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 Jul 2022 Sasha Paulona
Toothache
Passing around a fatal flaw like a joint in a hot box,
Refreshing baths of Coca~Cola and regretful indulgence.
I'm wasting away in a paradise of my own creation!

Poems tinted grey through abstinent romanticism,
and an inexplicable undertone inherent to my prose.
As everything starts to return to a drumming constant.
It all sounds the same.
Like ashen trees and factories which procrastinate and suffocate.

We've been sunbathing in porcelain skies and lonely daydreams.
I know it sounds dramatic but as is the nature of reality.
Drab and dreary and acid washed.
Interrupted like a beach by the sea,
By the little peices of honey soaked warmth that act as comforting distractions.
A smile or a shoulder or a sunny day to drink from.
Summer and solitude, the likeness of warm bodies in a cold pool.
So.
Compose me an opera of Soda Cans and of choral song. Of coffee and two bass lines and pollen and folk.
Make it for me so I can watch you as you work.
Let me listen and bask in its ludacris vanity, and clean shallow waters.
How I would relish the time spent muddying the current. Destroying the tide out of boredom.
And black hot frustration.

Flowers painted in acid and acrid accounts of repetative revalations in the context of rude rosy cheeked acceptance.
Blonde haired ignorance and one dimensional delusions.
Blue eyed terrorists armed with air and arrogance.

Give me seatwarmers and handholding
Or corvettes and convertables.
Give me arrowheads and heart attacks
Humble my bones with a cardiac

!F.R.I.E.N.D.S.!
SITCOMS
ADJASENT PLOTLINES
mumble rap
AND ***** TALK HOTLINES
four letter words with little context or meaning and selfless expression that's often demeaning

Its September in January and it rains for a day
And despite our efforts
We still waste away
We're afraid to live.
We're afraid to die.
We're afraid to try.
We're afraid of what happens if we don't try.
We're afraid to love.
We're afraid to commit.
We're afraid people think we're full of ****.
We're afraid of the truth.
We're afraid to lie.
We're afraid people will think we're weak if they see us cry.
We're afraid to feel.
We're afraid of fear.
But knowledge is power.
So now that you know what you fear,
what are you going to do about it right now? Right here?
 Mar 2022 Sasha Paulona
K
dreaming
 Mar 2022 Sasha Paulona
K
at least i see you
when i close my eyes.
it feels so real
it makes me want to die.
 Jan 2022 Sasha Paulona
m h John
i spent my life trying to please
someone with a twisted disease
i broke myself down
and tucked my feelings away
to become the person
they wanted me to be
i let myself be watched
through the glass of a two sided mirror
of a sociopath
i wallowed my spirit away
and begged for acceptance
but there’s nothing in the world
that i could do
to let the narcissist know
that i am human too
the only thing that can please a narcissist is being miserable
I woke up from a nightmare
I could not stand to keep
to myself

you were stretched across the couch
coffee going cold on the table
a half finished cigarette
still burning

you wrapped me up
in kind words that
I could not bare
to hear

whispered into my ear
"one day we will go wandering
and this tiny house will overspill
with dreams'

you are not your memories, darling
you are not the bad things
that have been done to you
you are a fierce flame
that warms my heart

forget them, my love
they are nothing
and you, and you
are everything
My old blue veins
are a map to a lover
bleeding past stains
still left to discover.
Tomorrow never comes.
I am yesterday's news.
We were the only ones.
I sing yesterday's blues.
I drink the bitter wine
I cry such bitter tears
for lost chances in time,
but laughed for years!
 Sep 2021 Sasha Paulona
Dev
You once asked me if I could ever describe you in four words, what they would be.
I finally figured it out.
"control c, control v"
i know letters aren't words but ohhhhh weelllll (:
 Sep 2021 Sasha Paulona
raphæl
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII           
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII        
"Hey, I worry that                    
music's our only shared thing."    
            "It's fine. That's enough"

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          IIIIIIIII                                IIIIIIIII
      IIIIIIIIIIIIIII                        IIIIIIIIIIIIIII
         IIIIIIIII                                 IIIIIIIII
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