If there is a god
Why aren't you listening?
I'm not going to sit here and question "why me?"
No, I've accepted my life for what it is.
But I'd like to know why them?
Why are you going to let my best friends die?
If you're so great and powerful,
Then why don't you save them?
show some pity and give them something?
Some reason, some sort of hope to keep going.
I'm trying harder than you can imagine.
Trying to do what they say your job is.
They need a light, a reason to live, and they
Can't find it.
I'm doing all that I can.
But it isn't enough.
They still want to die, still see no point in living,
But I hope you know that if they go I'll be soon to follow
They're my life, besides my family, Hell they are family.
I don't sit here and wonder "why me?"
Instead I break the silence with screams of
Why NOT me?
Why do they have to suffer and I have things going well?
Why take them? What did they do to deserve this?
I'm the sinner. The one who should die, not them
God how can you take them and
Leave me here to die anyways?
Why not take me and spare them the sorrow?
I hope you know you're taking three lives with you that night.
Tonight I learned that my second best friend wants to die. Now both of my best friends are suicidal and who knows how long they have. I wrote this through a breakdown. I am not religious and I don't really believe in a "God" but this is what came naturally to vent. I can't understand why this is happening so I guess that leads to questioning the "higher power". I know that if they die, I will not make it very long. I guess life likes to leave the undeserving sinners in our hell of a life longer than the better ones who actually deserve a life and happiness.
Typed almost identically to the hand-written vent.