Today I dug and shoveled away, at an old box, at an old sin.

And upon finding it, I opened it, and stared at its contents. The realization stored within.

For inside I found the truth in this:

"That you can stare at the monster all you want, but in your future, don't ever let yourself desire his life, or become like him."

Not ever, not once, or ever again. But instead be reminded of who he is and how he is. And why also, such things exists, within this life.

Don't embrace the monster locked away. But be a better man. Be more than this. For that is the truth which I found in this.

Just a random thing. A random remind.

If I'm too busy for you
I'm too busy for me
And that is unhealthy

Because perhaps in vain and vainity
We are the same?

Skilled at creating for someone else
At adapting for the US entirely

But could it be that within the entirety
That we lose the ability to see?

Like the blinders of love
Be they ever imposed
By this realization of who is me?

Perhaps we are the same indeed?
Perhaps one day you'd let me try
For you, as also you could for me?

In truth, I often think about more than me.

The heavy patter of the rain
Reflects the pattern of my heart
In weariness
In longings last
How I've waited for this storm to pass
Most patiently
Slowly pouring out
With a cooling voice
Till I calm myself
And yet so much more than the afterstorm
Which I must create
Everytime I've felt
The need to be
More than this old me
This rainsoaked version of the self

*the sound of rain*

Some days my heart feels heavy with it
The distant want
The growing fear

The way it is but will not stay
For the remainder of these
More youthful days

My heart is this
But not at last

Instead how it wanders
Through fields of idealism
And lets you pass

With every conscious moment
In this
How I dream of you and let you pass

Which is why I'm so good at distracting myself. Who isn't really?


And stone

And wax unwound

How all will melt
And all will burn
Long before his heavenly throne
Reveals itself forever more

Because we are the human
And he is the God

He reveals himself in ways
Most unknown

His structures are that of pure existence
Carved out of matter we cannot imagine

He is unlike us
He is everything
Beyond our frail and fragile bones

Because he is omnipotent and all-powerful.

Would you find me a girl with the bravery and boldness of a Coraline Jones's heart?
Not someone who demands my attentive love or the backing of a musical score.
But someone real.
Someone who knows every deep and dark and shallow fear.
Someone particular and peculiar.
Who perhaps I can make a cheese omelette for.

Love that book. Kinda hate that movie.

When it comes to fire
Within my arms
I will crash and burn and rebuild myself

Because I am
Because I was
And because I have yet to become someone else

All that I can be
All that I wasn't
All that I do is because I must

Its not owned by this
The want or wont
But because I will regret it if I don't

Below my average... But I'm trying something new.
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