I have been running
In the rain..
Towards a wall with spikes..
My feet draw red.
On the mountain road..
We used to come here for hikes.

I see flowers
You used to pick
Scattered on tattered rocks..
The stale wind pierces
The flesh of my face
Its your kisses it mocks.

My ankles hurt
Your back is long gone..
To give me a joyous ride..
I swallow the pain..
I close my eyes..
Your face in my head, my guide.

I am inches away
I can taste the blood..
The seconds stretch to hours..
And the world slows down..
I know its the end..
Yet it doesn't scare, it empowers.

Then I hit the wall...
I die, I hang..
A few feet off the ground..
My fish eyes fixed
On our road below..
I hope I will see you around.

Phantom hands on my earth
Exploring crevices deep within
Phantom eyes on my lanes
Phantom fingers creeping in.

Phantom kisses and phantom breath
On my neck, on my breast
Phantom bite marks on my fields
Planting weeds on my chest.

Phantom laughters, phantom curses
I open my mouth, phantom screams
My earth slumbers in a phantom home
With true nightmares, phantom dreams.

It felt essential. Does that make sense? That moment there was begging for it. I would have regretted not pressing my lips on yours if i hadn't done that. So  we can say it was born out of need. My entirety needed to kiss you. And then that need sprouted wings and grew into luxury. And then it transcended into a skin tingling sensation that I find hard to explain. That is where I pulled away. My body was ready for it...my soul wasn't....

Not a word to the summer breezes..
That ruffle through my clothes..
Hanging on my innocuous balcony...
Not a word to the half read books..
Lying on my overcrowded bed..
Waiting for me to paint their stories...
Not a word to the whisper of love..
Buzzing through my phone..
Asking for affection in return.
Not a word to the winding alleys..
Of the unknown city..
That I now call home...
Not a word to the stuff toys..
Sitting on my couch..
Begging for a snuggle...
Not a word to the half eaten chocolate bar...
Or the half drawn doodle...
Or the half written note..

No one needs to know.
I am leaving.
I will let them know when I am long gone
And the world finds out.

Where your fingers can touch the wind..
And your tongue can taste the sea..
Away from the roads...away from you..
Hidden in the shadows of solitude..
Maybe sleeping on the edge of a mountain..
Broken, but at peace I will be.
In the name of all the love..
Will you someday come find me?