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elle jaxsun  Jul 2018
coping
elle jaxsun Jul 2018
the mist from my dope
coping mechanism
tickles my nose and my lips

the corners of my mouth
pulled upward as my eyes
turn to slits

i sink into the couch

cuddle my dog

ahhh, i ******* love this
The best of Mormon boys
I'd never tried ****
Or alcohol
Or Coffee

I was raised to live a
Word of Wisdom that
Forbids it and
I obeyed

But suicide crept in
Too many times to
Afford not to
Try new things

My therapist convinced
Me to try two things
New: Sativa,
Indica

Sativa to help me
Process from novel
States of mind that
I might see

Indica to bring me
Back into the corpse
I had left back
In my grave


Cannabis, I was told
By my therapist
-Who looked just like
An angel-

Was a sacred plant that
Was used for decades
Centuries or
Much longer

Grown straight from out the Earth
She told me that They
Wouldn't cure me
Nothing could...

Cure me but me, but still
They were powerful tools
For healing change
When used right

She believed they could help
Aide my recovery
Help me, fix me
So I tried

I turned my back on my past
Mormon ways and
Opened a door
I can't go

Back through ever again!
Over the last year that
I've used this
Medicine

We've grown intertwined
Like a vine that grew
Through my nervous
System slow

But surely becoming
A part of who I
Am like part plant
Part human

She took the role of Mother
A mother I wanted
But never had,
Not since twelve

And even when I moved
Back home to Utah
From Colorado
I can't quit

I love Her too much now
When I can't sleep She
Sings lullabies
In the dark

When nightmares from my past
Come find me She will
Whisper sweet words
Of nothing

But they make me feel loved,
Make me feel lovable
In ways I never
Knew before

Not once in my old life
Of Twenty-eight years
Struggling with my
Self-hatred

I felt cannabis' love
For me my first hit
She adopted
Me and I

------------------------
| Can't Quit Now |
------------------------
Cannabis
Healing
....
https://www.medicinalmindfulness.org/
...
Thank you
You're my home
Away from home
We get drunk
Then we get ******
And I get lost in you
I get lost in you

Yeah its been
A bumpy road
But when we lit up
We're in our zone
And I get lost in you
I get lost in you
Chorus of a song
That was playing
Over and over
In my head this morning

Do some strands of cannabis
Always get you *****
Johnnie Woods Aug 2018
An entrophic mind, like a sphere,
with random spikes here and there.

A tension is reduced,
Mind is brought back to its chaotic
yet peaceful nature.
There's no more heavy steel
Frenzied blind train
Heading towards one direction.
Now, there's a sphere,
and we can appreciate everything
surrounding us. We're awakened,
Rebooted and reseted,
Back to our roots.
We can swim, touch and smell!
It's a truly healing experience.
Thought on cannabis
Fullfreddo May 2015
our love making is an  
amphetamine

coming together,
crack ******* this stunning pleasure

wilding dreams,
mescaline pretense too real

daily life,
the modulation high of a flotation device,
some call it cannabis-like

gentle drowsy,
a glass of tea and
she...
I still remember,
That special first time.
I was young, and
IMMORTAL.
I wanted to FIND.

I wanted to FEEL it,
That FREEDOM of mind,
Where PEACE and SERENITY
Leave troubles
Behind.

At first I felt nothing,
No SHOCK or REVEAL .
I asked my best friend;
He swore it was
REAL.

But then, a tingle.
A SMILE; a LAUGH!
My mind filled with
MEMORIES, thoughts
Of the past.

I couldn't believe it;
So much; so fast!
No longer depressed,
I rose from the grass.  

I felt like a scholar,
Or philosopher of old.
I walked to our table
To tell what it showed.

Of course, they were laughing,
But I didn't mind,
I knew what I'd FOUND.
I'd seen the DIVINE.
This is a quick one about my love of cannabis. Enjoy
Dream Aug 2018
There's moments spent with you that I'll never forget. A brave me, I've never met. A fearless me,safe in your Haven. I hope I can meet her again. It was a feeling I've never experienced before,but one I'm dying experience again. The reason I stopped talking to you was not because I was angry( although I was at first) but because after everytime we spoke I got caught in my feelings, and saw rays of hope. However the next day I would see you with Her and my heart broke all over again. I have cried way more than you can imagine and yet I tried soo hard to hate you but I couldn't find enough reasons because our connection, every conversation felt so **** real. Yes, what you did wasn't right. You hurt me. Really bad. But you did it because it made you happy. She makes you happy.......and thats all I wish for you. I can't unlove you, And I don't want to because what you made me feel was incredible. I do not regret anything. Nothing at all. Even though I've told you I do. But trust me every experience is valuable to me. We were truly amazing while we lasted. I don't want to end this year with a bitter taste and leave with regrets. This is everything I didn't say.
A text to my ex.
All observation is from a particular point, but
acknowledged subjectivity's better than naught.
Thus follows some comments on their qualitative nature.
Use them as you deem. In this piece everything is as it seems.

Caffeine is unappreciated enough,
Give credit to that stimulant for the things it does.
Coffee has little time to play, for there are errands
to attend to before the light fades.

The amphetamine will spin you until you're spun,
The cathinone will also try you with its luck.
The stimulant is a trickster [touch within]
and a magician never reveals their secret,
Even when seeking it befalls endlessness.

Me and E(cstasy) used to dance all night,
Closer to all your dreams was as far
from the light, we soaked ourselves
in emotionality and I soared high:
Perfection in the dark
rekindled my heart
; 'cause
on pills you love everyone.

******* is always hungry but will never feed you
for it is naught but the scent of pure ego;
because on coke everyone loves you.

There is nothing to learn from an opioid or benzodiazepine
beyond the hedonistic stupor in-between awake and sleeping.
Similarly, cigarettes never taught me anything about myself
much like quick, ***** ***, that's nicotine and painkillers, in essence.

Alcohol is reliable for those sociable
but can hurt the body and scorn the emotional.
Drink toyed with me, then she abandoned me;
Despite that messiness I still reminisce occasionally.

Gamma-HydroxyButyric acid [GHB] requires utmost caution,
One must observe the proper conduct when
wading through such subtle intoxication.

Don't use ket too much, don't use angel dust.
If you want a supreme arylcyclohexylamine
seek out methoxetamine, use it responsibly.
Dissociation, end of line; no[thing is o]ne.

Always be considerate before transcending reality,
Reverence for psychedelics keeps them self-regulatory.
Of all the compounds they would humble and reveal to you;
Existential, being when tripping; every[is]one.

Cannabis I dared to use recreationally
for it often reminded us when one should act sensibly.
That deep conversing with trusted friends
is better than any substance I have ever had the nerve to test
.
I was seeking to be lost,
In that journey I found myself
and composed this journal from said
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