Oh Language, where hast thou hid thyself?
Thy once-bright spires decline to dust.
The calm, well-reasoned flow of wisdom
a bygone memory. I’ll not trust
these tween-to-twenty-something’s prattle;
endless babble of self-absorption
centered in pleasure-maximizing:
Dude—they’re SO not app’ed for language
used by dad ten years ago.
I’m totally DONE with their, like, verbiage
They’re all: Smartphone Teenage Show.
It’s just, like, TALKING—without words
in language ghettos; texting proud . . .
Their lack of precision offends my brain—
They ought to be ashamed (out loud).
Vygotsky’s vaunted Z.P.D,
and Bakhtin’s heteroglossic crack
along with Roland Barthe’s pet parrot
Are SO like totally talking smack.
ZPD ZPD ZPD ZPD ZPD
frightened about addictions--
mine feel far less dark
because they blaze from a white
lower the brightness. i can't
bear to feel my eyes
dissolving like my dull white
1 . Die, all of you.
2. Flip her skirt up.
3. Let everyone be happy.
4. Bring the most righteous person back to life.
5. Bring back everyone who died.
6. I want eternal life and youth!
8. I want to stop being a warrior.
9. I want more talent.
10. A harem, of course!
11. Disappear, all of you.
12. Expand my power to one thousand paths.
13. Money! Money!
14. I want to be friends with everyone in the world.
15. Rule the world!
Ruling the world is hard.
16. I want a girlfriend!
But would that really be love?
17. I want wisdom.
Foolishness makes you who you are.
18. I want to know the future.
But what fun would be living then?
19. I want to be a pro baseball player.
But you would have to work out every day then.
Then why I have hands?
21. I want to fly.
Then why I have feet?
22. I want to speak all languages.
You don't like to talk anyway (RELATABLE).
23. I want an X-ray vision.
That would lead to misunderstandings.
24. I wish for an end to war.
But it won't end exploitation.
25.I want to climb mount Everest.
But you would have only yourself to rely on.
26. I want a smartphone that can't run out of battery.
It would last only a few years still.
27. I want to pilot a giant robot!
What you would be fighting?
28. To never stub my toe again.
Why not just watch where you walk?
29.I want a cool supercar.
It won't feel the same if you don't buy it yourself.
30. I wish everyday could be Sunday.
Go to work on Sunday?
31. I want to be a bird.
Being a human is much better.
32. I want to read people's minds.
You would start to distrusting people.
33. The ability to wake up early.
But you would just go back to sleep. (Totally relatable)
34. I want to enter a manga.
What if you couldn't get out?
35. I want to be invisible.
You are already invisible in the classroom (that hurts, you know).
36. I want to not feel pain.
37. I want that rare book.
It's only rare because no one else have it.
38. I want that limited edition item.
Would it still be limited edition then?
39. I want a best friend.
What if they knew you were friends only because of a wish?
40. I want to be a great man.
That greatness wouldn't last.
41. I want to talk to animals
They probably don't have much to say.
42. I want to travel the world.
It's likely harder than it sounds.
43. I want to live in a mansion
All by yourself?
44. I want a fighter plane
Where would you park it?
45. I want to play all instruments!
But buying them all would be expensive.
46. I want to see a ghost!
Like hell you do!
47. I want to meet a great person from the past
But they would have a lot of lectures for a modern person.
48. I want my dormant power awakened!
What if you don't have any?
50. I want power to stop time!
That's like saying you want a power to commit crime.
51. I want better penmanship.
In digital era?
52. I want to meet an elf
In this day and age?
53. I want youth.
What do you think you have now?
55. I want an eye that sees long distances.
You mean like a third eye?
57. I want to hire a maid.
Just go to cafe.
58. I want to be a manga artist.
Answer one of the Young Jump recruiting postings.
60. I want to live in a deserted island!
You would probably want to leave it right away.
61. I want a time machine!
Do you have an idea how to get energy to power it?
62. I want to be free of stress.
You need stress to grow.
63. I want world peace.
Would you still exist in a peaceful world?
64. I want a loving family.
But artificial one?
65. I want to eat the world's most delicious food.
But you want to eat cup ramen too.
66. I want to go to amusement park
What are you, a girl raised to be a living weapon? (This is surely an allusion to something, I just can't get what)
67. I want to be on the front page of a newspaper!
Are you going to commit a crime or what?
77. I want to be a cyborg.
Who would repair you if you broke?
78. I want an art collection.
You don't even like that stuff. Don't pretend to be an intellectual.
79. I want to buy a penguin.
Can you even take care of an animal?
80. I want to talk to famous people.
About what? Any subject in mind?
82. A world free of evil people.
What would be left?
83. I want to be taller.
And then you would want to be shorter again.
84. I want courage.
What are you, a lion?
86. I want prestige.
87. I want to never be late for a bus.
But then the buses would be late.
88. I want to be the strongest in world.
Why, so you can bully the weak?
89. I want to invent something amazing.
All inventions ultimately become weapons.
90.I want to film a movie.
You would bring down any set you were on.
91. I want to be someone who will never lose again.
The moment you wish for this, you become an eternal loser.
92.I want to become a master swordsman.
96. I want to learn the truth of the world.
No, you don't.
97. I wish misfortune on people I hate.
Wishing misfortune on others is a ****** thing to do.
98. To grant your wish instead.
Cancel that immediately.
99. I want to turn my wish into 100 wishes.
100. Let me forget
Smartphone cameramen, women,
united in a circle ****:
Lead actress in the center, drowning
in fossil-fuel *******.
Mother (Nature) I'd Like to ****.
has been appreciated
proven by epigrams and haikus
but the technology
of our time
has made it mandatory
to express yourself
in as few words as possible
in order to save
space & time
on smartphone screens
throughout the world
no matter how transmogrified
thinking may have become
by this enforced simplicity
complexity of thought
has gotten out of fashion
and even nations‘ leaders
have fallen back
on the old black & white
the KISS principle
KISS principle: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KISS_principle