Now that you are out of my life,
I'm so much better off,
You thought that I'd be weak without you,
But I'm stronger,
You thought that I'd be broke without you,
But I am wealthy.
You thought that I'd be sad without you,
I am laughing,
You thought I wouldn't grow without you,
Now I'm enlightened ,
You thought that I'd be helpless without you,
But I'm a genius,
You thought that I'd be stressed without you,
But I'm relaxing'
You thought I wouldn't have friends with you,
I have many.


I'm an FBI agent (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm an FBI agent(what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm an FBI agent(what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm an FBI agent (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).


Thought I couldn't breathe without you,
I'm taking deep breaths'
You thought I couldn't see without you,
2020,
You thought I couldn't last without you,
But I am loving'
You thought that I would die without you,
**** the Autopsy room'
Thought that I would fail without you,
But I'm on flourishing
Though it would be over by now,
But it won't stop,
You thought that I would self-destruct,
But I'm non-suicidal,
Even in my years to come,
I'm still going to be here.


I'm an FBI agent (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm an FBI agent (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm an FBI agent(what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm an FBI agent(what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).


I'm wishin' you the best,
Pray that you are well,
Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna blast you on Facebook,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not going lie about you or your family,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna hate you in the blog,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna compromise my Buddhism and integrity.
(I'm better than that)
You know I'm won’t  disrespect you on cyber space
Cause my ama-la taught me better than that.

[Chorus:]
I'm an FBI agent  (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm an FBI agent(what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm an FBI agent(what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm an FBI agent(what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).

After all of the darkness and sadness,
Still comes happiness,
If I surround myself with positive things,
I'll gain prosperity.


I'm an FBI agent (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm an FBI agent (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm an an FBI agent(what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what)(Don't stop me now)
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm an FBI agent (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).




I'm an FBI agent(what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm an FBI agent(what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm an FBI agent (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a FBI agent(what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).

This one's for me
and I'm gonna watch it burn.
Watch it flicker and pop and crackle and spit.
Gonna take lessons on how to dance with the draft,
also hoping she doesn't ******* out.
I'll make poems out of smoke and shadows
and fading, lonesome, sepia-tone summer photographs.
I want to make dusty picture frames feel like well-loved tuxedos.
I'm gonna see if candlelight can be all the company I need to keep.
Gonna sweep this floor clean,
like it's not what we say, it's what we mean
between the lines of
one too-polished table setting:
one knife,
one spoon,
but two forks for wishful thinking.
I'm gonna eat my fill
and fill my cup again and again,
to the point that I begin to make conversation
with my reflection in the bathroom mirror.
I'll tell that *******, "My friend, you are drunk."
and he'll tell me, "Kid, look who's talking."
Then it'll be back to a glass
that treats its brim like a suggestion.
Gonna have whisky and black lager and champagne
'til my toes and thumbs tingle.
Thin blooded and numbed;
Steeled by my father's novocain.
Come morning, this house couldn't get more hollow.

In these hallowed halls where I wallow in the way that
I only seem to appreciate the preciousness of days
Once they've passed,
here's what I'm gonna do:
I'm gonna write questions on one side of the wooden window blinds,
and write punchlines to completely unrelated jokes on the other.
I don't know why. Maybe just to **** with people.

I'm gonna reminisce with full streets of ghosts
That glow like kerosene lamp posts
all the while, stomping my feet, just to prove that I can.
Gonna make toasts to the isolated;
to the quarantined and the misanthropes.
I'll boast that lovers are not unlike poachers,
but I'm not gonna mention that in every other under-cover dream
I seem to swoon like ivory elephant tusks.
I'm gonna gamble on Dusk
because I think it's got a little less honesty,
but a little more promise than its
attention-*******, good-for-nothing, go-getter big sister Dawn does.
That flirtations *****.
Gonna give Christian names to half drawn caricatures
of people who only ever existed when the lights died out
and the snow fell heavy.

I'm gonna let the levies break.
I'll go insane, just ******* lose it--
do the Boot-Scoot-'n'-Boogie in a onesie
with the hind flap flying free and the Greek Theatre masks of
Comedy and Tragedy painted on my *** cheeks,
(because no one should ever take their art too seriously)
And I'm even not gonna even care who sees,
partially because there's no one around to watch anyway,
but mostly because I want,
more than anything, to just be me.
Or at least I want to want that.
See, I read somewhere that,
"You should always be yourself…
unless you can be a unicorn,
then always be a unicorn."
And that really struck home for me because,
even though I've never really ached to be
the ******* love child of a Narwhal and Zebra
(In my imagination, unicorns are
striped and impecable swimmers)
I truly believe that Men will always dream of being Titans
and Titans will always dream of being Gods
and Gods want nothing more than to be Wind--
to twist with lit candle sticks
and teach the lonesome how to dance.

A one-step waltz tip-toed to distract.

But the fact is, I'm bound to take a few back steps.
I'm gonna think about her.
Gonna harbor hard feelings towards back bedroom dealings
that I have no right knowing about.
Gonna pray like a desperate atheist
that they keep their knees locked in a one night stand.
I might break down.
Only once, just long enough to regain my strength.
Then I'll tame the earthquakes in my hands, like I always do.
Gonna find what it takes to move on.
Not just regenerate, but to grow stronger than I ever was before.
So I'm gonna meticulously straighten these place settings:
One knife.
One spoon.
A healthy dose of wishful thinking.
Gonna try my hand again at dancing with the back draft;
I heard she's been aching for a duet,
and with all the life of candlelight
I'm gonna ignite the coal shafts beneath my eyes.
Gonna finally see me as the man I am,
not the titan I wish to be,
because I heard somewhere that,
"You should always be yourself…
Especially when all you've known
all you've ever shown
is some mythology."
So raise your glass because this one?
This one's for me.

When I close my eyes;
and slip into the flashback,
I lose myself into the darkness;
where old memories attack.

I got my heart bleeding;
losing my thoughts to oblivion,
all I can feel is numb;
holding a vacuum within.

It gave me the deepest cut;
gonna be the darkest scar,
as the legacy of pain;
its gonna reside in my heart.

Its gonna turn into a hollow spot;
of all the pain that I never talk about,
yeah, it’s something that breaks me down;
but am gonna rise again, gotta cut it out.

Like it was never a part of mine;
that I have tried so much to hide,
its gonna fade away along with time;
won’t be haunting me anymore inside.

But it gave me the deepest cut;
gonna be the darkest scar,
as the legacy of pain;
its gonna reside in my heart.

When I close my eyes;
and slip into the flashback,
I lose myself into the darkness;
where old memories attack.

I got my heart bleeding;
losing my thoughts to oblivion,
all I can feel is numb;
holding a vacuum within.

It gave me the deepest cut;
gonna be the darkest scar,
as the legacy of pain;
its gonna reside in my heart.

Its gonna turn into a hollow spot;
of all the pain that I never talk about,
yeah, it’s something that breaks me down;
but am gonna rise again, gotta cut it out.

Like it was never a part of mine;
that I have tried so much to hide,
its gonna fade away along with time;
won’t be haunting me anymore inside.

But it gave me the deepest cut;
gonna be the darkest scar,
as the legacy of pain;
its gonna reside in my heart.

When I close my eyes;
and slip into the flashback,
I lose myself into the darkness;
where old memories attack.

I got my heart bleeding;
losing my thoughts to oblivion,
all I can feel is numb;
holding a vacuum within.

It gave me the deepest cut;
gonna be the darkest scar,
as the legacy of pain;
its gonna reside in my heart.

Its gonna turn into a hollow spot;
of all the pain that I never talk about,
yeah, it’s something that breaks me down;
but am gonna rise again, gotta cut it out.

Like it was never a part of mine;
that I have tried so much to hide,
its gonna fade away along with time;
won’t be haunting me anymore inside.

But it gave me the deepest cut;
gonna be the darkest scar,
as the legacy of pain;
its gonna reside in my heart.

© Shreya ♥