Im okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I love you so ******* much
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I drank too much.
I'm okay
I'm Okay
I'm okay
I can't believe he's so much more important
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I even bought your favorite apple ale
I'm drunk because I drank it all
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm cutting you off because you're hurting me and you don't care
I still love you
I'm hurting more than you'll ever know
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm lying.

I feel the world crashing
Falling all around me
Hiding, inside, shaking
But I'm okay

My head in a million pieces
I don't know who I am
Or who I'm supposed to be
But I'm okay

I'm okay
Yeah, I'm pretending
I'm okay

I'm okay
Keep on telling myself
I'm okay

Sometimes I think of you
How you used to hurt me
Then giving me all the blame
But I'm okay

Yes, I have had better days
Wanting to be somewhere
Somewhere away from this
But I'm okay

I'm okay
Yeah, I'm pretending
I'm okay

I'm okay
Keep telling myself
I'm okay

My mind is a little crazy
Locked up in my asylum
Where all the mad me dwell
But I'm okay

No one listens to my voice
I can't tell if I still exist
Or a figment of my imagination
But I'm okay

I'm okay
Yeah, I'm Pretending
I'm okay

I'm okay
I don't believe myself
I'm okay

Copyright © Chris Smith 2016

Am I okay?
I feel okay.
Do I look okay?
No well then I guess I'm not okay.
I am not okay I mean I look okay...



For I hear the things people don't want to say I hear the past and the voices yelling at me telling me to just go die there give up telling me I'm not good enough and its not okay I guess and I wish I was okay but sometimes I feel as though I will never be okay...


I want to be okay I want to be the one who looks okay everyday I am sad I try to pull a smile and some days it works and others it don't...


Did you know they yell at me everyday?
Everyday I hear the sounds of death the tormented screams getting louder as they talk and each day I want to end the voices so if you ask if I'm okay here is what I'm going to say....

Im okay but I'm not okay cause if I was okay I would be the death of the pain and the pain is not okay...


I just want to say Im sorry I do want to be okay and I want to be okay with you but I see my past and all I see is hell living hell and I want to get over the abuse and I just can't I want to get over the divorce but I can't all I can do is pray...



All I can do is say I'm not okay.

Its okay. You broke me. It's okay. Things break because they need to be fixed. It's okay. Maybe you're confused. Maybe you love her. It's okay. It's not like I'll love you forever, right? Things break because they need to be fixed.

I think it might be okay. I'm uncertain. I'm broken, it still hurts. It'll be okay. Sometimes things don't get fixed the way they used to be. It'll be okay. You lie. You love her. I think it'll take a little time for me to be okay. Sometimes things don't get fixed the way they used to be.

I don't know if it'll be okay. I'm lost. I'm still broken. I don't know if it'll be okay. It hurts to see you with her. I don't know if it'll be okay. You love her. You break me again. You love her. I don't know if I'll be okay. It hurts.

I don't think it'll be okay. I've been distracting myself with addictions like razors that need to be sharper and cigarettes that need to last longer. You still love her. You act like I'm not there. I don't think it'll be okay. I'm distracting myself with addictions that are becoming my life.

It won't be okay. I know; I have scars under my heart and my lungs are rotten. It'll take me years to get over this addiction. You love her. It's going to be years before I stop loving you. I buy another pack. Maybe our timing was wrong.

I'm not okay. I know; I woke up with a bottle of pills in my stomach, but I'm not dead. You kiss her at the end of the day at school. In front of everyone. I leave. Panic attacks in the school bus are in routine. I still love you. It hurts. It hurts. I don't think you'll stop loving her until I'm dead. God, I'm horrible.

It's been six months since I last saw you. I drank for the first time a week ago. I know you'd have a heart attack. If you were still here. You tell me you still love her but you couldn't do long distance because you were leaving for college and she was still in school. I'm not happy. I think it's stupid. If you loved someone that much, what's a thing like distance? I'm in a different continent than you are. I still love you. I look for you in crowds and I look for you in people. I wonder if we'd ever run into each other in the future and if you'd wanna try again. Probably not. I buy more packs.

It's been three years. Three years since I last saw you. I use nicotine patches and there are month old scars around my thighs. I smile and sometimes I can laugh without faking it. I'm in another country. I don't look for you in crowds anymore. I don't know if I'll be okay.

I don't see you in my best friend and that's something big. She can be like you, and I think I might like her. But not because of the similarities between you two. I don't know if I'm still in love you. I still feel empty and I still relapse from time to time. I guess when you love someone for so long you forget who you are without those feelings. I think it'll be okay.