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  Feb 3 Sea
Mamta Wathare
The flower on the sidewalk
was uprooted ...
planted in a garden

From the dusty road
to a safe haven

as if it were the summer season

Where I have arrived,
is a story I long to tell

Take a slow walk, beloved
Enter the garden
Sea Jan 1
Can you feel the newness of this new decade?
This new life calling to you?
You’ve been standing on the precipice for awhile now
But now it’s time to jump
Arms wide open, into the unknown
Let it enfold you and unfold you
Sprout forth and open
Your years as a tight bud are behind you
It’s time to emerge from the cradle of safe certainty
And like a stray feather
Glide on the winds of endless, meandering possibilities.
Sea Dec 2019
I’ve let fear hold me back for so many years

Allowing it to cloud my perception of what could be,

Blinding me to all the possibilities awaiting me

To open up to a life beyond what I’ve always known—

A heavy fog

But what if the sky could clear up; open?

What if I opened?

What if I let myself

Explore beyond who I’ve always believed myself to be

What if I could love more fully

What if I could be happy

What if I allowed life to pour through me

And I didn’t try to stop it

Bottle it up or control it

What if I just let myself live,

Relinquished my fear of existing

And found security within the safe harbor of my own heart?

What if I said yes,

Not to a flawless life

But to a beautiful life?

(Inspired by and dedicated to Ram Dass. May he rest in peace.)
Sea Dec 2019
I’ve spent years stuck in limbo
Wanting to move forward,
Break through to the other side
Claim my vitality
But I was scared
Not scared— terrified
To leave my old ways
Those old ways that held me in a protective container
Shielding me from the senseless pain of living

It’s not that I didn’t have courage before
I’ve tried so many ways to heal,
But maybe those ways were inauthentic
Leading me to seek salvation by external means,
In an array of distractions
But nothing could fill me
The way I am filled
When I choose to open to life
Without a guarded veil skewing my perception
When I choose to love myself
In both my pain and my glory

Why do I feel like this times different?
I’m not sure
Maybe I’m just being truer to myself this time
Following the flow of my healing
Easing into it
Letting it just be, and receiving it
All the support and love
Is like a buoy that keeps me afloat
Maybe this time is different
Because this time I’m convinced
That I deserve better
Than what I’ve settled for all my life
I’m ready to take responsibility for my life
And change.
Sea Dec 2019
Pine trees tower above my head
Green needles, crisp scent
Snowflakes ride on sharp winds
The cold air fills my lungs
My exhale escapes me in a vaporous puff

The sky is a gentle turquoise
Peppered with wooly clouds
I could get lost in that sky
If only I could climb those towering pines
To reach beyond, pierce through the sky

But I’m bound to this ground,
This redolent earth
Full of life and growth, decay and death
Though I often anxiously seek for answers to questions of transcendence
For now I’ll be content with the simplicity of this earthly life,
Revel in the spontaneous and unexpected, even if I don’t always comprehend it.
Sea Dec 2019
Slow and steady wins the race, I’ve learned
Yet over the years all I’ve wanted to do
Was burn burn burn
Everything that held me back from my idealized life
But my ideals have changed countless times
I’ve traded in so many aspirations and dreams
That I can’t resolutely claim that what I want right now will still be what I want in the future
I will continue to change
This is all I know for sure

I can see my freedom like a mirage in the distance
I want to run to it and take hold of it
Claim it as my own and never let it go
But I’m still shackled to past trauma and its effects
That led me into circumstances difficult to egress
But I’ll spiral upwards now instead of downwards,
Steadily making my way out of the abyss,
Slowly but surely climbing my way to freedom
And when I reach the crisp air of the blue sky,
One step away from finishing the climb
I’ll thank the stagnant darkness for all of its unexpected gifts,
And everything I learned from it.
Sea Dec 2019
Take me to a sky
In the night
And I’ll lay on the cold ground
And cry
As I let myself be absorbed into the stars
I’ll let the pain of believing I’m not good enough
Dissolve into the winter air
Releasing every burden, every care
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