Even though
she could see,
"for the meantime"
lurking in his eyes and her
heart recognized
his words, "I love you"
as a lie

She
swallowed them
like candy coated truth

Because...

It
meant
more to her to have
anybody's body by her's
than to be without
somebody

His
'goodbye'
was unspoken, but
written
all-over-her-body

He had *** and gone

And...
once again
Somebody, had her body
And she had
nobody

...but her own


©Cj
​

I know...
it must be a good morning
in your part of
the world

here...
here in my
little space on earth
I'm not too sure...
anymore


after...
all this time
in my mind you're
still mine

even if...
you're really not
you'll always hold apart
of my heart

I
wonder...
would it surprise you that
I often have spur-of-the-moments
when I want to talk to you

sometimes... with urgency

probably not

because
it's how we used to be before
I lost that luxury

its
killing me
to know she's taken
over all liberties that came
with being your
lady

silly me...
trying
to orchestrate
a reality where you never existed

actually...
believed I'd live pain free
but...

your
special ring tone
was my wakeup call that had
me singing the blues
on how I lost you

and...

after
all the verses
were sung I wished to God
they'd reverse to when our hearts knew
we were in love

impossible I know...

so...

here...
here I sit
surrounded by all these
memories of us indulging in
each other's time
and mind
and
how...
I
failed
to take one of
many opportunities to say,
'I Love You'

perhaps...
you would've
inhaled the words and
felt what I was feeling souldeep
for you.

instead...
I'm living in
the company of
misery
as
we watch
you in love with her
while she happily lives a life
meant for me

I
guess
truly loving you
means wanting your happiness
even if...

its
not
with
me​



©cj

He used to read to me

my
being
was taken by
every silky note that came
from within
him

his
creative essence
produced picture thoughts
that I journeyed on of his memories
hopes and dreams and wonderful imaginary things
it was extraordinary the way his words
spellbound me

I
cried
when his words cried
laughed when they laughed and
learned when they
taught

   He used to read to me

with
wisdom
and witty phrases
he kept me all caught up
induced an addictive tendency in me
that made my mind salivate at the thought
of his words spoken
to me  

  intensified…

my
interest
used to widen
to feast on his compositions
like
a
fiend
every sound
outside of his voice
was nonexistent
when
he used to read to me
often…

I
slipped
between his lines
and realized he relished our
intimate word moments
just as much
as
I

He used to read to me


someday…

I
hope
he
will
again

It
was the
crystal clear
I refused to see
like...
a drop of truth
serum
laying await at the bottom of
an eye

similar
to sticky fingers
eyelashes attempted
to prevent its unavoidable voyage
I
tried
to pretend it wasn’t there
while at the same time praying a breeze
would come to dry it up
before its source could witness
the only surface sign of the pain he caused soul deep

the
more I tried
the more it struggled
to loosen the grip that held it back

the
wind never blew
a breeze
and
a
solitary tear
eased to the tip of weakened lashes
as
salt does
to an open wound
it stung when it met with skin
however
not near as much as
the reason
it was
there

l i n g e r i n g
it
traveled
d
    o
w
    n

a
cheek
once caressed by
an assumed lover’s hand

like...
a
tourist
sightseeing
a resting ground littered with
relationship wreckage

at
the edge of
my chin it d a n g l e d
as if reminiscing for a moment
...then
d
      r
i
     p
p
    e
d

to
the floor
to begin the puddle
for those that without doubt would follow



©2007cj