I look back over
all of our time together,
I see the smiles,
the tears and the laughs.
everything that’s in between
is also special to our past.
The things I’ve wanted to forget,
the things that make my heart skip,
they all mix together
and give me more reasons to love you.
you remind me of a certain someone,
someone who i was close to like no other,
who caused me so much pain and stress.
exhaustion is a mess and I won't do that to myself again.
I don’t have many,
but if I could take some back,
I would never have gone to that party
and I would never have stopped writing back.
Late in the night these days,
when I think of what occurred back then,
how I said nothing about it,
I can’t help but cry.
The same reaction happens
when I remember how broken I felt inside
as I’d let myself get drunk and high.
Nearly every night for weeks.
The way I pushed you out,
the way I said goodbye,
the way I curled up in that room
and prayed to something that I’d die.
I didn’t like being sick.
I hated the emptiness.
The loneliness that consumed me.
I shouldn’t have reacted that way.
I just want to wake up tomorrow,
and forget these things.