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Pagan Paul  Dec 2018
Henry VIII
Pagan Paul Dec 2018
Henry VIII was a deluded monarch,
he could never have ruled the Earth,
for he hasn't seen his **** for years,
hiding beneath the bulk of his girth.

And wobbling onto the battle field
is not the behaviour fit for a King,
he would have to sit nursing his cysts
and hoping the ointments don't sting.

His eating excess was cause for concern
but his syphilis remained largely unseen,
and one really has to feel so sorry for
whomever it is that is currently Queen.

His penchant for young and younger Ladies
made him a stranger to baths and soap,
and his bed hopping antics to sire a son
bought him much trouble from the pope.

© Pagan Paul (09/12/18)
Irreverent look at history :)
Steve Page Jul 2016
There're swords,
lots of them,
and long-bows,
with fresh, eager arrows
jostle with notched expert axes;

legendary hair frame braided beards
flowing into refilled tankards
drowning curses through broken teeth
gnawing at poor personal hygiene
across the stench of the public tavern
as granite-stares challenge
bone-shattering laughter.
All as anticipated -
there's Orcs about
and the prescribed heroes assemble.
Slow rolling leaden mist cloaks howling creatures at dawn
from deep within the forest,
then disabling rain falls at dusk
and steel clashes with steel in the storm…
All these exploits ferment short of full strength
and stretch onto a wide Winter screen
before facing the final critical battle
for a 12A Christmas.
Inspired by Peter Jackson
Jon Thenes Mar 23
be more thorough
with your dental hygiene
lest the breath
behind the breath
get out
and things become vetinary
must have brushed teeth
zero  Nov 2017
zero Nov 2017
Ashen doves float within the waves,
slinking like silent demons in the night.
They curl around my body,
jaws operating like steel machines,
gnashing at my limbs.
I begin to scream for help,
but they ****** my breath,
they drag me under their tides of black,
unleashing my unremitting fear of water predators.
their teeth, sunken into my flesh,
gnawing at my mind,
painting me my new mortality.

These are my demons,
the sharks in the bath when it comes to hygiene.
the fear of the below and the depths of human mentality,
the untraceable percentage of human worthlessness,
the detestable attraction to the demise of our minds,

I float lower into the aqua,
pressure building,
unforgiving and foreboding
I close my lids, and dream of the sand,
praying it to be underfoot when I open my eyes,
but when my lids open, the doves loom closer.

The irony of a hydrophobe,
dying at the hands of the sharks.
The fear of the ocean is the greatest fear I know.
zane b  Dec 2018
zane b Dec 2018
feet covered by thread
vulnerability barred
from my sleep hygiene
Planejane2 Jun 11
Good morning handsome

Good morning handsome

Good morning handsome
As you tell me good morning beautiful at 5:30 everyday.

I was having a good dream but you awoke me with the birds and the bees.
I wake up and prayed as I was trying to establish a daily routine.

Pray, bathroom, gratitude, read, hygiene...
but I still wanna go to sleep because I stayed up til 5 am and you asked me did I wanna stay a lol longer and I said yes.

I love you soooo much,
But I should’ve chose what was best
For me.

I love you so much but
I can’t pour into your 10 cups
You gotta get on your own two knees.

I was broken before
RhTs, that’s why I poured.
But I have a cousin who randomly called me out the blue last night and said I am not the one who can save him.

Those crown royal shackle chains  
He have to break fun from.
I know you run fast
So do it as quickly and fast as you can.

I can drop all the hints in the world
But it still doesn’t matter if you’re not the one to ask me to be your girl.

It doesn’t matter if you are not the one to acknowledge it and surrender
Because one thing I’ve noticed on this self love journey is that you HAVE to be whole for oneself, yourself.

You can’t depend on anybody else
Just like somebody to help you go, got to sleep or help you wake up.

You are a spoiled brat lol
It’s okay lil pup.

I can’t wait for the day that we get to talk about and share each other’s buzzard, buzzard, bizarre ways
But we understand because all along we were always having distant memories.

You don’t know what the hell you like,
Well try this show called Black Mirror.
I know, it’s kinda hard to look at yourself
But if you look on the shelf. Tell me what episode stands out to you.  Hopefully it means so much as it means to me for you. (Revise)

You asked me what my goals, inspiration, muse is....

It’s to be an educator. A facilitator, to get you the help you need.

I’m not good at ending poems and I wanna say I love you, but I think sincerely planejane2 will do.
D Awanis May 20
My dear sister, I’m sorry I wasn’t there
When they call you names and harass your crown on the street
When they tell you what you should or shouldn’t do with your body

My dear sister, I’m sorry I wasn’t there
When they pluck your honey against your will yet they tell them you enjoy it
When they touch your skin yet they left it bleeding and bruised

My dear sister, I’m sorry I wasn’t there
When they want you to cover your scars and pimples because they don’t meet the “beauty” standards
When they forcibly ask you to shave your hair because it doesn’t potray cleanliness and hygiene

My dear sister, I’m sorry I wasn’t there
When your rose is blooming and the moon is come but they show you their cold shoulders
When they make fun of your shape and laugh it off but they refuse to make a clean breast of it as an insult

Thus rise, dear sister
—for your pain is mine to carry
—for your wound is mine to mend
—for your war is mine to fight
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