Honestly,
I think we're all monsters
and we all have an excuse why
and whatever it may be
it's not a real excuse.
It's easy to get by
with a sense of validation,
as long as you feel justified
in your own mind.
I know we can't let what others think shape us,
but is it so horrible to once blame ourselves?
We all have choices to make,
and no one is truly obligated...
Honestly,
I can only blame me
for the choice to walk this path.
All the eyes on me, scrutinizing me,
it makes me want to feel shame,
but regardless of what they see
I need to do good by me.
I don't want to lay any blame
where it is not called for,
because we're all monsters wanting change
and we all have a reason to stall for.
I'm going to look in the mirror,
and tell you who is to blame,
honestly.

Every time the butterflies come,
they crawl up my throat and start to choke me
but it's a good kind of choking,
like scratching an inch even though it makes the rash burn
or liking the pain of dotted blood lines on my skin
after a long day of holding in monsoons and earthquakes
beneath calm serenity.

Or like telling myself I can never get better
even if a part of me knows, knows I can.
It’s like deciding never to speak again,
or stop eating just because you can.

And why is it that pain tastes so much like love
when I willingly dress myself in it,
yet someone lays a finger on me
and I feel the same way
when my friends are mistreated
and animals are abused,
I feel a surge of fierce hatred
throughout my whole body
and don’t you ******* touch me
ever again.

I believe the world can be better than this.
And what does that say about me?
Does it make me a hypocrite in a sort of vague way?
Because I keep wondering
if I do things without thinking
that another me would hate me for.

I keep trying to run,
but there is nowhere to hide
from all of my problems
that I keep inside.
Honestly, I think
we're all just waiting to die.
We try to seize the moment,
but then its "good bye",
and forced to face reality,
you see an ugly side.
There is no one that knows me,
that can say I hadn't tried;
everyone's watched me grow,
and seen me as I died.
There's still nothing I want to say
after all the tears I've cried,
my words received no water
and to the world they simply dried.
With no direction,
I only stumble with no guide,
a wimpering soul,
just trying to get by.
My mind my biggest bully,
a truth I should confide...
as it rips on me each day,
I wish to run and hide.
I can't stand to seize the moment;
I must go out with the tide
even though I ran away
they can't say I hadn't tried.

You want to live in your own world,
want to hide your problems from your girl,
and living in fear that the truth will unfurl,
causing your anxiety to swell and swirl.

Well, let me tell you of your mistake,
thinking she can't tell when you fake
hoping she won't figure out what's at stake,
and all because you want her to have a break.

However sweet the gesture, she knows;
It's evident the moment your smile goes,
she feels your negative energy as it flows,
and she notices when you no longer glow.

Despite your efforts, you see her sad,
and at yourself, you become mad,
because you hoped that you had
kept from her, all things that are bad.

What you fail to realize
is that when you look into her eyes,
her feelings are yours; empathized,
and you shouldn't be so surprised.

What good does it do to try to hide?
Clearly she knows what you keep inside,
but now you got her wondering why
in her, you cannot confide.

What a blow to the heart that would be,
even though you only want her to be happy...

it feels awful knowing my baby
doesn't want to communicate with me...

Unlike E.T, I don't need a phone
I am already home;
I am in my comfort zone.
Babe, you'll never be alone
and I will make it known
by writing it in stone
and in our souls, its sewn.
For, you are where my heart is,
full of joy and bliss;
nothing can beat this
or the taste of your sweet kiss.
Before, there was nothingness,
and now I have a purpose,
and this, is, bliss.

Patience is a virtue,
one I attribute to you
because baby, its true,
that everything you do
shows your value
and you always come through.

Got me screaming
Wahoooo!

No I am not dreaming
Wahoooo!

Chocolate is my favourite meal
so I got myself a good deal,
I got chocolate I can feel
come to life, its unreal,
there's no wrapper to peel.
So delicious it makes me squeel,
cmon baby take the wheel,
It's my heart you always heal
with your beautiful dark skin,
warm hands, and body thin,
the greatest being your soul within.
Away from you, I am aching,
with you, I always win.

I haven't found the words to say,
what I try to tell you every day;
that I love you, in every way,
so much now that it is cray.
Promise me you'll always stay.

Got me screaming
Wahoooo!

No I am not dreaming
Wahoooo!

No one's ever loved me like you do,
so honestly, through and through,
a love that's pure, strong, and true.
I could never properly thank you,
but I can promise to never leave you
'cause I can see just how big we grew,
and its beautiful, like a sunset's hue.
I won't stop thanking my lucky star
for our incredibly journey, so far,
and for how amazing you really are.

Let's make the world green with envy,
make them wish that they could be,
even just half as awesome as you and me.
If they get mad, let them be,
because **** their jealousy.
Let's rub it in, my baby;
I love you and you love me,
and that's what it means to be happy.

Got me screaming
Wahoooo!

No I am not dreaming
Wahoooo!

This is ******' awesome.

When I was a child,
I only slept once in awhile.
I would always be too scared
that the monsters would be there.
Now I lay awake at night in bed,
but the scary monsters don't live in the closet anymore,
they live inside my head instead
and they're not just folklore.
All the monsters became voices
that fill and overspill in my mind
telling me I made the wrong choices,
and then sleep, I rarely find.

The shadows don't make me scream,
they don't have faces like they used to.
It's different now, even when I dream,
I'm not afraid of the things I used to,
so instead of boogeyman and sandman,
I have nightmares about being alone,
about death, about memories that can
start the tears, and turn me to stone.

Paralyzed in fear still; much the same,
but there is no mommy to run to when you're 25,
and these monsters play a stronger game,
because 24/7, they are alive
and they know me, inside out,
leeching onto every insecurity,
keeping me awake with voices about
how I'll never be free from me.

It's so much more terrifying now.