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DT Brunner  May 4
Special
DT Brunner May 4
Special is the word they use when they talk about me

They assume that my diagnosis fully defines me

Sometimes I wish I could only be heard and not seen

That’s what I often think about when I daydream
MalakF  Jul 2018
{Thirty Three}
MalakF Jul 2018
I have no reason to be sad.
I have food on my table,
I live in a luxurious stable,
I’m not disabled nor financially unstable.
Everything I want, I had.
So please explain to me how I went all bad?
M-E Apr 5
The first thing
I do
is looking at you
What can
I do
without looking
at you

looking at
this misshapen slide
that little children
abused; inside
in the playground

and the zit
that protruded on the
summit of your nose
and Oh, NO
it exploded as a volcano

looking
at this nevus that
made of your face
an hotel room
above your upper lip
and stayed there
for ever. No tips
and whatsoever

those two dishes
recepting and
looking at
two different
satellites

and all of your imperfections
and insecurities.

Just wash my face
and smile.
Daan Vandelay  Jan 2014
Six
Daan Vandelay Jan 2014
Six
The first meeting of eyes made me see
how cute a particular being can be.
I glanced at her glancing, stared at
her staring, kissed her cheek and saw

every single peek. Soon I knew what
was going on, it was impossible love
in its prettiest form. Not forbidden by law,
but frowned upon and disabled by social norm.

There were other girls, but not quite as
cute, like she was a snake and I played
the flute, but she loved her basket, straight
from the heart and I was just a new part

of a different puzzle, for a different day.
I wanted to love you, if only I may.
I am waiting for the day of love, 22 marching soldiers saluting your ways of being who you are.

I've grown up and stopped behaving like that, thankfully (2019 edit)
Trout  Sep 4
S
Trout Sep 4
S
A list of words I cannot ever say
But I will have to say them every day
I am supposed to practice saying ice
Ice with spice and six o’clock
I will lie and say I did it all
But they all know my tongue will always fall

I googled it to find out what I do
My speech impediment is sadly true
I haven’t done anything about it since
My speech therapist gave me the final mint
I hated it, and it was all suppressed
But now I tell it, I always confess

I wonder if I do it without thought
Am I saying it right or am I not
And no one ever says a thing to me
(Except the boy I crushed on, that one week)
I don’t know if it changes who I am
But I’d still be better off talking like a normal man

It’s something that a lot of people have
But the harsher term makes me inexplicably glad
“Speech impediment”, now I’m special too
Deviancy just like my missing tooth

I always sing even though it sounds weird
Sometimes I avoid the words I’ve always feared
Not “just” the “sea” but “change”, “commotion” too
Especially when I read I’m conscious of how my tongue moves.
Not just that, but I spit and stutter
All my “spreading” is full of clutter
The judge says “Clear”, I have to try
But I could lose the debate, and feel like dying

I know I should grow out of it as a child
But habits stick after so many miles
Along with my disproportionately small hands
And legs and everything that makes me feel like no man’s land
Between a kid and the way I should be
At the age of seventeen
I wish it didn’t change who I am
(Is it just another reason I can’t find a man?)
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