Dae ibig sabihon
na tuninong
dae na maogma.

Dae ibig sabihon
na itom,
demonyo ka na.

Dae ibig sabihon na
habo mo sa tao,
mayo ka ng kwenta.

Kung dae mo siya
maintindihan,
respetohan mo
an desisyon niya.

Dae mo pwersahon
an sadiri mo
sa sarong tao.

Ako an tao
na mas gustong
hilingon an kinaban
sa mata kan taong
nasasabatan ko,
arog kan pagabot mo,
yaon ka nanaman
pinapagirumdum sako
na an buhay kan tao
halipot lang.

An duros na hali
sa langit pasiring
sa itom na háwak
asin nagsasakop sa
palibot kan kandila,
An makakan hanggan
sa madiklom
an palibot.

Hanggan sa pagpikit.

Tuninong na boses,
Magian na háwak,
Matagas na boot,
Magayon na numero,
asin kanta na dae
mo mapugolan itao
saimo kan mánlaén-láen
na tao.

Hanggang sa maghinghíng
saimo an kinaban nin:

"Maogmáng Compleaño, Ermano!"

You can call me Po-dae
if you’re Korean…
hic! – you got every right to mispronounce it if you aren’t;
and the Japanese might call me – hic! –
Hotei…hic! hic!
And of course those ancient Indians
in their radiant romantic way might call me Laxmi
(but then they’re too reverent, those Indians
and you can’t joke about any these days)
but me – hic! hic! – hey call me Po-dae
and yes, the more erudite of you might know
or the Indians out here would have guessed by association –
HIC! HIC!
yep- I’m the good god of fortune, ancient drunkard!
(That guy who wrote “The Richest Man in Babylon”
he asks you to court the Goddess of Fortune –
Silly ******! He doesn’t know Goddesses don’t drink, does he?
Ah, well modern *** Goddesses might smoke and drink,
and all that)  -
but hey, I’m Po-dae - HIC ! HIC! – fill up that cup and invite me in
and I’ll give  five or six tips to fatten your wallets
better than the ones that American God
George S. Clason throws at you
(Pay Yourself  First, and all that miserly pedestrian living)
But fill my cup, dear – and I’ll show you how to fill your wallet –
HIC! HIC! HIC!
Oh **, **, ** yum – where do you get this stuff…?
These modern drinks really drive me crazy, baby!
Hey, hey, hey –
I’m Po-dae
and for watering me, baby
I’ll tell you the dao of fortune:
I come drunk
and I never move straight
and I walk side and side
Oh baby, I’m Po-dae
your miserly elusive fortune!
HIC! HIC! HIC!
Prrrrrrttttt…..!
Sorry about that, guys –
once in a while I also make wind!
Hic! Hic! Hic!

Kun ika mamoót,
Mamoót arog kan pagpadangat kan búlan.
Dae niya hinahâbon an banggí,
Pinapaluwas niya an gayón kan diklóm.

Asin kun ika mamoót,
Mamoót arog kan pagpadángat kan urán.
Dae niya binabasa an háwak,
Nililinigan niya lang an atî kan kalág ta.

Asin kun ika mamoót,
Mamoót arog kan pagpadángat kan duros.
Dae siya nawáwarâ,
Pinaparahay niya an satuyang sadkíri sa kada paghángos ta.

Asin kun ika mamoót,
Mamoót arog kan pagpagdángat kan saldáng.
Dae ka susulô sa kaláyo na tinatao niya,
An sulô na hali saiya an mapagayón kan agihan.

Asin kun ika mamoót,
Mamoót arog kan pagpagdángat kan bitóon.
Bako lang kintab an dara,
Pinapagirumduman kita na maski
an kagadánan kayang pagsuwáyonan duwang puso.

Asin kun síring,
ika mamoót
Mamoót bako lang bilang parte,
kundi arog kan bílog na kinâban.

Mamoót ka arog kan bílog na kinâban.

Kun ika mamoót,
Mamoót arog kan pagpadangat kan búlan.
Dae niya hinahâbon an banggí,
Pinapaluwas niya an gayón kan diklóm.

Asin kun ika mamoót,
Mamoót arog kan pagpadángat kan urán.
Dae niya binabasa an háwak,
Nililinigan niya lang an atî kan kalág ta.

Asin kun ika mamoót,
Mamoót arog kan pagpadángat kan duros.
Dae siya nawáwarâ,
Pinaparahay niya an satuyang sadkíri sa kada paghángos ta.

Asin kun ika mamoót,
Mamoót arog kan pagpagdángat kan saldáng.
Dae ka susulô sa kaláyo na tinatao niya,
An sulô na hali saiya an mapagayón kan agihan.

Asin kun ika mamoót,
Mamoót arog kan pagpagdángat kan bitóon.
Bako lang kintab an dara,
Pinapagirumduman kita na maski
an kagadánan kayang pagsuwáyonan duwang puso.

Asin kun síring,
ika mamoót
Mamoót bako lang bilang parte,
kundi arog kan bílog na kinâban.

Mamoót ka arog kan bílog na kinâban.

Dae ko aram kun tano,
Pero saimo, gusto ko magtubod.
Ano daw yaon saimo -
Ta ika, gusto ko na intindihon?
Pirang aldaw pa sana man.
Pero an ibahan ta, magian.
Dati, dae mo ako mapasurat
Nin piyesa na dae mamundo.
Pero ngunyan, balewala an takot -
Ngunyan, dae na mapadaog.
Kun ano man an nakaagi mo,
Aakuon ko.
Aakuon an kaogmahan mo.
Aakuon an pagkukulang mo.
Naintindihan ko an paghadit mo,
Ta dawa ako, nakulugan man ako.
Dae ako mataram nin patapos,
Pero gusto ko na maaraman mo,
Sa pirang aldaw tang ibahan, naogma ako.
Sa pirang aldaw tang ibahan, pinaogma mo ako.
Gusto takang bistuhon na hararom,
Pero ipapaubaya ko na iyan sa panahon.
Kun ano man an kaluluwasan,
Iyan, satuya nalang maaaraman.

Whoa.

See that yin?
Jist sittin there?
Ye ken how she’s sittin like that, don’t ye?
Well, whit’s she sittin oan?
Aye, her erse.
She’s only sittin like that
So ye ken she’s got an erse.
Gaggin fir it.

An whoa, check that yin!
Wearin claes!
Filthy cow!
Whit dae ye mean, “Whit dae ah mean”?
Claes!
Ye canny wear claes
If ye huvny got a boady, can ye?
That’s right –
Just screamin it, so she is –
“Check oot ma boady!”

Aye, ah wull an aw!
Don’t mind if ah dae!

Aw, mate – that yin!
That yin ower there!
Bendin her airm!
See her?
Bendin her airm like a mucky ****!
That’s so ye ken
She’s got elbows!
Phwoar, I ken your type hen –
you wi yir elbows an a’thin!
Desperate fur it, aren’t ye?

An man!  This yin,
walkin towards us!
Breathin in an oot!
Whit a slapper!
Breathin in an oot!
Aye, ye need a pair o lungs tae dae that,
I bet, eh, hen?
A pair o fine, functioning lungs!
Aye, you use them, doll –
dinny you be shy!
Ah’m no!

Aw pal, haud me back!
This yin!
This yin eatin a meat pie!
Shameless wee ****!
Aw yeah, baby,
I ken whit that means!
Mean’s ye’ve got yirsel
a **** wee digestive tract in there, no?
Ye dinny hae tae spell it oot tae me, love!
Probably got a pair o kidneys
tucked away in there too,
ye ***** wee *****!

Aw the same, ur they no?
Aw ae thum.
Gantin oan it.

An istorya na naisurat ngunyan
asin an istorya na nakrear kasuhapon
asin an istorya manungod
sa kun paano hanapon an sadiri,
kun pano pandangaton
an kada ritmo na kasabay
sa dalan kan buhay.
Iyo an istorya na
dae ko pagsasawaang iistorya.

Ini an istoryang dae kompleto,
sa likod kan mga tula,
kanta na naisurat,
Gabos ito para parahayon an sadiri. Hangga't yaon an kaniguan
dae matatapos an istorya
sa tula na sakuyang pinoonan,
araaldaw akong masurat
para tahuban an mga
piklat sa hawak,
an mga bukas na agihan
sa hawak ko.
Hangga't igwang pagkamoot
padagos an tula na pinoonan ko.
Kun gusto nindong maaraman
an istorya, mahahanap nindo ito
sa mga tula asin kantang naisurat ko.

Vat ń slukkie verdriet
En ontnugter jou verstand
Tot dit niks meer
As net ń spookdorp is
Wat tolbos oor
Jou silwerdoek-lewe nie

Jy voed op energie
, maar in ń moeë wêreld
Teer jy jouself uit
Totdat honger straatkinders
Jou ribbes speel
soos marimbas
Vir net ń laaste trek.

Dalk is vandag
Net een van dáárdie dae
, waar jy my sou red
En jou skouers
my vertroosting sou wees-
Jou lippe my spiersalf
Vir ń hart wat seer
geklop is.

Een van daardie dae
, maar jy is nog een van
Dáárdie mense...

Een van mý dae...
Iets wat jy nie is nie-
Myne

Met boeke vol helde, soos ek en jy
Potgieter, Trichardt, Smuts, Kruger selfs De LaRey
Almal met die doel, om hul volk te bevry,
Die Afrikaner, uit te brei
Om hul families, van leiding te bevry

Selfs, De LaRey
‘n Lafhart, wou eers nie beklei
Later die held, wat die boere, verder wou lei
Familie man, vader seun broer en gesant

Ja, die mense was ook bang
Maar met passie,
Met drang
Met dit wat slange vang
Het hulle als aangevang

Kyk na jou vriend
Kyk na jou maat
Kyk na die, anderkant die straat
Dis jy, wat hul toekoms baat
Dis jy, wat hul vereen, ou maat

Die Afrikaners, was plesierig
Dit, kan julle glo
Nou gevul, net met gierig
En al hul misnoe
Ja, dit kan julle glo

Waar is ons eendrag
Waar is ons mag
Waar is die dae, toe ons nog lekker kon lag
Waar is ons helde, van vandag

‘n Held, in elkeen wat die taal verstaan
Elkeen, wat n weg vir Afrikaans wil baan
Elk, wat sy man wil staan
vir die taal, wat min verstaan
‘n Kultuur, wat net ons verstaan

‘n Kultuur, so ryk aan helde soos ek en jy
Helde, wat die Afrikaner wil bevry
Helde, wat nie bang is om te baklei
Helde, soos ek en jy!

Ayee mudda fuka
da uda dae i hada severe itchin in my inna elbow
i went to da doctor an he be like
who da ***, **** my office u lil ****
an i be like
***** u best nawt be telling me da flippidy flop on da who dat paddywhack crackerjack i **** u i **** u
theeeeeeen this ******* *** ***** wantsa charge me $40
an I'm all liek
***** i got 7 kidz 2 f e e d
an he liek
idc pay up u lil ***** b 4 i pop dis **** out
¿Tu madre¿
911 illuminati✈