Lets put the starts to shame as we light up underneath them
Lets go for a hike and get as lost in nature as we are in each other
Lets dare each other to climb a little higher because we both know the fall is nothing to be afraid of
Become a time keeper, speed up a moment just so you can take pleasure in slowing it down
Put on your explorer hat so you can take the time to map every part of me out
I will do the same, excited to smooth out your surface like a love letter that’s been creased and un creased relentlessly
Let me unfold you
Lets jump into cold water to feel revitalized, just like you feel when my cold hands seek your warm body
Lets be fearless, as in no heartbeats that turn into birds surrounded by ribcages that shrink in around it..
But more like drums whos beat leads to endless dancing and spiritual growth. Let’s fall in love.
Lets be better than any love story you have heard of, lets brag about how lucky we are to be existing together in a moment.
Bring out my over competitive side, make me lose so I can realize that is impossible… because reality is about perception and if I have you I can only win
Whisper, sweet something’s because sweet nothings can be for the girls that were before me. Lets be substance… be moral be wild crazy and alive. Let’s be young. Let’s be that romantic element others search an eternity for, and let’s make it easy. Easy like breathing, like taking in your air… lets fit together like we are proof in creation; even if it doesn’t exist we can still create something beautiful. Lets make this important, lets.

Lets set sail
To the great unknown,
Where the future can change
And the present can unfold.
Lets set sail
To our grand denial,
Let us live another day,
Life is better when its vile.
Lets set sail
to the REAL unknown,
Where its better when you sink,
Than it is to stay afloat.
Lets set sail,
To our greater knowledge,
For there would be no boat,
If the shore was always by us.
Lets set sail,
Far far away,
So we can learn to survive,
There is no other way.
Lets set sail,
Let us learn,
Let us fail,
Lets. set. sail.

My fathers love ended up in a box, in a large cold room.
Strange you might think,
That the confectionaries in this dissapointing wooden container
Would be a relic of love to a small boy.
But there it was...
In that large cold room, in that large cold house,
In that large cold school,
Was this box.
And in this box was all sorts of sweets, crisps and so on
And that was what I had of my father.
The box was mysteriously called a "tuck box".
There were other boxes like it, lining the outside of this large room.
But this one was mine.

Each box had a small lock, some had stickers.
Mine had a sticker, neatly aligned in the rear left corner.
The room rarely had any visitors and aside from the boxes, it had a solitary ping-pong table.
There were no batts or *****, just a green table with a net sitting awkwardly in the centre of the echoey room.
If it could speak it would say "What the **** am I doing here"
and I think thats how we all felt... all us boys.
I had no wish to play table tennis.

I did wish for my fathers love though.
Before term he would take me to the shops.
I would be able to buy whatever sweets I liked, but I felt bad, like it must be costing him a lot of money... all those sweets that is...
Not the boarding school or plane journey away from home.

So armed with these sweets packed away in my bag,
I would get on a plane and go to that cold place,
Where this box of treats would remind me that my father wasn't there.
I would rarely share or trade my sweets with other boys.
It felt somehow disloyal to my father.
Like i was trading away his love for some small favour.
But really these trophies were too precious for me to give away.

So years later, I think my fathers love may somehow still be in that box.
In that cold lonely room.
The box is now in my parents attic, full of photos and other memories.
The tie my 'friends' signed on the day I left that school, almost 9 years later.
But I wonder how to reclaim the love locked in that box.
Or reclaim the heart of the lonely, sad boy who only had those sweets to reassure him.
That his father still loved him... wanted him... that even though he was a plane ride away from home...
He still had a home...
Which was...
Where did he live?
Where was his home?
Because it felt like he lived in that cold school,
Filled with the shouts of angry men and wild boys...
While his home was somewhere he no longer lived...
It was somewhere he went to for "holidays"!
In that far away country
Which was safe, and warm but somehow
No longer... home.


And all these years later the gap between me and my father remains
Questions hang in the air like icicles
Ready to fall...
Where were you,
For all those years?
Why didn't you come and get me?
How did you think i would survive without your presence as I grew up, without your love, your advice, your guidance
The safety of being at home...

Let me tell you I managed
I packed my pain away in that box.
And I survived.
I endured the passing of the years,
the bullying, fear, neglect, shame and embarrassment
I didn't so much find a way through. I found a way out.
to a place the world couldn't hurt me.
A place within where i can say **** the world. **** this place and
******* all.
And in that place i felt relatively safe
It was tolerably intolerably

But now as a man.
As i approach my fiftieth year
I can count the cost of this 'safety'
A cost in joy, a cost in love, a cost in family, a cost in life!
Because the part of me hidden in that box isn't living.
It's existing.
And life has needed more from me than I've had to give.
I have needed the colours locked away safely in that box.
I've needed the range of emotion only they could afford
I've needed the courage in there
The joy, the willingness to meet life
And I've not had these things to hand.
They have been locked away... safe
But unused.
As the years toiled on
And life has ebbed away.
I have survived
But not really lived

So here i am at this threshhold of my life
No longer satisfied with the half life of limited pallette.

and I choose life
Choose Colour
Choose expression
Choose Presence
Choose love
Choose pain
Choose tears
Choose loss
l Choose heartbreak.
And i want to let this messy path carry me forward
To a place I do not recognise
And to a life where I can find an experience which
Feel warm enough, safe enough, fun enough, alive enough, where I feel loved enough, where I love enough to dare to dance enough with life to dare to belong enough to call that place
home.

And let me tell you brothers and sisters I wish you to meet me there With your colour, with your joy, your heartbreak, your life and the wisdom trawled from the depths of your despair .
(let us share what we're learned  in a place
where we can join hands and find union in each others souls.
find home in each other
find belonging in each others arms , in each others hearts.
lets rise together, lets heal together, lets **** together and lets love together, walk together, cry together, dance together, marry together , win lose and, die together
we can walk together towards the dawn of our next life  as we part this one full
full of Love of lifes experience, with laughter lines etched across our faces as we tell the stories of our ancestors to our children children.
lets us dance live love and die in glorious presence together with life.
let us be , let us learn , let us live lets live lets draw on the ******* walls and wear our pants on our heads. Let's call ******* on ******* just live our glourds bueauitful lives together in messy harmony.
lets belong together lets home together
lets world together lets joy together
lets  sit together in a puddle of our own tears
and call that place home
where we love our life enough to be broken by its despair
as our blood and tears mix together and we become the earth beneath us.
become the air around us
the fire in our hearts
the love in our bones.

Lets. Me and you. Lets go. Lets fly. Lets dream. Lets together. Lets lets LETS. Me and you. Me and YOU. Lets. TOGETHER. Forever and ever. Me and YOU. Hold my hand tight. Grip it tight. Don't let go ever.  Lets go far. Far away. Where nobody is. Deep in space me and you forever. Next to each other. Warmth and love. An endless dream. Where we dont wake up. Ever. Me and YOU. Forever and ever.

lets play music in our poems
lets hear it
lets play it
lets love it
lets make
music
lets mind dance
lets heart dance
lets go for it
in our bodies
lets do it
lets do it now
lets do it

Pick a stick.
Make music

lets be a gypsy of time.
lets sing aloud, unbothered by rhyme.

lets walk in rain.
lets get wet and forget all pain.

lets whistle to breeze.
lets let it blow and echo out of reach.

lets hide hope in all places.
lets stroll the world and leave its traces.

Hello?
Are you there?
Can you feel the wind pushing our bodies together?
Lets cut off all our hair and **** until daylight
Listen to our favorite songs until we don’t even need to sing along
I’ll let you trace my body on your sheets so you don’t suffer from bad dreams
If you’ll teach me how to run away
You’ve always been the best.
Lets carve new patterns in your palm
Like a maze keeping you in the moment
Lets allow the smoke to tear our lungs
Lets sing jazz and dance to silly love songs
Lets get high and dream up a world of our own
Lets kiss until we can’t tell the difference between our lips
Lets pretend that the clocks have stopped.
Lets embrace the imperfections and be honestly in love
Lets hide where no one will find us,
Because you’re the only person that I still trust.
Lets forget the ******* who didn’t believe
Never cry and keep a smile on your face
You can be the melody
I can be the bass
We can write our own reality into the night
We can finish each other’s sentences
And our history will be engraved
Into melted marble.

A spontaneous late night poem for my brothers and sisters in nerdom.....

I am a mudcrab,
Strangely out of place,
Where is my mudcrab love?

My sweet and perfect crustacean,
Come with me to a cozy inn by solitude,
Or down a warm, golden, path to a city of talented thieves,
Lets chase foxes,
Make fun of guards,
And get away with ******,

Lets think we are clever by cutting through the marked path,
Only to be blocked by snowed on mountains sprouting,
Lets hug the left wall to find our way back,
And scare away monsters with words we hear dragons shouting,

Lets laugh at how the Jarl sits like a lady,
Lets gripe about how the Agonians don't look as cool as they should,
Lets say that all the Stormcloaks are crazy,
And hope that one day they make a Star Wars game this good,

But in the end,
My hard shelled friend,
Lets return to our beloved swamp,
Where the giants and their mammoths don't stomp,

Lets gaze up at a sky that's not our own,
And count up our perks to show each other how much we've grown,
Since Helgen fell, and life was hell,

Lets share this road,
And be happy to note,
That at least we're no longer alone.

~Dovahkiin

Let's join a whistle band 
And light matches with our teeth 
Lets ask everyone when they lost track of Waldo 
Cuz I havent seen that ******* since the 10th grade 
Let's believe in all the superstitions 
A little luck is what we've been needing these days 
Lets eat sushi and climb on rooftops when we aren't supposed to 
Just so we can look at the white lights and hope that the height will give us a little clarity 
Lets ask long questions with long answers 
And know that to talk you also have to listen 
Let's watch creepy **** and wear socks with high heels 
We'll be class acts till the day we die 
Though not in the way everyone expects  
Let's spend way too much time together 
And cut through backyards in the snow 
Lets pay for our café  drinks in change 
And ask for favors because we're close 
Let's spill our guts and our laughs 
Because you're the only one who gets me 
Lets spell out words with pennies 
And decide life in ****** thrift store dressing rooms 
Let's cry and be sad 
With the promise to be happy 
And healed when the other is near 
Lets rip up t-shirts 
And change the radio in each others cars 
Let's take a million memories 
And expect the best out of life and gelato ice cream
Let's dry up flowers in the summer to look at in the winter 
And wear too many rings on our fingers 
Let's hang out with ****** 
And rent a red convertible for the summer 
Lets read books and watch Mulan
And take walks and get together just so we can nap
Lets play assassins creed 
And listen to Bon Iver (or Bone Eyever) 
And take a break from thinking too much all the time 
Lets join a whistle band 
And light matches with our teeth Because all of this has meant more to me than a million everythings