Blue Bacon and Mexican Swiss Cheese with Krusty Jam




My name is Bam Da Pam
Bam da Pam my name is


Dat Bam-da-Pam-I-am
Dat Bam-da Pam!
I like Dat
Bam-da-Pam-I-am


Do you like blue bacon and mexican swiss cheese with krusty jam


I like them,
Bam da Pam
I like
Blue bacon and mexican swiss cheese with krusty jam


Would you still like them
In or out
Would you not like them
In a spout


I would like them
In or out
I would like them
In a spout.
I do like
Blue bacon and mexican swiss cheese with krusty jam
I do like them,
Bam-da-Pam


Would you hate them
Up or down?
Would you hate them
All around?


I like them
Up or down.
I like them
All around.
I like them
In or out.
I would still like them
In a spout.
I like blue bacon and mexican swiss cheese with krusty jam
I like them, Bam-da-Pam-I-am.




Would you hate them
On a platter?
Would you hate them
with a splatter?


On  a platter.
With a splatter.
In or out.
With a spout.
I would eat them up or down.
I would eat them all around.
I would eat blue bacon and mexican swiss cheese with krusty jam.
I do like them, Bam-da-Pam-I-am.


Would you? Could you?
in a bar?
Hate them! Hate them!
Here they are.


I would,
I could,
in a bar


You may hate them.
You will see.
You may not like them
in a bee?


I would, I could in a bee.
In a bar! You let me be.
I do like them on a platter.
I do like them with a splatter.
I do like them in or out.
I do like them in a spout.
I do like them up or down.
I do like them all around.
I do like blue bacon and mexican swiss cheese with krusty jam
I do like them, Bam-da-pam


A train! A train!
Could you, would you
on a train?


“On a train! In a bee!
In a bar! Bam da Pam! Let me be!”
I would, I could, on a platter.
I could, I would, with a splatter.
I will eat them with a spout
I will eat them in or out.
I will eat them up or down.
I will eat them all around.
I do like them, Bam-da-Pam-I-am.




Bae!
Would you, could you, in the dark?


I would, I could,
in the dark.


Would you, could you,
in the rain?


I would, I could in the rain.
In the dark. On a train,
In a bar, in a bee.
I do like them, Bam da Pam, you see.
On a platter. With a splatter.
In a spout. In or out.
I will eat them up or down.
I do like them all around!


You do like
Blue bacon and mexican swiss cheese with krusty jam?


I do
like them,
bam-da-pam-I-am.


Could you, would you,
on a hippo


Would you cook it with a zippo


I could and would on a hippo
I will, I will cook it with a zippo
I will eat them in the rain.
I will eat them on a train.
In the dark! In a tree!
In a bar! Please let me be!
I do like them on a platter.
I do like them with a splatter.
I will eat them in a spout.
I do like them in or out.
I do like them up or down.
I do like them ALL AROUND!


I do like blue bacon and mexican swiss cheese with krusty jam


I really like them,
Bam-da-Pam


You do like them.
SO you say.
Try them! Try them!
And I will walk away
Try them and you may I say.


Bam-Da-Pam!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.


Bae!
I hate blue bacon and mexican swiss cheese with krusty jam!
I do! I hate them, Bam da Pam
And I would not eat them on a hippo!
And I would not cook them with a zippo...
And I will not eat them in the rain.
And not in the dark. And not on a train.
And not in a bar. And not in a bee.
They are so bad, so bad you see!


So I will hate them on a platter.
And I will not eat them with a splatter.
And I will not eat them in a spout.
And I will not eat them in or out.
And I will not eat them up or down.
Say! I will not eat them ALL AROUND!


I do, I do, I hate
Blue bacon with mexican swiss cheese and krusty jam!
I HATE you!
I HATE you,
BAM DA PAM!

My backpack ready for anything, I left for a voyage across the pond. As fellow passengers climb aboard I met a 27 year old traveling musician named Russ carrying his cajòn. He told me of his travels from Massachusetts and pending divorce. We related on this and exchanged CD's. Behind us sitting on the Ferry were two young girls working on a puzzle. Russ imposed himself and tried to impress them with his musical endeavors. These girls were in America from Germany attending college. One was 17 and the other was 18 but I am sure they knew better than to play into his hand. After talk of language and culture we disembarked. Russ invited me to his show that night but I had plans to meet a girl at a board game pub. I walked to the bus stop while smoking my pipe and caught the number 40 from downtown to a trendy neighborhood up north.

After I stepped off I found myself amongst the overgrown players of games and drinkers of fine beer. Brittany arrived and we chatted over IPA's. I explained my recent challenges to get the topic of divorce out of the way before we left for Mexican food. She was very open in saying I should play the field and not have a serious relationship. I agreed with her take but could not read her as well as I had hoped. She said I need to get the rebounding out of the way and explained that she too is struggling with commitment. Being 34 with no marriage or children under her belt she feels that therapy is essential to figuring this out.

We walked to our happy hour destination and shared Nacho's while drinking "Colorado Kool-Aid". Both of us having spent a lot of time in Denver we could relate on much but I felt there was an elephant in the room. Afterwards we walked to a nearby record store and browsed while talking about music and interests. She needed to leave soon having obligations to housesit and watch pets. Dog walking is her profession since her departure from the world of corporate accounting. We walked to her unkempt sedan and she gave me a ride back downtown. We talked of hanging out again but our schedule may not permit for some time. I wonder if she will entertain my company without reservation, only time will tell.

I decided to phone my old friend from Denver who lives near and devise another plan for the evening. The sun was still shining and I had no reason to return home yet. I walked to a nearby brew pub while waiting for him to meet me. I sat at the bar with another traveler named Dave. He is an airline pilot close to retirement from the state of Texas. We talked about my time in the Navy and my pending legal woes. He's been proudly married for 30 years and counts his blessings that he is still in harmony with his wife. My friend decided to meet me at a concert in close proximity to my date with Brittany. Once again I would take the number 40 uptown. Dave bought my IPA and gave me words of encouragement and complimented my persona. It meant a lot and I thanked him as I said goodbye.

While waiting for the bus I asked for information from a woman in her early 50's. She works for a tech company nearby but was happy to help as I had a more pleasant vibe than most of her young, urban, unprofessional colleagues. While unsure of my way she directed my move to get off at the next stop. I walked up the hill another seven blocks to the show. While smoking my pipe along the way another bus rider was two steps ahead named Nate. He was curious about my pipe tobacco and we gave brief anecdotes about ourselves. He offered to buy me a quick beer before my concert. I took him up on this offer as we walked into a nearby market. He purchased several large cans of domestics and afterwards we headed back down the dark boulevard towards the Abbey drinking our brew. As I arrived at the former church venue we parted ways peacefully.

I ventured into the bustling scene concealing my open container while finding my friend. I sat just as the opening act started. We enjoyed three musical performances but the star of the show was the beautiful woman from Denver that we both enjoyed during our time there. Feeling that we should explore the venue where Russ was performing we made our way there. I was sad to discover the brewery was shutting down before 10pm and the band was long gone. We decided to walk to the nearby singles bar playing music so loudly it could be heard from a block away. This strange place was crawling with many folks of the beautiful sort but nothing seemed to be attractive about it. We had a glass of wine and a shot of bourbon. I spoke to the fellow DJ for a moment but there was no dancefloor to be found. We decided to venture on.

We walked up and down the avenue and discovered another Mexican food restaurant, beaming with the young and the foolish. Our community seating was met with overly affectionate couples to our left and valley girls to our right. Our Tequila mules hit the spot with our Nacho's and late night platter. The girls spoke of Denver people which I thought strange. Why so much co(lorado)-incidence in one evening? I injected myself into the discussion and was met with friendly conversation. Unable to finish my Nacho's I knew I had fulfilled my share of fun for the night. This was the fourth time I had eaten nachos this week. We proceeded back to the urban adventure wagon and made our way to the slums of the tech-boom. My 2am slumber was met with an air mattress of great quality and woolen blankets.

I awoke at 7am to the clouded sunlight peering through the sliding glass door. I laid awake with my stomach turning from the many Nachos not yet digested. My housemates called me about needing to move my car for restriping the parking lot. Fortunately I left my keys so they were able to do this for me. I smoked my pipe on the patio while my friend "hit the gym". When he returned we decided to walk through the arboretum by the university and enjoy the sunny autumn day. Afterwards he dropped me off by the ferry where I waited an hour drinking beer at the commuter dive.

During my ferry ride home I walked up and down the passenger compartment looking for a fellow rider to play cribbage. I had no such luck and headed for the observation deck. While the city vanished behind us I struck up a conversation with a young lady from Manchester who had just returned to living in the US. We talked about the nature of selfies and the conflict of living in the moment. As we spoke a man approached me who had overheard my request for a card game. We walked back inside and sat next to an abandoned puzzle with pieces scattered about the deck. Mark introduced himself and we shook hands. It was not until he shuffled and dealt the cards that I realized this 45 year old Asian man only had one arm. His ability to shuffle and deal was impressive. His skill with cribbage was more than rusty, after one game I had a victory so great I felt guilty. He too is going through divorce and seeking a new job. It was a great way to pass the time with a fellow passenger.

As I readied myself for the porting I noticed a familiar face, a young sailor I served with in Mississippi. Our time spent together was met with sorrow as we faced similar career challenges. I had not seen him for several months but he almost did not recognize me. I had lost 50 pounds, left the Navy and become single all in a matter of a few months. I assured him I was on the dawn of newfound joy and wished him luck on his upcoming deployment. I patted him on the head as he seems like such a lovable scamp to me at this point. I exited the terminal to saunter back home. I smoked my pipe while crossing the bridge enjoying the last hour of sunlight.

I settled my belongings at home while serving myself a can of chili and a cold IPA on draft from my housemates tap. I joined him for the end of a baseball game in the den and shared a few moments with my community. I slept for a couple hours and then made my way to work. So much can happen in a day.

The pills
They take a toll on you
Make your head feel like a balloon
You walk
When they yell run
And you are finished before they are done
I don’t want this to be over
Cause it’s all I’ve ever known
But they tell me to go sober
And I can’t cut off from the cards I was thrown

Take me the end of the world
Watch me consider jumping over the edge
I’ll be right there at the ledge
And the world wants me to be dead

I’ve gone through the struggle
I’ve gone through the war
I’ve gone through hell twice
And I won’t anymore
The world’s on my platter
My life’s at my feet
But I step on my future
Dirt’s nothing to eat

I run
Circles around the truth
Honesty is hiding behind a suit
Lies ****
Just like ******
But no one thought to tell me it’s a sin
Drugs must be easier than
Hearing the monsters
And carving my skin
But drugs are just impostors.

They drown out the garbage
They will drown out accusers
But they drown out the future
And **** their abuser

I’ve gone through the struggle
I’ve gone through the war
I’ve gone through hell twice
And I won’t anymore
The world’s on my platter
My life’s at my feet
But I step on my future
Dirt’s nothing to eat

I want to end this once and for all
So no longer will I be the one who will fall
I’ll stand up straight, I’ll stand up tall
And my platter will be empty