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The pain slowly rises up from the toenails of swollen feet, begging to thrive, to not be released... Pulling you in, like an over needy friend, drowning remorse sounds hollow and coarse. 
A master of reality design, she finally began to analyze, who was this boy and what did he want, why was it him that got what he got? 
An advocate for the weak, something only some can understand, she never had any idea that he was nothing like most men... He was purely a design, a fragment of her mind, a poorly put together story that rhymed, so alone is where she cries, trying again to analyze. 
She finds a poem to recite 
A voice if she might
Fight this new found stage fright
So many times, they stood at the end of the stage, silently filling her heart with rage. 

She ran
She ran as far away from home as she could with that man,
With packs too heavy and without an open hand, together they ran. 
Him from his choices, her from those voices 
They kept screaming she would fail. 

She wanted to run far enough away that by the time she was home they wouldn't know what to say.. But she came home and had to stay.

Reanalyze the pain. 

See again what she had left in shame. 

The pain. 

Please God be with her, please help her pray, please come down to her, and take her pain away

He held her down and blindfolded her, whispered in her ear that she was flying, and then blew wind in her hair as she was crying, calling it Ocean Air. Salty. 

How dare me.
Angels

Your first angel was your mother.
She gave you the Ability to breathe.
She nurtured you for 9 whole months,
and pushed for however long.

     At that point different variables come into play,
your second angel is often a little hard to say.
It could be your father, if the cards play out right...
But sometimes, just sometimes, it simply is not.
Could've been your grandma, or a neighbor across the street...
Just had to be someone who never would leave.
Until they leave.
And then those angels sing the loudest song, the one your radio plays at dawn...
Your third angel comes, when you need them the most
and stay with you through distance, where you need them for hope.
   Angel number four is someone you've known before,
a connection so sacred, when together, it's known.
The fifth is a kiss, sweeter than any you've had,
an exchange of energy, that drives your hormones mad.
Like diving head first into a bubble bath...
The choices you make seem stupid and fast...
But totally worth it even if it didn't last...
      The fifth angel is a blessing, and one everyone should have.
The sixth is an elder, they will stand out like transparent opal in the glistening sun on a new day as the sun blesses the changing tides for the very first time. As if asking you to rise, and begin the new days fight. 

Angels. They aren't really in disguise.
DMT
Die ****, y'all tripped, I lean
 On the God that I've seen, 
When he met me in my dream, 
took my hand and showed me reality 
killed me dead with no helmet or memory 
He told me he loved me, humbly
        I told myself, I love myself, I discovered self.

     Rescued from the depths of unconsciously living in debt giving the world every last cent without knowing how to manifest I was drained without sense.
        Always on the defense, scared of present tense, did not dare to jump the broken fence and was stuck there burning incense. 

Wire wrapped into A sole proprietors pair of socks she didn't know would fit her shoes, how dare you. 
Doubt me!?
I doubt you. I doubt you could ever truly understand how much I could believe in you.  Or how easy it is for me to write you off. It's not heartless, with more heart than I know what to do with, I'm just not stupid. I won't be wounded, unless by self.
         Self is safe from self, and no one else. 

Let's put the world to sleep and meet em all in their dreams,
   give some prolific speech that has em waking up thinking,
      Is this my ideal reality?
They gave us the sun to explore this earth, the moon to go back home ... For in your dreams is another reality, and one you rarely see... Lucidly at least... Your dream self has explored. Has suffered. Has laughed. Has felt the fear of not being able to run as real as you feel me pinch you. How can that not mean something? How can I wake up every single morning, and not take a second to appreciate the opportunity to go back home, but wake up here...
They had to make these experiences feel real. They had to make us believe that being "awake" was as good as it got. They can't make money off you if you live in your dreams...so they refuse to let you sleep... 

Wake up! They scream. With their TVs and electro beats. With their Budweiser and whiskey. With there horsepower and responsibilities. With there everything. 

Fall asleep. In DMT. find the path they don't want you to see, find the boy that needs to breathe, find the answer and use the key, because we have the power to accomplish EVERYthing. SCREAM. "LEAVE ME BE!"

Stay out of my bank account, stay off of my streets, take your big brother, and give me back trees....
I am telling the story,
of a girl that I know,
who spent a little too long,
on the wrong side of the road

On the verge of giving up everything,
he found a way to rescue her,
he snatched her by the collar,
and pulled her deep into his lair

In the cellar she stayed,
like a good little slave,
cooking, cleaning, waiting
while he went out and played

But this boy he called it Love,
and she ate that **** up,
so she took every hit,
and kept her mouth shut

He learned how to control her,
in every single way
from scaring her into not wanting more
to taking it all away

Sometimes it felt,
like she'd prefer a belt,
but the damage he did
left her needing more then help

He did everything he could
to keep her where she was
the only thing he told her,
was how she'd never be enough

While he didn't say it,
in that many words
she was smarter then the ones before
and she clawed her ****** fingers
to the last remaining door

When she made it to the light,
barely visible that night,
she used the last little bit she had,
refusing to tap out of his relentless fight

...

In the light, she took a nap

....

When she awoke from her slumber,
her eyes were heavy with wonder

Did those wounds that look so real,
become scars that finally healed?

When will the fear,
finally subside,
when will the tears,
say a final goodbye?

Why did you do it,
Why did you try?
Why did you hurt me,
Why did you lie?
Why did you answer,
Why did you cry?
Why did you bother,
Why did you hide?

You are a fool, you know,
for every goodbye...
I re-read the words,
I understood them this time...

You know exactly what you are,
you know exactly how to act,
you know just the right words to say
to keep em always coming back

No longer is she the victim.
no longer do you have rights
no longer do you have any control
of anything in her life

She has thrown a white flag,
and she has given you up,
you did more damage then most,
but not as much as she know

You didn't know what you were doing,
when you picked up the wounded girl,
while you thought things were going exactly as planned,
she was planning to destroy your world...

You gave her too much power,
you let yourself slip too soon,
you handed her the dagger,
and opened up your wounds

Asked her to do it for you,
said it was too heavy of a load,
showed her right where to place it,
and even pulled her hands in close

So when you said "I am ready"
she simply did what you taught her too,
you're bleeding on the floor you know,
and leaving a mess is rude.
I was talking to a star today,
   Started off casual but turned to a talk about fate
About how one day this star went out on a date,
       Met a nice planet at the local cafe
  After hours of talking and positive debate
They left the cafe found a new place to create,
A bond more powerful then words could express
     In each others eyes they found comfortable happiness.

      The star and mars didn't spend a moment apart
             And suddenly it was as though they began sharing one heart
       The bond that they found became even more profound
    And they began understanding what had been holding them Down
        As they began to look deep into metaphorical eyes
            They began lifting each other to an indescribable high
      And as they got higher, things began making sense
         And the creation of life seemed the only thing left
So on one summer night, when everything felt right,
    Their universes collided and humans called it

Night

      You should see the product of that kind of love,
  She watches you nightly from up above
     Keeping an eye on all that is Us,
You can hide her anywhere in the world
     with just the tip of your thumb..

           If you happen to be in a place you can see,
                    You should look up to the Moon, and tell her
                                                    "Hello," for me.
Baby show me something I've never seen before,
chivalry's not dead and I need something more,
if you'd like we can pretend,
to be a little more then friends
but please don't forget,
I am who I am,
and I've driven down a road
past a sign that said closed
ended up in a few places
with no where else to go
and if were stuck then were stuck
and we can leave it as such,
but if you give me hope
I'll find more rope and
we'll lower ourselves
down as the ground begins to look close.
Closer
but so far away...
help me find the words,
I've forgotten how to say..
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