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Em MacKenzie Aug 2018
The “dear” is just a formality and lack of term. I was at a loss for how to address you. I wrote a card for Ma on this site, so I figured it only appropriate I write one for you. Except, this isn’t a birthday “card” for you. This is my birthday "card."

My sister told me you dropped off my birthday card at her house. Two days early. I would chalk it up to one of your few redeeming qualities, your over the top punctuality, but I know the truth: you were in her area to go to the bar, possibly with my uncle, and thought you’d get your obligatory “fatherly” duty out of the way.  God forbid you would actually make the effort to see me, or my new place, which I’ve lived in for eight months now.

My girlfriend’s parents have been asking me what I want for my birthday for over a month. I’m currently waiting for Link’s Master Sword in the mail from them when it occurred to me that they know me, and care to know me, more than you ever have in my twenty-nine years of existence.

When we see each other, the semi-annual times we do now, there’s three things you talk to me about because it’s all you know about me:

“Jeeze, the Senators are having a rough season.” Hockey:  1 point.

“Did you see Paul McCartney’s latest video with _?” Beatles/Music: 1 point.

“I’ve learned Vincent by Don McLean on guitar, could you play that on your bass?” Musician: 1 point.

To simplify me as those three points is disappointing and pretty pathetic as you’ve been around my entire life. You know absolutely nothing about me, and it seems you don’t care to know anything else. I couldn’t fathom having children and not knowing them, and I can’t imagine not wanting to know them. Maybe one day you’ll see this, so I decided to let you know who I am.

1. I wrote my first poem at eleven; it was probably complete garbage. I remember sitting in social studies class and out of boredom, unleashing my thoughts into rhymes. I showed it to Ma, and she was so proud she hung it up in her office for years.
2. My favourite colour (cliche, I know) is usually peacock blue- unless it’s mixed with another blue. But I love all bright colours, especially red, green, purple and gold.
3. I always wanted to play hockey and football, but you guys were both such alcoholics you never thought to enroll me in anything as a child. Now my knee is too sensitive to play any sports.
4. Speaking of my knee, it’s a disease called osker-schlatz (spelling) which is a calcium build up inbetween my knee cap. When I was sixteen, our doctor told me if I hit it too many times (the pain level is a 10 when that occurs) I run the risk of losing circulation and needing an amputation.
5. I’ve been a vegetarian (except for turkey and the odd chicken) more than half my life. I stopped eating meat at thirteen: so please, stop buying me gift certificates to The Keg at Christmas. The last one I used to eat an appetizer and drink.
6. I hate drinking, and it’s mainly because of you. I remember being a child and wondering why you both would rather drink than spend time with your kids. At eight I made a promise to never have my own children feel that way.
7. I'm half deaf, but I have impeccable eye sight. It's a weird, cruel balance.
8. I play the bass guitar, yes, but I also know how to play the six string electric. I knew how to play guitar ten years before you learned. I also want to learn the drums and piano one day.
9. I plan to one day get my piloting license. I always wanted to be a fighter pilot in the military,  because I have such recklessness for my own life that I think I could be one of the best pilots in the world if given the chance.
10. I am a drug addict. I remember as a teen smoking **** in my room and when mom would ask about the smell, you would cover for me and say it was the candle I lit. Thank you for that. But what you don’t know is that at fifteen I tried my first oxycodone and realized it was the best feeling I would ever experience. For years I would snort pills in my room, a mere few feet away from you guys. One night I had probably railed ten pills and passed out with half of a Fuzzy Peaches candy cane in my mouth. I should’ve died that night but I didn’t.
11. After Ma died I realized you can miss someone being overprotective of you. I used to come home so ****** up that I could’ve overdosed, you never noticed because you were too drunk yourself. I remember lying on the floor of my basement thinking if I was going to overdose, you wouldn’t realize until my body started to smell. You might not even notice, then.
12. I know you stole my inheritance from ma, and I know you tried to claim it under my name in taxes. A week before she died Kate and I begged her to sign the house into our names, that you would let it go to **** and sell it when in need of a quick buck. She reassured us you weren't getting a cent, but she wouldn't leave you homeless. I was right. Not only that, but you had Kate and I sign something a day after mom died, it was boxing day was a bank even open? Who focuses on financial matters less than twenty-four hours after losing the person they loved?
13. In relation to #12, I found the will. You wouldn't give it to me when school needed it to allow me to redo my semester (thanks for that, btw.) and I saw a bright red flag when you said "they don't need it." That's how I know that you stole the money left for Kate and I. I always thought $80,000 wasn't "a lot" in mom's words. What bothers me the most out of the whole situation is that you actually believe you could outsmart me. The extra $200 grand would be swell, but I do not put a price on my pride like you.
14. Once more, I have the original copy of the will. I stole it when you were drunk, drove to a twenty-four hour Shoppers and photocopied that ****. You have the copy. I have the original.
15. Everyone thinks it's weird that you are marrying a woman who has the same name as Ma. God, will she take our last name? It's strange that you are still wearing your mask for them five years in. Doesn't it get tiring not showing who you truly are? Or is she that big of a loser that she knows and is staying regardless?
16. I remember the two times I almost died as an infant, and I remember it was because of your carelessness and lack of interest in my existence.
17. I'm thinking of auditioning for a musical. I've always wanted to, and if I can time it right, maybe I'll knock something off my bucket list.
18. My biggest fear is becoming you. I hate that my physical attributes come from you, and so does my more mild and quiet nature. When Kate wants to wound me in a fight she refers to me as you. I hate it more than anything.
19. I've wanted to end my life, I've even gotten so far as to write a note twice. Neither time were you addressed, or mentioned. I figured you wouldn't read it and you wouldn't care.
20. It just dawned on me that you'll never read this either, and if you did, you still wouldn't care.

I have a father but not a dad.  Could he even write 20 things to say to me, if given the chance?
Extremely personal again. Just wanted to get it out. Sorry for the harsh vibes.
Oh Savoir faire,
the emotions you share
with your heart and your mind
let me know we are truly two of a kind.
This woman you speak of, the love of your life
is a destination you seek when she is your wife.
A goal set in motion by your mother and me
from a memory you have, age two perhaps three
lights the path of your journey
so you're not traveling blind
oh Savoir fair we must be
two of a kind.
Love you Son keep on writing

-Patrick D. O'Connor SR.-
My father wrote this to me in response to ****** story
Sitting in the car
Waiting for traffic to move
The cold rain tumbling down the window
The drops collide into a single line.
Inside my father and I wait in the warm heat.

We probably just left to get pizza,
Or Chinese food,
A regular Friday night.

The sound of the radio hums softly in the background.
The soft rumbling of the engine.
The drumming of the rain.

Not a word is spoken
between my father and I,
Each of us just ******* up the silence.
Breathing peacefully.

Over the radio comes a song.
A little old, though well known.
Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wehoweh, wimoweh.

We both know this song.
Grinning we turn the radio up.
Singing along. Dancing along.
Um-um-a-weh.

With each beat of the drum
My father touches the brake.
Quickly, rapidly
Making the car ****.

The car behinds us honks the horn
Making us laugh harder.
My dad persists.
Continuing in this child’s play.

Suddenly it doesn’t matter,
that it is pouring, or
that we are stuck in traffic.
It only matters that we are having fun.

The song ends.
The radio gets turned back down.
We return to our former silent state.
AAYARA ZAYN Jul 2018
when i get home
I realize that my father is there
holding and caressing my little sister
and not even looking at me
I feel like i am alone
i run upstairs like a athlete
not wanting to see it
but my hungry stomach does not allows it
slowly walking down
i see they haven't finished it
why ??
why does he not love me like my little sister
why??
does he hate me

TODAY
I am wild with fury and anger
today i will  hit her
my little sister and
slap her like nobody else
so, so so
i pulled her hair
slapped across her face
but then my dad slapped my face
i did not care about that
i bite her trying to beat
the **** out of her
i did not realize that
i was willing to beat my little sister
but then my dad pushed me
and
started yelling at me while caressing her
seeing this i kicked on my little sis legs
and she wailed out
crying
then taking initiative
my dad got up from his place
grabbed my arms
and then
took me upstairs
pushing me inside
he yelled at me saying
"you ! how dare you beat my daughter, your little sis like that"
"you are not welcome in my family anymore"
i spoke"I wanted you  , you to be my side
wanted you to kiss me hold me like you do to her
am I asking the inferior thing"
he said "even if that was the reason
you should not have done that"
i said "i know and i am sorry"
then
he looked at me  with fury in his face
 and then raised his hand to slap me
i knew he was gonna hit me
but  then he grabbed  and pulled me into his arm
and said "you could have asked that"
he hugged me tight
and kissed my cheek
and just slightly kissed my lips
and told me"this kiss is our secret,
so now apologize to your little sister"
i was more than happy so i asked "can I get my kisses and hugs anytime I want"
he replied me by kissing and hugging me
then suddenly i realized
the person who secretly send me birthday gift was him
the fairy who looked after me when i was sick was him
the one who held my hands during thunder was him
oh! god why did not realized it sooner
i was dumber than I thought i was
slowly walking down the spiral staircase
i asked my sister for forgiveness
and she  forgave me
then( aftermath)
i walked into kitchen finding my father
cooking dinner
i asked "do you need any help"
and he directed me what to do
we were a happy family
and we are still a happy family
BIT OF LONG  SORRY FOR THAT
Cassius  Apr 2012
Father Time
Cassius Apr 2012
You've been there forever
As long as anyone can remember
I remember seeing you at birth
You reached your arms around me
And swallowed me with all your girth
You passed my days as an infant
With acceleration it seems
For those days I cant remember much
But you were always my mean
As expected, You were always there
And I cant say that I'm mad
But I cant say that I'll say the same
On the days that you act bad
You'll be right here one day
But I cant say the same for the next
For all I know is someday
I'll look to you and say "what the heck?"
Miss Saitwal Jun 2018
They bruise their pupils with the sharp roses.
They built an empire with fur and sequins.
And lived with poise and jealousy.
Burnt and alive, torn yet together.
The prudent of all, dangerous of all minds.

Survive, said the father
Believe, said the Jesus
Olga Valerevna Jan 2017
when hatred has swallowed reality's heels
and hearts lie in mud to decay in the fields
confusion is thrown on the eyes of the lost
in blanketed statements and powerless thoughts

when blood pours like water from everyone's bones
and Love is a fire with nowhere to go
the veins in our bodies will slowly unwind
to show us The Truth in the passing of time

when clocks are reset at the cost of the past
and our days are no longer counted as last
humanity's years will mean nothing at all
Our Father is missing, Our Mother is gone
title and inspiration taken from From Indian Lakes', "Our Father is Missing"
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