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Sasha Feb 2018
How can one bring heat and love to another body,
when they are incapable of sensations
and can't feel at all...
How can one be expected to feel,
when numbness fills their soul...
How does one hold another,
when they can barely keep themselves together...
Nov 2016 · 655
Quick question, or two:
Sasha Nov 2016
Have you ever wished your hands didn't belong to you?
That they weren't connected to your heavy arms,
That your knuckles weren't red from punching the wall.

Have you ever wished your throat wasn't yours?
That your voice didn't burn through your vocal chords,
That your croaking scream wasn't tearing you up, inside and out.
******* for making me feel this way...
Nov 2016 · 492
Cheers to you.
Sasha Nov 2016
The words that sit on my tongue threaten to spill.
Yet I soak them up since I know your ear is not a lending one.
Your words sting; but the absence of them leaves a scar so deep, I couldn't tell you where it ends.
My lungs fill up with pent up aggression, making it hard to catch a breath.
I've begun to drown in my thoughts,
While you gulp them down and watch.
Do you remember me telling you: "I don't drink."
You're the reason that has changed.
Sep 2016 · 730
Was I Talking to You?
Sasha Sep 2016
Excuse me, but were my words addressed to your ears? Or was I perhaps not talking to you.

Do I give a **** about your unwanted opinion? Tell me, should I care?

Was my thought a gift for your mind to process? Or should you mind your own business.

Was I talking to you? Or are you just rude.
Jun 2016 · 803
One drop of color
Sasha Jun 2016
How lovely, I thought,
To see some red drop.
A splash of vibrant color ,
A drop staining red as it spreads through the water.

How graceful, I pondered,
Like a little fire dancing amongst the air.

What a shame*, I sighed,
That to admire something so lovely, so graceful,
I must shed my skin
to leave an opening
so I may see my blood become a dancer in the wind.
May 2016 · 578
Selfish Souls
Sasha May 2016
Lacking consideration for others is what they do best.
Egocentric, egotistical, self-centered, self-obsessed.
Only their personal profit or pleasure concerns them.
What should we do with selfish souls? Pardon or condemn?

Villainous souls wish to grasp love’s wonder.
They hope that their true emotions stay covered.
Their selfish minds send love running.
Will they give up their ways to feel that sensation of falling?

Open up your heart, Selfish Soul,
Let your compassionate side take control.
Let go of your fear now, love is a magical feeling.
May 2016 · 612
Selfish Me
Sasha May 2016
I know, I know, I'm sorry.
I can't help but speak my selfish thoughts into the wind.
Scold me like you should. I need it badly.
I need your deep voice to yell at me. How selfish of me, always needing.  
I say I have your intentions at the root of my thoughts yet I know I'm lying.
Please tell me this lie i speak is a little white one.
I say I'm doing this for you. I know I'm doing this for me.
Your lips are 9,222 Kilometers away from mine. I can't stand it anymore. It's crawling under my skin, causing me to itch.
My selfish heart needs your lip on me.
The blazing sun and blue skies roll around the corner and I need someones lips on mine. I'm breaking away.
Forgive me, I know I am wrong.
Sasha Feb 2016
My pink cheeks ache from smiling. My scarlet lips are untouched, unkissed. My big brown eyes are overflowing with tears yet I feel nothing roll down my pink cheeks. My ****** heart is just a toy in your hand. As soon as my heart left my body and made it's home in your hand, you played with it. Your tall and sturdy structure that I so desperately want to wrap myself around came tumbling down. You became a child. A little boy that found his new favorite toy. And I became, do you know what I became? I became your puppet, obeying at your slightest touch. My strings are pulled by you. My voice is silenced. I want to shout. I want to scream at you for stealing my heart. All this sound builds up in my throat but only I can hear it. You rotten thief! You stole my heart. I became your puppet. And yet, even though I put on such a spectacular show. You threw me in your closet and locked me away.
Feb 2016 · 3.2k
We worry
Sasha Feb 2016
She* worries I will take him away from her.
I worry he will fall for me.
He worries he will loose our friendship.
Feb 2016 · 1.4k
Dear Others,
Sasha Feb 2016
Dear Mom and Dad,
Forgive me for I have forgotten what it's like to wake up to both of your smiles.
Forgive me for I still hate the sound of your endless bickering.
Forgive for I don't try hard enough.
Forgive for I am tired.
Forgive me for I live out of a backpack.
Forgive me for you no longer sleep under the same roof.

Dear Brother,
Forgive me for I don't want you to leave.
Forgive me for I don't open up to you.
Forgive me for you have to wipe away my salty tears.
Forgive me for you have to be strong for the both of us.  

Dear Best Friends,
Forgive me for I am too close to your boyfriend.
Forgive me for I don't believe your crush will ever like you.
Forgive me for I ignore you when you talk about leaving.
Forgive me for I don't talk to you anymore.
Forgive me for I am selfish.

Dear crush,
Forgive me for I like you.
Forgive me for I think of you.
Forgive me for I make fun of you and tease you.
Forgive me for I admire your soft lips.
Forgive me for I stare at you.
Forgive me for I want to feel love.

Dear Others,
Forgive me for I am Myself.
Forgive me for I hate the way I look.
Forgive me for I get sad.
Forgive me for I disagree with people.
Forgive me for I like to dance.
Forgive me for I like to write.
Forgive me for I like to read.
Forgive me for I complain.
Forgive me for I am Human.
Thinking of transforming into spoken word
Dec 2015 · 850
I wish...
Sasha Dec 2015
I wish I was the wandering souls that escape from your coffee cup every morning. The ones that get pressed upon your cigarette stained lips.
Sasha Nov 2015
I loved you with all my young heart.
All I could see was you and I. You were what I thought would be a permanent part of my every day.
324 days I spent in your embrace.
Until one day you grabbed my poor heart and tore it apart.
She took you from me. But did you know, she wanted nothing to do with you?
You handed me to a boy who only saw me. But did he know, I wanted nothing to do with him?

And now you have become my closest friend. And do you know, that even though I will never forgive the boy for his actions, that I have fallen for him?

I miss you my love, my first, my best friend.
Nov 2015 · 361
Untitled
Sasha Nov 2015
She fell for these cold blue eyes that burn with lust for every beautiful body he sees.
Sasha Nov 2015
Everyone knows her heart is an addict.
Addicted to the unfaithful.
Addicted to the untrue.
Obsessed with the ones who will tear her apart.
Do you know why? she asks the ones who mock her idiotic ways.
*Once you fall for an unfaithful, an untrue, one who will tear you apart, thats all you fall for.
.
Nov 2015 · 2.1k
Your smile
Sasha Nov 2015
You have this smile. This smile that always sits on your full lips. Yet when the presence of an other soul disappears so does that smile. People say that your eyes gleam with something special, but I can see the thin layer of tears that create the illusion of joy. You always stand so straight but I know you crumble to the floor when you're alone. I know you sit on that rooftop wishing someone was there to hold you.Yet only the wind is there to wrap itself around you.  Theres no one. No one will ever love you. No one will ever care for you the way you dream of.  I can hear those awful words that you let float through your ears. I'm here. No where you can see, but I'm here.
I only wish this were true...
Nov 2015 · 743
Untitled
Sasha Nov 2015
emptiness swims through my veins. irrelevant thoughts cloud my brain. numbness lives in my finger tips.
Oct 2015 · 930
Fresh Sin
Sasha Oct 2015
Fresh sin. Sweaty bodies sway. Deamonds swim in the rich liquid that burns down my throat. Minutes evaporate in the that smoke leaves my lips. Innocence dies. ***** knifes lay rusting in the sink. Shattered dreams cut open my feet as I pull myself up.
Oh sweet, sweet, sweet fresh sin. Young sin. Godless sin. The spark that ignites and turns all happiness to ash.
Mistakes remain etched in my memory, like a permanent tattoo. Eternal flame replaces the friendly shoulder.
Sasha Oct 2015
The tears that stream down my face begin to match the color of my jacket. Hard, rough, and warm. Just like you. You don't bother to turn away from the crime you have committed. You watch me suffer, no emotion present on your still face. Our love has burned up like a cigarette. Don't dare try and tell me I was the one who lit the fire. You are the one to be held responsible. For you have burned up my heart and set it in an ashtray.
Oct 2015 · 549
Cold Brown Eyes
Sasha Oct 2015
They stood on a bottle littered floor. As the others violently shook to the vibrations of the music, they stood still. Warm blue eyes meet cold brown eyes. The black devours the colors as stares grow more and more lustful. All of the sudden, her cold body turns colder. She looks at him, lust turned to gloom. Her heart begs him for warmth. Her legs feel weak. Arms feel heavy. She falls back, hopping he'll catch her. Yet she smacks right onto the ground. Glass shatters. He looks at her one last time and turns to a pair of warm brown eyes. Cold brown eyes freeze on the scenery unraveling in front of her.
Sep 2015 · 424
Those Blue Eyes
Sasha Sep 2015
Pupils dilate, skin bleeds at the absence of your lips. The floor slips from under my feet as the clouds welcome me. my breath leaves me as your blue eyes devour my body. Thoughts of death replaced by you. the stars run out when i'm with you. the trees conceal our love. closed doors and closed love. silence when we are around others.
but with you, silence doesn't exist.
Sep 2015 · 302
Dreams of the moon boy
Sasha Sep 2015
like love, just know that life makes the heart want eyes to feel. That days go away, people say what they think and you are left needing to tell the night about your pain. Souls lost to the bad man’s hands. oh the better dreams that try to get the lips to know the broken feeling of love. the deep, forever, and true feeling of fear leaves the air open and the blood real. you stand on the moon, sure that your feet are there, thinking of the songs that **** with your thoughts. the beauty in his voice turns into real lies. he comes to your door, the same person, but the wrong heart. he stays grounded. on your doorstep that sits on the moon. breaking the perfect and finally, the truths turn to lies.
This may be complicated to grasp. but i chose words from the 'words' tab and strung them together.
Sep 2015 · 525
paper thin chances; Part 2
Sasha Sep 2015
The heat your cold body brought mine made my insanity run off and hide. to watch your body sway under to hot lights in the gloomy night. oh you painted my being with love. i like to think your brown eyes were mesmerized by my blue ones. the memories of your blonde hair spread out on the pavement sting in my mind. you smelled of daisies. my cigaret buds contrasted against the grass in your backyard. i knew we only had paper thin chances to live on. our luck was bending and breaking. our hope was afraid.

Yet you saved me from myself, even when you were dying.
Sep 2015 · 841
paper thin chances; Part 1
Sasha Sep 2015
Our cold bodies warmed at each others touch. We danced in the sadness of the night, under the hot lights. Our souls interlaced. Coated with love, without any space. Your fingers memorized each string of hair on my head. the ***** pavement was our favorite resting place. you smelled of cigarets and mint. the ashtrays littered the vibrant grass. paper thin chances we had to survive. oh our luck was so weak. our hopes were bare.

Yet you saved me from myself, even if you were dying.
Sep 2015 · 393
ExauSTed
Sasha Sep 2015
I aM so dOne. So tiReD of bOys asPiriNg to be Men, gRabBing my fRaIl heArt and slOwlY teAriNg it apArt. So eXhauSted frOm fixiNg evEry one. PIckiNg up tHeir lOose scRews aNd wAisTing my haPpinEss trYing to fix thEm. My yoUng soUl has AgeD too fAst. My youNg sMile tuRned tirEd. My sickening desiRe to be yEt agAin intOxicated By loVe. I bEg for my sOul to be loSt in soMeoneS smoKe. I craVe for my mInd to be lOst in someoNes fingers. To have my hEart feEl the boTtom of a sHoe. Strange fEelingS tiCkle my coLD hearT.
Sep 2015 · 833
Longing heart break
Sasha Sep 2015
All these cute ******* couples.
With their tumblr pictures and their radiating love.
All these ******* adorable young lovers with their innocent hearts,
Not even possibly being able to think about heart break.
Oh how they make my blood boil.
My taped up heart stands there, waiting to be torn down again,
While they kiss on camera.

My blood fizzles, My bones crack and My eyes ache for a lover.

My heart left empty, Lots of cute boys but none for me.

Those adorable ******* couples make me ache for a good heart break.
Sep 2015 · 434
Dear no one,
Sasha Sep 2015
My hand fits perfectly in yours, as if we were meant to be.
Hands are cold
Your lips leave their marks on my soul.
Lips are dry
My smile tingles as you stare at me.
permeant frown
Your fingers brush the hair out of my face as if I were made of china.
Shoulders bump into mine, shove me around
The sweet words you sing to me are imprinted into my brain.
*Mocking dreams
Sep 2015 · 383
Un-used Love
Sasha Sep 2015
My heart is overflowing with abundant love,
Spilling like my useless tears.
All this love, trapped inside my heart
And no one to share it with.

I stare at this beautiful soul,
Hopping one day to fall as hard as he did,
To feel his heart beat in my bones
But that bubbly feeling I should get is just coal,
Coal that rots in the pit of my stomach.

But my lover prefers to stay hid,
Who knows when I'll fall again...

Who knows...
May 2015 · 620
Soft Screams
Sasha May 2015
Your soft words repeat themselves in my crazy mind.
Except this time you are yelling at me.
This time you are yelling at the top of your lungs.
Your words pierce my ears and tickle my brain.

"I found someone new..."
" I FOUND SOMEONE NEW!!!"

My tears roll down my pink cheeks,
You capture the salt droplets on your fingers,
My tears are brought to your lips as I watch you kiss her.

"I'm happy."
"I'M HAPPY!"

My voice is as quiet as the night breeze,
All I hear is your echo.
I have no control.
I try to shout but it only comes out as a whisper.

"I NEED YOU!!!" I can feel my voice crack.
*"I *need you..."
Apr 2015 · 571
Baby Why?
Sasha Apr 2015
Please i’m begging you on my knees. Please stay. Please tell me you love me. Please hold me and tell me you will stay.
You had me wrapped around your little finger the minute you walked through that door. My friends warned me about you. “Don’t let him lure you in.” “He’s a ****** bag.” “He will break your heart.” “All he wants is you to feel pain.” I heard them as clear as glass but did I listen? Did I? No… Of course not. The signs were there. Your hair… Your hat… Your use of bad language… Your cocky grin when you looked at me… Your eyes when they stared me down… And you dragged me in. You charmed me with passion. You talked to me non stop. You would wink and lick your lips…
And I just smiled and fell into your trap. Then one day. After all the attempted conversations. You told me you didn't want me talking to you. I asked why and cussed at you. You told me I was immature. I told you I was fragile. You told me you werent. “Why do you take things so personally!”  your cold heart spoke to my broken heart. I spent my days thinking about you… My nights crying over you… “Its all about age and maturity” you said. “It’s still possible. It just will take time.” you whispered. “Wait a few years…” your hands snaked around my throat, “Just wait and see… Maybe we will be together soon…” you told me.
I am too young for you yet you are not too old for me. You let me into your world… I wanted to stay! Yet you shut the door on me…
My fingers hover over the keyboard. Your contact name accentuated by a little broken heart.
-Hey.
DELETE
-Hey!
DELETE
-Hello.
DELETE
-Hi.­
DELETE

I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to long the sight of you in front of me anymore. No. I want you next to me. I want you close. Is that too much to ask for?!
I guess it is…
Maybe you are just afraid to love someone so innocent…? Maybe you don't want to break me…?
Will two years go by if I blink twice? Or do I have to click my heels three times?
I know the years will roll by and we might forget each other. I hope not. But at the same time I do… I want to forget the little things. The little memories. I want to forget how you made me feel. How I was happy and in love… I want to forget how you make me feel now… Broken and sad…
Why do I love you?! I don’t understand myself… I know i’m not your only… I know I will forever be your number two… But just know that you are my number one when I wish you were my number negative one…

You are the devil. I am an angel. And I fell for you. My self conscience has disowned me… She mocks me… But I am in love… And sadly, i'm in love with you…
Apr 2015 · 2.1k
Colors
Sasha Apr 2015
My heart spills out colors.

Crimson
The blood that bled from my skin as your hand left mine.

Black
My irises as I spotted you.

Green
My jealousy as I saw you with her.

Yellow
The clock upon I wish to feel your lips crash against mine.

Blue
Tears I shed at night thinking of you.

Pink
My lip as I bite down on it when you call me.

White
My mind as you walk up to me.

Ruby
My face as I storm off when you ignore me.

You toy with me but I still love you.
Apr 2015 · 827
Death
Sasha Apr 2015
You danced on the frail blade that she held to her plump skin.
You swirled your hands around the sweaty trigger.
You blended into the cold crashing waves.
You hung onto the steep cliff knowing no one could stop you.
You whispered tiny daggers into his ears that he would absent-mindedly repeat.  
You grabbed her hand away from his harsh punch.
You lead him out of his misery but sparked new depression in her heart.
You showed her the light as her wrinkled hand slipped into yours.
You plucked at her food and changed the way her mirror would reflect herself.
Yet you grabbed the cord out of her hands.

I waited for you yet you never came,
You knew I wasn’t ready for your world.
Instead you handed me over to a boy.
A boy who would make my days shine,
But my nights cry at the absence of his words.

You new the pain he would hand me wrapped in pink paper was better than the tears of my family and friends.

You knew that I would much rather enjoy the cold breeze than the soft dirt.

You asked me: “Why would you ever wish that upon yourself?”
I merely replied: “We don’t all have a reason,”

“Why do you offer the gift of confidence to some and wait for their time yet rip the future from others?” I asked you as I watched my grandmother be cremated.

“Fate is my boss. I do not choose my clients,” Your suit crinkled as you held me in your arms, trying your best at comforting my broken soul.

But after all, you are just death.
You are merely a compartment in my closet of thoughts.

Often times I pick you from that cabinet and dwell over you when the night falls.

They call it overthinking.
Mar 2015 · 565
Held By You
Sasha Mar 2015
You are settled into my mind,
You have inhabited my soul.

You're more than a friend,
Yet less that a lover.

I long for your warm embrace that has been absent for so long.

You knew our love was forbidden,
Forbidden by a number that labels us,
Yet you led me on this daunting path.

And now I am lost
An other girl safe in your arms.

But baby, you know that there is something.

Should't I be the one held by you?

— The End —