsel like you called for the hero,
and i came running,
tending to your wounds,
you kissed me thanks,
and bid me goodbye.
and then you sat there and waited
again,
and tore out the already healing scar.

there and then i realized,
i'm not a hero,
not in your story anyway.
i could never be,
for you chose not to see me.

i love her,
more than i ever
will be able to quantify,
and more than she will ever know.

some days,
i need a pair of arms
to fall into,
that feel more like home
than an open door

other days,
i want to be kept
the way the devout
keep their prayers

or the way sinners
keep their forgiveness
pressed in their palms

i've always wanted to belong
to someone
who didn’t need to stay

someone who chose me anyway
in spite of the mess i carry,
and the disarray

this time,
i need this girl,
her,
to be okay
with my weaknesses

And i promise,
i will love her, still,
and i hope,
she loves me the same.

i kiss her,
and she whispers my name
as i do so,
and i hope it won't ever hurt her
to say it

when i pull away,
her eyes glitter
and shimmer
and i hope it stays that way
for always.

she holds me close,
and it feels like home.

11 p.m. shaky
"Please tell me what went wrong," I asked.
I never thought I'd get overlooked again.
Even when I've given my best, I still come second.
Truly it is hard to compete with desires and memories.
I laughed with tears, and then those tears turned to real sadness.
I've been let down before.
So why does it still hurt me as first love would?
Why does it hurt so much more than just the sting of a bee?

12 a.m. endure
"I can't keep doing this to you," you said.
I thought, "No!" almost immediately. "How dare you turn weak on me?"
What have I not done to be unable to deserve you, to keep you?
How is it possible for me to lose someone even when I've done everything I could to keep her?
How can I lose you over your interest in making me stop enduring?

1 a.m. nowhere
Silence.
You said almost nothing.
The sounds came mostly from tears escaping your eyes and me forming words, begging you to please stay.
I almost lost you there.
I remember it hurting so much.
I had to punch the wall next to me.
I wanted to wake up from this horrible nightmare.
Would you have given up on our next fight had I not brought this one up?
What would my feelings bring this time?
Shall I hide for good?

2 a.m. confession
"I did things and I don't know why."
I had to cover my mouth with pillows so you wouldn't hear me at my worst weep for pain.
The worst part was, deep down, I knew.
I felt it.
I felt your best-kept secrets before you even confessed to me.
I wanted to shout but who would listen to me?
I knew that I just had to keep trusting even if you have shot me a million times.
Truth is, I'd rather be hurting than be happy without you.
That's not happiness. Not to me anyway.
I don't even want to hurt you.
I just want you to love me.
Fully.
But I guess that is not meant for me now.

3 a.m. respite
"I love you."
I love you even if you bleed my heart out.
I will see this through.
The question isn't how much I love you but how much you're willing to do to see it through.
The answer to our problem isn't out there but here.
I wish you would realize just how happy I am with you and that these minor roadblocks are here to test your endurance.
How much are you willing to put me through?
The solution is not to give up.
Every day is a new chance and without asking for it, I've given you so many and I'm only asking for a little bit of chance to be loved in return.
Will you still love me even if my heart's in pieces already?
I promise nothing will be missing.
Do I need to hurt you to be unforgettable too?
Does my heart need to be in pieces before you start remembering about my feelings?

i asked you to be mine,
as a frail joke,
and you told me,
i knew the answer.
i did know the answer,
i just wanted to hear it from you,
even though i knew it would break me.
for you to want me,
but not give it to me.
it almost brought me to the brink of destruction.
how could the best person to have arrived in this gruesome life that we all lead,
be not allowed to be mine?
i tried to laugh it out,
to not be bothered by the circumstance
i am presented.
you told me to ask you again,
and i was puzzled.
why would you want to hurt me again?
but still,
i did.
and this time, you said yes.

i asked you to be mine,
and you said yes.

and darling,
i buried a entire lifetime in you.

all the what could have beens
and should have beens

and what was
and what could never be.

the entire story of you and me
read just like poetry.

it is beautiful and broken,
and both silent and spoken.

our story,
lived on the tip of our tongues
and then afterward,
haunted the hollows of our lungs.

our every kiss was a saving grace
and for every touch, we carved a wider space
between our beginning and the end.

my sweet, you taught me how to love again
in a wildly fierce and fragile way,
and i loved you even when you could not stay
and turned me away.

i loved you,
even though it destroyed my heart.

i know that we cannot go back to the start
and rewrite any part of our story,
and read it some other way
we can’t forestall the wreckage
or heal the wounds that still bleed.

all the ink to our story
has already been spilled,
and all the what might have been never will,

but darling,
to me,
there was an eternity in loving you,
filled with hopes and dreams anew.

i lived them all within the time i was given with you,
and though it goes against all reason and rhyme

i swear,
i buried a lifetime in you.
i buried my heart in you.

perhaps,
some people will never truly leave.
they'll always be inside of you,
crushing your bones
and
setting your very heart on fire
whilst their blood still courses through your veins
like kerosene.

my sunshine, if you are reading this,
i love you.

its the kind of love
that grows from kindness,

the love that lets you look
at another human being
and smile

my darling,
i am asking you how your day went
because i really do care
long enough to stay
and wait for your answer,

and i will listen
because i am here
to do just that.

i am asking how your heart is
because I know sometimes people
forget to check-in,

and i am offering you a shoulder
should you feel the need to cry,
or feel the need to lean on something
when the world gets tough.

i will wear my heart on my sleeve
so that you feel less alone
and see that i, too, have wounds of my own

and love,
i will always,
always,
make the time for you.

so come with me,
sit a while.
if you do not want to talk
about what hurts
we can talk in hopes.

it is high time the world
becomes less lonely,

so i am extending my hand
and reaching for you.

i love you,
i love you.

is this what you want?
is this who you truly are?
sometimes it feels easier to think that
i met someone else.
perhaps a ghost,
or a mirage of you.
eventually, i come to the conclusion that,
it was still you.
i met a side of you that i instantly loved,
and even the version of you that left,
still have my heart with it.

i might tell you,
during the small hours,
or perhaps, at midnight
when the clock strikes 12.

maybe during the day,
i'm not sure.
maybe not really,
but i could occasionally.

maybe during the afternoon,
when my mind is busy,
and you're busy.
you might not need it,
but i want to tell you anyway.

but at night,
as we are serenaded by distant white noises,
and the sound of a sleeping house,
under the influence of the nearing twilight,
i just might get romantic
and tell you that i love you.

darling,
i will always miss you

the way you laugh
in a freefall
eyes,
your beautiful eyes,
too brown,
too full of life,
too wonderful

lips that are too full with laughter,
and mine
your words that are too
**** kind
and open arms
like something out
of stained glass

a mirage,
something finally correct
after thousands of years

a
smile

kiss

whatever
you’ve
got

i miss it,
always.

in another life
we are in your heart
and you are whole
and you are home

and you recognize
the love everyone has for you
and you don't feel alone

and you do not break
where you stand

in another life,
you would not be the person
you thought you became

and the sound
of the names of your failures
does not bring you
to your knees.

they do not wound you
or make you bleed

they do not destroy
what we held so dearly.

in another life
you choose to stay

and
you do not disappear.