she exists now in a dream state
unaware of the horror and the passage of time
wind rushes through broken panes
moaning mournfully
floors creak and door hinges speak
announcing her presence
this was her house
once a place of light and love
full of family and friends
cotillions resonating with music and dance
and lively conversation
a grand kitchen to prepare the feasts
of pheasant under glass
a gazebo for laughing in the rain
arbors for moonlit meetings with owls
a pond for lilies and croaking frogs
gardens for picking her favorite peonies
a nursery for her children
all this now nothing but ruins
from happiness to a home for bugs and bats
crawling with silverfish, centipedes and black widows
shrouded in cobwebs
drowning in dust
suffocating in stench of rotting wood and desolation
decorated with 100 year old bloodstains
she never saw her killer
never saw the spurting of her arteries
never heard her children’s screams and death rales
she sees her house as it was
and every night she roams the rooms
calling her children’s names in long, haunting whispers

got locked out today
came home from the grocery store
and couldn’t get in
wandered around
knocking on a couple of doors
looking for help
no one answered
never realized before
that a house without people in it
can be cold as stone
an older couple down the street
let me in and called a locksmith
such gracious, neighborly neighbors

as I sat waiting on my peeling painted porch
on a cool cloudy day
memories burrowed up like a mole
about how I wandered dreamlessly when young
just wanting to survive
thoughts of future shot down
by relative poverty and low self esteem
perhaps it was just delusion
once thinking that I could be anything
I wanted to be

we memorize the ***** and chains
we place on ourselves
like once tethered elephants
never straying from our post
it took a long time to come into me
it took a long time to come to like myself
it took a long time to come to love myself
but at times I still doubted
feeling the pull of my elephant’s chain
the tug of my tether
while wasting away where I stood

finally got myself together
and made plans
it tickles me to think
how I made God laugh

don't go outside
      dare you step outside of your dwelling
      you will fall victim to the pandemic
      it will take your freedom
stay inside, stay inside, stay inside
      foolish are you if you so choose to venture to the market
      everywhere you go feels abandoned
      all the shelves are emptied of things that were previously
      overstocked...
don't
    go
       outside

Wake me up when corona ends.

I disintegrate into a thousand stars
Of myself, when I see
Your footprints in the snow.
I am still blinded by your winter beauty
Yet you have banished me
To the edge of your world.
Every day I return for your broken water,
The scraps of love you throw out
Keep me alive.

I must get word to you
But my clumsiness gathers dust in the corner.
I will always love you
In unwritten poems.

She summons me
To her side
Entices me to embrace
The morning shadows
And dance in the sunshine
She evokes
All along her tide.
She beckons me
To reach down
To be unafraid,
Unashamed of my
Own mortality.
She anoints my feet,
My ankles and knees
Then my chest, my neck
And head.
She envelopes me
In her deeper self
She drinks me up,
Laps me up
I am awash with movement,
Drowning in her love,
Then her scream
Masks my cry
I am lucid again
I am creation.

I sped down Lindsay road going 15 miles over the usual 45.
"I'm still playing, just on the phone. I have my mic turned off now."
I sped even faster.
I felt my eyes glaze over and I saw red.
I never really was one to drive so carelessly,
but when he said that in the discord chat,
I felt cold.