as I embraced the loneliness this night, craving for iced coffee with a pinch of love given by you, I solely agree that loneliness is much more addicting than caffeine.
I never miss how passionate our kiss was, how intimate we are to each other. I just miss the warmth feeling coming from your body that screams safety and assurance and what fears me, is that I'm longing for something that is now gone.
I don't wanna fall in love with physical touch, skin to skin, intimate actions. If this love is valid, if this love could give more meaning, if this love is acceptable, I would spend the rest of my life wanting you.
Love can wait at the age of 19 but the thing is, I can't fall inlove. I fear attachments as much as I fear death, there is no guarantee that I will be madly committed with someone at 24. I seek to be alone for the rest of my life.
It gets a little hard sometimes. knowing what to do and ended up being a total worthless person in a second. When people meets a person with mental illness, you'll be labeled as someone "insane". It's very hard for the people I know to accept the fact that the mind can get a little sick too.
Today, I woke up screaming out of fear and a kinfolk is mad at me. I know I can't control it but why does it feel like it's my fault for shouting? why does it feel like I have to blame myself? Is it really my fault or should I just end this life, to prevent this from happening again.