i remember comfort all through my body but then this
pain... it was this horrible pain in my stomach
but i could push it away enough to give him my soul.
it was what he wanted, right?
telling myself i had some part of him was delusional, he only gave me
a character he created. but i took it, no questions asked.
he claimed to buy me, but he only rented me.
looking back, i realize the pain was a warning.
because he was a predator and i, his prey,
but he took my innocence
and still wanted to pray.
i didn't ever ever ever think he was taking my being,
but then i was no longer whole.
and now i know.

anger. i write with tears in my eyes because i am angry to be proven right. when i am forbade from sharing my poetry, proving me right of the times when i said NOBODY CARES, i am so angry that there are tears in my eyes. i'm going to make you read this and you are going to look at me and say nothing. you never say anything except 'ok' and you can't see it but that's so FRUSTRATING. do i only deserve two letters from you? all the times you've said in few words that i was wrong when i said you don't care about me, that nobody does, you were lying. i should have known better. the explanation for my tears? you, and her.

if ever there is a time when i don't love you, the world must be ending, and the stars must be exploding in on themselves to fall onto the long lost lovers who turned on one another to slit each others throats. and even then, i will still love you. when you try to **** me, i will still love you. when i am gone, i will still love you. when you have become a memory, and i have become even less than that, i will still love you. if ever there is a time when i don't love you, i will love you.

Set me free,
oh, gravity,
I cannot stay here,
I am an anchor,
and he is a sailboat.

and at times, i wonder if you've ever really seen her, beautiful her. in those moments when her heart is beating fast because she's being smart, and when her eyes are watery because she's drowning in memories. she's so beautiful, can't you see it? when her cheeks are rosy red and her hair is mussy. shy, humble. have you ever really looked at her? her heart spills out and she is surrounded by an air of love. she's breathtaking, especially when her breath has been taken, haven't you noticed? haven't you noticed how bright her eyes are when she loves you? she wants to be yours and it's a beautiful sight, you should see her. **you should see her, you would fall in love the same way she crashed into being in love with you