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Tonya Cusick
23/F/Joplin, mo    23. Criticism is very much welcome to my ORIGINAL work. Drug addict. Driven by anger. Pain is beautiful.
Tonya Carpenter

Poems

Evey Aug 2018
"Did you hear Tonya  son is gay?"
"Oh that's cool."

A la  siguinte  semanan naylie  me  comento
"Tonya kicked  her son out of her house for being gay."

As thoughts race through my head I wonder where will he live? he's just a senior in high school

Soon after that I never really thought about him since I never knew him or seen him

lo  conosi por distanica

"Mira  Yvette ese  es  el  hijo  de  tonya  tu  sabias  que  era  gay?" me  dijo  nayeli  que  lo  conoses
As usual, irritated, le  contesto, "ay  ama la  van  a esquchar y  no  no  lo  conosco"

I didn't want to feel guilty for being somebody that whispers through ears

"Mija  y tu  mama va  venir  al  aerobics?"
" Nose "

Tonya No  me  conose ni  tampoco  conse  que  me  da  verguenza su  decicion como  puede  abandonar  a su hijo

My  mom  while she pretended to cover her whispers through squats and lunges.

"Mira  Yvette ese  es  el  hijo  de  tonya"

As I gaze,
flaco  y  Alto.
What is he doing here at the park? his mom is going to see him. He looks happy playing basketball was he really kick out? did she bring him here?

My second year of summer vacation of college I try to be part of LA and South Park with the aerobics women but it is inconsistent the same way how inconsistent my thought of Tonya's  son being homeless

Por  segunda  ves  la distancia  nos  unio

Mami  y yo  sentadas 10minutos antes  que  empiese  la  clase

"Ay  mira  Yvette siempre  esta  aqui ya  nunca esta  bien  vestido "

I guess she did kick him out

Sudadas y cansadas,
When classes end  todas  Las mama  se  van en Chinga,
Tengo  que  ir  a vender!
Tengo  que  hacer de  comer!
Tengo  que  pasar  por  el  chiquillo  a  la  escuela!

"Mejor vete  en  chinga  por  tu hijo Mientras  haces  de  comer no  se  te  olvide  poner  el quarto  Plato en  la  mesa Y  cuando  termines  no  se  te olvide  pasar por  tu  hijo  que  duerme  en el  parque"

Otros anos  mas

"Ay  Yvette dice  nayeliy que  ya  el  hijo  de  Tonya  usa  drogas"

I just listened

I'd feel bad to if my mom never noticed me over the thing she loved the most, aerobics

Sonriente  y  sin  verguenza,
Camina  ase  su  casa  dejando  su  hijo.

It doesn't seem to work its as if he wants her to notice him

Maybe if my mom sees me everyday out here knowing that I live here she'll take me home after she's done with her work out

365 dias multiplicado por 2, espero  que  todabia  tenga  esa  esperanza o talvez  ya  lo  consumio  las drogas
nic Sep 2013
I read somewhere,
that as adults,
we try growing into
the traits that would've
rescued our parents.
And when my father moved out
I started moving.
The day my his signature
danced across a set
of divorce papers,
my body became boat.
These ankles retracted anchor.
I have been sailor ever since.

2. Mental illness runs
in my mother's family
so leaving was more like
a race for sanity.
There are days when
I wonder if schizophrenia
is what happened
when Liz stopped writing.
When a poet stops being a poet
I guess all of that empty
silence leaves room for
the walls to start speaking.
There are days when I wander
just to see if my feet
are as fast as they
used to be.
I used to leave what I love.

3. I love a lot
so I jog often.
Not for hobby,
but for healing.

4. Survival is a scary thing,
especially when it means
running from what's
already been sewn into
your family genes.

5. If your body ever
feels foreign,
remember home is
where the heart is
so it is no worthless carcass.
Call it Cathedral.
You. Holy congregation
of bones filled to the brim
with sin but blessed
from birth.
Your skin is nothing short
of sacred. Sanctuary.
Your muscles only grow
from being torn and rebuilt
so it makes sense
for your walls
to crumble sometimes.
Destruction is a form
of creation.
And of course,
you will want to dance
amongst that rubble.
Movement is a sign of life.
Let them see
you're still alive.

6. This life is magic
and you come from
a long line of magicians.
We people of Black suits
and bow ties threaded
from braided chains.
We, wands for wrists,
perfect for reaching
for potions and people
and dreams.
We, top hats for teeth,
perfect for abracadabra speaking
things into existence.
We, artists.
We, storytellers.
We, preachers and poets.
We who spit spells
disguised as poems.
Poems that work like
prayers born between pews.
We, walking sanctuaries
with pews for knees.
We who birth life. Love,
you are nothing short
of magic.

7. The day the spine
of my father's signature
tangoed along the rubble
of a broken marriage,
my mother's hips
kissed a beat like
Stevie Wonder
was just invented.
And my God,
is it lovely.
How she wears her lonely
in the sway of her shoulders.
See you come from
a long line of magicians
who don't need to be rescued.
You are not our final flare.
You are not our savior.
Love, you are my plagiarized draft
of a poem called God.