I wish i could write to you about how i see things and how i feel in a way that hasnt been said that hasnt been wrote that hasnt been thought.
Why are we so mechanic that we cant do anything that is just our own?
Yes we dont feel what each other feels but its so similar it might as well be the same.
I wish i could take you to a world that you havent ever seen before that hasnt ever been imagined with creatures that hasnt already been brought into existence.
Why is it we cant even think on our own?
Even what we make believe is just copy cat to what has been made up before.
Even children dont have the talent anymore.
I want to give you something new.
I yurn for something new.
I beg the heavens for something new.
I cry myself to sleep to dream of something new.
I just need something new.

only the moon knew her darkest secrets, the depth of her thought was the deepest, up all night, its something she does frequent, she's an angel from heaven, that fell for a demon, a beautiful image, turned into a broken spirit, constant arguments and disagreements,
her smile held pain, but she stuck to concealment, because her friends and the world were incoherent, I got to see her smile one day, ever since then, nothing has been the same,
she no longer puts that same smile on her face, she once felt grace, but it turned to disgrace, the beauty she holds is inexplainable, the purity in her soul is gold, yet unattainable, because she no longer holds trust,
what she thought was love, turned into lust,,an addicting drug, that having is a must, the magical feeling, turned into dust, she misses the memories, kisses, and hugs, now she confides in her own sorrow, asking god for a better tomorrow, he gives her a light to follow, but her own pride is hard to swallow, A beautiful intelligent female, who felt love through the most intimate detail,
at school she was the most diligent female, filled in amazing aspects, and assets, but she continues to feel the absence, and still doesnt comprehend the circumstances,
for his actions, of dissatisfaction,
still to this day hasnt changed her reaction, the biggest heart break shes ever dealt with, it was minor to him, but her heart really felt it, like a beautiful ice sculpture, she melted,
and there I was the person to who she vented, staring deep into her dark brown eyes, i saw what nobody else saw, deep deep inside, she was wise at mind, i searched more within, as the sun rised, a beautiful lonely girl, that told me under the stars and moonlight,
"hold me close and never let go."
i was there to carefully listen,
she opened up like a book.
after she looked up to me and said i was different, that i just might be what her heart was missin,
her eyes and smile once again glistened, i told her,
"look at the stars, look how they shine for you, until the stars in the sky shine no more, i'll always be there, until the end of time for you."

Sarah
Sarah is a virgo
 but she is no ******.

She is full of experience,

and im not talking about ***, or drugs.

( though she had her fair share.)

Im talking about life.

Sarah hasnt lived in a fairy tale,

but if she did,
 she would be a prince.

She is charming,

bold,

kind,

and tenacious.

Sarah would **** a dragon

just to make sure you were safe.

She will make you laugh,

and iron soap,

Dancing as she watches you with

her precious knowledge of Amity.

Sarah will hold you when you cry,

and she will tell you its okay to be sad.

Sarah had her vision turn gray when she was a child;

words tore at her skin,

but she is still alive.

Her vision turned back to technicolor

but that doesn’t mean it won’t turn back to gray.

Sarah dosent like to talk about herself,

but you can talk to her,

She will help you see the world.

If you can’t see the flowers

Sarah will hold your hand and 
sing you a picture.

Sarah holds all of her friends,

there names taped to the front of her heart.

She plants her seed of friendship

deep in the roots of your garden.

You dont need to meet her more than once,

you can tell that she is always there.


Sarah can be mean,

but thats just cause shes tired.

Sarah carries the troubles she has with her,

they are wrapped with the sign 
“do not enter”

but she dosen’t let them weigh her down.

Sarah dosent ask for help 
she is given it,

and she will always return the favor

but she will complain about you giving

even before you finish your task.

Sarah is a mystery,

She smokes a lot of 
cigarettes

but she still

smells like 

Sarah.


She is far from perfect,

she animates her life with overdramatic hand movements

and tells her wisdom with sonnets or

Monologues from act i scene ii,

She plays overtures from her heart,

and talks lyrics from her soul.


Sarah is a musical of a life 
full of future.

She is a name in lights 
not yet recognized.

Sarah hasn’t finished her life yet,
but she is the lines

of poetry, and songs

not yet written.

Sarah adds years to peoples lives.

Sarah is a friend,

and im happy to know her

even if a short minute of her hourglass

is all I ever see.

the air between the notes
as they rush out of my throat
remind me of static granuals,
the comfort of a quiet signal
that hasnt yet reached the tv

she's yelling at her reflection
as tears run down her pretty face
"you're happy, you're ******* happy"
she screams at the mirror
"you're ******* HAPPY
you have parents
and a home
a boyfriend
and a best friend
so what if daddy's packing his bags
and he's forgotten all the promises he made
and mommy's stopped talking
isolating herself from everyone
even her little girl
and that life under your roof is a living hell
because everyones coexisting
but no one speaks to each other besides over text
so what if your boyfriend lives miles away
you don't get to hug him everyday
it kills you knowing you can't hold him close
and that your best friend hasnt eaten in weeks
her hair's begun to fall out and and she's lost her personality
you have money and shelter and resources
you rich *****
BE HAPPY"

Snow white said when i was young
My prince would come
So i wait
For that date
It still hasnt come
This isnt very fun
Hearts breaking
Everyone faking
Snow white lied
I've tried
But ive never found my prince charming
I guess his out farming
Somewhere all alone
Probably without a phone
Ill never get to meet you
And get my glass shoe
A slipper on my a heel
I guess ill never feel
Because you dont excist
Life couldnt be that bliss
I guess ill find someone that will do
But he will never be as good as you

Most nights I dont have to wish for her to keep me warm,
my blankets embrace me just as softly but they dont squeeze my ribs the same.
One time my grandfather told me when I was really young that a woman can never be  anything less than everything shes supposed to be, and that if its your woman your job is to see that through. I like to think if maybe I could rewind time about 3 years and somehow manipulate all 3 of our timelines enough that you would get to meet him and hear his laugh, or get a nickname from him and be able to tell me if my hugs feel like his cause ive never felt safer than those moments.
I never wanted to take you from your family and I feel each day they like me less and I like you more.
Marriage is a weird concept to me and ive never been sure if its what I want, its no fear of commitment or fear of missing out on anything but it just seems silly to me. non essential even.
I dont know but I know that standing in the doorway to my bathroom and looking her in the eyes as my breaths matched hers Ive never been more positive of who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with,
of who I want to watch our friends grow old with,
of who I want to argue over song lyrics with ( and lose ) forever,
of who I want to be the one I trust with the things im afraid of telling myself,
of the one whos poison I would drink if the last words I heard were
"I love you b"
Ive never been happier to be called disgusting by anyone than when they refer to the unreasonable amount of attachment and affection we have for each other,
I have NEVER cried more over anyone other than my grandfather and thats because ive never met anyone more monumentally important in my life I like to think my grandfather would be so proud of the woman you are, someone with a voice and soul, someone with  a warm heart filled with cold winters and the same unrestful home life he knew I had and tried to sing me through with songs and nicknames, I can never know the struggles you had, I can never feel your pain or rub away the scars, but I just want to make you smile and hear you sing, I just want to kick it in Australia with a blunt in my mouth while I watch you dip your toes in the sea and know your love is just as expansive, nobody gets to decide who they need in their life, as I dig this hole with each smiling shovel of dirt she pushes a little back in, sneakily slowing my progress and saving my soul there is nothing greedy about my love but encompassing is an all to applicable adjective
tell your father im sorry his little girl isnt home every night anymore, and tell your mom im sorry that im the reason you guys dont hang out,
tell your niece im sorry i keep randomly showing up and asking her weird questions,
tell your cat to keep your bed warm for me cause I know you tend to feel ghost chills in the absence of your best friends curls,
tell your baggage theres tons of room in my closet,
tell your Ex's that they are history, not to be forgotten and their impact is forever but their opinions are irrelevant,
I dont know why im so dependant on you, or ****, or the ******* sunsets in the sky but there hasnt been a day when death hasnt seemed easier, but there also hasnt been a day when I have felt ready to give any of this up and I want you to know that there is nothing on this god ****** planet I wont do to make sure youre safe,
do you remember when I walked to your house just to read words to you from a dictionary?
I think back to ten months ago and smile at the way things were,
the best parts of our memories shine the brightest and the stresses of our day to days stay hidden behind the rays of good memories, the stresses of today will soon be eclipsed by good memories,
dont let the whispers in your mind tear at your heart and Ill do my best to silence mine,
there will be doubts and there will be struggles but never doubt that my grandfather blessed me with the strength to help you become everything you are meant to be and ill be here till the day we figure out the afterlife,
and if you figure it out before me im not saying ill last a month or a week even but ill do my damndest to make sure people know about your curls and skin and voice and mind,
I never want to live a day i cant tell you about,
I never want to see the world without the sound of your laugh filling the wind in my ears,
I never want to take a breath you couldnt breathe and if I ever have to I might just break.
tonight I wish she was here to keep me warm,

this kind of 3am is not for the happy ravers
nor the lovers asleep in each others arms
this 3am is the boy in your maths class with the sad eyes
and the girl who hasnt eaten in a week

afraid that if they fall asleep
they will fall in love
with the peacefulness
of the dark